There are some other points that you are missing, like how do constructors work? If JS objects are just glorified hash maps, why can I write a constructor funct

There are some other points that you are missing, like how do constructors work? If JS objects are just glorified hash maps, why can I write a constructor function to do some stuff when the object is instantiated? The object literal syntax that looks very much like the "hash map" you are describing is exactly the same as creating a new object that extends the Object prototype. In fact, that's pretty much what's going on when you type `{}`. JavaScript is absolutely an object-oriented programming language, but it's unusual because it's also pseudo-functional, in that functions are first-class citizens. However, functions are also objects. When you type `function` in JS, that is generating an object with the `Function` prototype. You can extend this prototype and call methods on `Function`. That's how Ember.js makes its computed property syntax work, so you can just tack on `.property()` to the end of your function. This would not be possible if JS worked given the semantics you described, because in that story a function is just a function, and not an entire object. JS hides these gory details from you to simplify your experience. Most of the time, you shouldn't have to worry about these kinds of things, but it's fascinating to learn about because there's no other language that works quite like JS.