4 ms·

I think it's a matter of perspective from both parties. Both people can choose to try to build a long lasting friendship or not. It's a matter of both the indiv

by Dwolb 11y ago

I think it's a matter of perspective from both parties. Both people can choose to try to build a long lasting friendship or not. It's a matter of both the individuals and the environment. I mean, if you were to meet someone as a freshman in high school, would you were about the same thing? You have 4 years. So what about college was different?

qrendel 11y ago
I couldn't answer exactly, but one guess would be that there is more turnover in relationships at very large universities. In high school you largely move through the same classes with the same people in the same grade, versus college where you initially take a bunch of gen ed classes with people whom you may never even run into on campus again, and with more intermixing among a larger population. Also that you're younger in high school, so the time spent there is a greater fraction of your life up to that point, making the experience seem longer overall. A year or two at high school age can seem like an eternity, where as a year or two in your late teens or earlier twenties is a smaller drop in the bucket. Hopefully not just my perception - many seem to acknowledge that time seems to go by faster as you get older. Plus many people go to college, at least the large state schools, with no real intention of actually finishing. Fewer people have that attitude towards high school. Both people can try to build a long lasting friendship, but if only one is trying while the other is being opportunistic, it's less likely to go anywhere (speaking generously).
- mercer 11y ago
  The reason why for many people college felt like a strong community is probably because they found or stumbled upon one of many such communities within their colleges. Things like: - sports/activity/etc. club with regular events - student organization - dorm life - very specific subculture The basic formula is time + regular 'unstructured' interaction with a a relatively small group of people. College usually provides the first, but the second might take some work. In high school, you get both by default, so there's a decent change you at least made some friends, either from the large group you interact with, or from the tiny group of other outcasts that you're part of. I think many ills of our society would significantly lessen if we create environments and lifestyles where 'time + leisure within small tribe' can exist again. Cities can offer the latter pretty well, but time always seems to be a bit of a problem.
gohrt 11y ago
College has 10-20x the number of people per age-cohort.
- extra88 11y ago
  That's often not true. I went to a high school with fewer than 100 people in my class but then I went to a small liberal arts college where my class was only 5x bigger. I had classmates that went to high schools bigger than our college.

by Dwolb 11y ago

qrendel 11y ago

I couldn't answer exactly, but one guess would be that there is more turnover in relationships at very large universities. In high school you largely move through the same classes with the same people in the same grade, versus college where you initially take a bunch of gen ed classes with people whom you may never even run into on campus again, and with more intermixing among a larger population. Also that you're younger in high school, so the time spent there is a greater fraction of your life up to that point, making the experience seem longer overall. A year or two at high school age can seem like an eternity, where as a year or two in your late teens or earlier twenties is a smaller drop in the bucket. Hopefully not just my perception - many seem to acknowledge that time seems to go by faster as you get older. Plus many people go to college, at least the large state schools, with no real intention of actually finishing. Fewer people have that attitude towards high school. Both people can try to build a long lasting friendship, but if only one is trying while the other is being opportunistic, it's less likely to go anywhere (speaking generously).

mercer 11y ago
The reason why for many people college felt like a strong community is probably because they found or stumbled upon one of many such communities within their colleges. Things like: - sports/activity/etc. club with regular events - student organization - dorm life - very specific subculture The basic formula is time + regular 'unstructured' interaction with a a relatively small group of people. College usually provides the first, but the second might take some work. In high school, you get both by default, so there's a decent change you at least made some friends, either from the large group you interact with, or from the tiny group of other outcasts that you're part of. I think many ills of our society would significantly lessen if we create environments and lifestyles where 'time + leisure within small tribe' can exist again. Cities can offer the latter pretty well, but time always seems to be a bit of a problem.

gohrt 11y ago

College has 10-20x the number of people per age-cohort.

extra88 11y ago
That's often not true. I went to a high school with fewer than 100 people in my class but then I went to a small liberal arts college where my class was only 5x bigger. I had classmates that went to high schools bigger than our college.