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"Wow, they are so extremely nice, so polite and generous" This is true. Spent 6 weeks driving from the Turkish border to Pakistani border a few years ago with t

"Wow, they are so extremely nice, so polite and generous" This is true. Spent 6 weeks driving from the Turkish border to Pakistani border a few years ago with the wife and then 2.5 yr old daughter Countless times we were invited into peoples homes, fed, all but force to stay the night and left with foods / sweets. Aware of the taroof system we refused as didn't want to burden them but even going passed the customary 3 refusals they still insisted. A few occasions we were offered money to help us on the way when they heard about our journey (around the world). This happened in cities / villages from the upper classes to just normal people. One particular instance comes to mind of camped on the outskirts of a small dirt road village near the Persian gulf. About 7.30 we were woken up by a banging on the van. On looking out the window, a small woman dressed head to toes in a chador (black cloak covering everything but the face) insisted we come to breakfast and shower. The wife was still sleeping so we politely declined. 30 minutes later she came back, more banging and insisted, confused why we hadn't come yet, we need to eat and have to shower. She all but grabbed the wife by the hand and dragged her to her house. She put on a mighty fine spread for breakfast. Took our daughter to show her to the neighbour, then took her to the shop to buy food for the lunch she would cook for us. She called her husband, got him to come back from work (he spoke a little English). Put the cable tv and got out a secret stash of homemade red wine and some whiskey. Am not really a big drinker and 8.30am is a bit early for wine and whiskey, but I think I only refused once. Our experience was repeated by all other overlanders we met who had passed through Iran.

bklaasen 11y ago
My wife and I spent three weeks in Iran, escaping Christmas 2008 (we're not religious and we don't have kids, so visiting countries where they don't do Christmas is a brilliant way to escape the madness). It was one of the most wonderful travel experiences we've had. Here's our story of getting Ta'arof wrong in a small country town in rural Gilan: http://threeweeksiniran.blogspot.ie/2009/03/ta-fail.html http://threeweeksiniran.blogspot.ie/2009/03/ta-fail.html
geff82 11y ago
Interestingly, this kind of invitation-taroof is most often meant like they say. If they insist (and always make sure they insist) on inviting you, it is genuinely meant this way. There is no trap, no second meaning to it. My iranian wife, for example, is always prepared to receive some guests and there is no bad talking afterwards.
therein 11y ago
I really enjoyed reading about your experience. On a side note, if those offerings happened at the Turkish side, you didn't need to worry about taroof. As someone who was born and raised in Turkey for 18 years and now living in the US, I can tell you that I had never heard of taroof. You could have accepted those offerings without worry. :)

bklaasen 11y ago

My wife and I spent three weeks in Iran, escaping Christmas 2008 (we're not religious and we don't have kids, so visiting countries where they don't do Christmas is a brilliant way to escape the madness). It was one of the most wonderful travel experiences we've had. Here's our story of getting Ta'arof wrong in a small country town in rural Gilan: http://threeweeksiniran.blogspot.ie/2009/03/ta-fail.html http://threeweeksiniran.blogspot.ie/2009/03/ta-fail.html

geff82 11y ago

Interestingly, this kind of invitation-taroof is most often meant like they say. If they insist (and always make sure they insist) on inviting you, it is genuinely meant this way. There is no trap, no second meaning to it. My iranian wife, for example, is always prepared to receive some guests and there is no bad talking afterwards.

therein 11y ago

I really enjoyed reading about your experience. On a side note, if those offerings happened at the Turkish side, you didn't need to worry about taroof. As someone who was born and raised in Turkey for 18 years and now living in the US, I can tell you that I had never heard of taroof. You could have accepted those offerings without worry. :)