For exactly that reason (I am poor at mind-reading plus I do value honesty over civility) I like the Bay Area style: you can ask for anything, but you should ne

For exactly that reason (I am poor at mind-reading plus I do value honesty over civility) I like the Bay Area style: you can ask for anything, but you should never expect positive answer for a given. In particular, when I offer a couch, or payment, or a snack, then I mean it (sometimes I made this explicit). And if someone said "no" but wanted to say "yes", well, it's their problem, not mine.