4 ms·

Really ought to delink this one; not sure it's appropriate for HN, and there are plenty of people already here who will keep the conversation going if OP wants

by dimino 11y ago

Really ought to delink this one; not sure it's appropriate for HN, and there are plenty of people already here who will keep the conversation going if OP wants to talk. I know I don't come to HN to have to think about mortality, and for folks who might actually be hurting, seeing a post like this might trigger some nasty memories or feelings. My step brother, for example, killed himself, and now I'm having to think about that in the middle of my work day, when I was really just looking for a brief distraction...

mist12 11y ago
Given the prevalence of anxiety and depression in the industry, I really don't think delinking this post is the answer. This person is likely amongst those "who might actually be hurting" - try some compassion, it will do you good.
- aa0981nahsdn 11y ago
  It's reasonable to think that the person you're responding to is also in the "might actually be hurting" category, suicide of a family member is generally traumatic and life changing. We can show them and OP compassion at the same time. 'Nice' means we just do what they say and delink the post, 'kind' means we try to understand where they're coming from and try to help them understand that while we value their opinion and input we also value this discussion.
  - dimino 11y ago
    I'm just saying that there are lots of people here already doing the 'kind' thing, so maybe it's about time to do the 'nice' thing for the folks who haven't been burdened by this yet.
- dimino 11y ago
  > Given the prevalence of anxiety and depression in the industry That's not true, I don't think, and your dispassionate "grow some balls" comment at the end is pretty ironic and certainly hurtful. :( I hope I'm misunderstanding what you meant by that...
  - dang 11y ago
    I'm sorry about your step brother and understand how pain can flare up like this. But please don't take this argument further; it only makes things worse. Let's apply the principle of charity and assume that the GP didn't mean to hurt you.
  - mist12 11y ago
    I am very far from dispassionate on this subject. Like the OP and many of the other people posting, I've struggled with severe depression and I know from personal experience, talking with many others in the industry (specifically in SV) and talking to people in the medical field that there is a lot of anxiety and depression around. I am very sorry that you've experienced the loss of a family member, and I didn't mean to be hurtful. I simply meant to say that, in my personal opinion, delinking the post is not helpful as it simply papers over a problem which exists.

by dimino 11y ago

mist12 11y ago

Given the prevalence of anxiety and depression in the industry, I really don't think delinking this post is the answer. This person is likely amongst those "who might actually be hurting" - try some compassion, it will do you good.

aa0981nahsdn 11y ago
It's reasonable to think that the person you're responding to is also in the "might actually be hurting" category, suicide of a family member is generally traumatic and life changing. We can show them and OP compassion at the same time. 'Nice' means we just do what they say and delink the post, 'kind' means we try to understand where they're coming from and try to help them understand that while we value their opinion and input we also value this discussion.
- dimino 11y ago
  I'm just saying that there are lots of people here already doing the 'kind' thing, so maybe it's about time to do the 'nice' thing for the folks who haven't been burdened by this yet.
dimino 11y ago
> Given the prevalence of anxiety and depression in the industry That's not true, I don't think, and your dispassionate "grow some balls" comment at the end is pretty ironic and certainly hurtful. :( I hope I'm misunderstanding what you meant by that...
- dang 11y ago
  I'm sorry about your step brother and understand how pain can flare up like this. But please don't take this argument further; it only makes things worse. Let's apply the principle of charity and assume that the GP didn't mean to hurt you.
- mist12 11y ago
  I am very far from dispassionate on this subject. Like the OP and many of the other people posting, I've struggled with severe depression and I know from personal experience, talking with many others in the industry (specifically in SV) and talking to people in the medical field that there is a lot of anxiety and depression around. I am very sorry that you've experienced the loss of a family member, and I didn't mean to be hurtful. I simply meant to say that, in my personal opinion, delinking the post is not helpful as it simply papers over a problem which exists.