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Learn to live with failure. Most of these folks sound pretty privileged, as if they never got smacked in the face with reality or had to deal with failure. Some

Learn to live with failure. Most of these folks sound pretty privileged, as if they never got smacked in the face with reality or had to deal with failure. Sometimes that's what happens when one is a young superstar, the odds were in their favor until it wasn't. I disagree. Never learn to live with failure. Failure should be painful, and should be proportional to what you put into trying to succeed. Doing a startup should be toward the top of the list of things you should feel really bad about failing at (after failing as a parent, spouse, child). You should pour everything you have into the startup. If you do anything less then you probably deserve to fail (although you may still succeed). If you can do a startup, fail, and then say, "no biggie, on to the next", then you're probably not someone that I would bet on. That said, after a week of crying (and probably months prior to that of anxiety), you should be able to bounce back. Incorporate all that you learned into your next try.

alaskamiller 11y ago
Using pain as a motivation is what a monk does behind closed doors whipping himself to get to god. I offer satisfaction as the better non-masochistic alternative. And in your scenario only a child plays that game. Because they don't know any better and at that stage it's entirely based only randomness. Today's Disney super star is tomorrow's old news. There's also some kind of weird perversion of only wanting to place bets on those so intense that they tilt to suicide from the anxiety and shame. Adults know better and as it turns out after adulting for awhile and living in reality only then does entrepreneurship really take shape.
- kenjackson 11y ago
  It's not based on randomness. You can't field a random group of 12 men and win the NBA Championship or 53 for the Super Bowl. As composed as Russell Wilson was, he didn't immediately forget about the game. That's the difference between those that make it and those that don't. I'd be curious if there are virtually any successful founders (Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Larry Ellison, Sergey Brin, Larry Page, Jerry Yang, etc) who would have been completely indifferent if they failed. I suspect that is not highly correlated with those that succeed. And I think Floyd Mayweather would offer that failure is bad for you. You can learn as many lessons from winning/succeeding as losing/failing. Or as an ex-coach used to say, "losing teaches a lot of lessons -- most importantly, that you need to figure out how to win"
  - tjradcliffe 11y ago
    Your model of "randomness" is unrelated to the argument that is being made here. No one--absolutely no one--is saying anything to suggest that a random selection of people could win an NBA championship. They are saying that randomness has an important role to play in the creation of a winning team, along with talent and hard work. Given that the world is full of talented people who are working hard--and it is--the difference between those who make it and those who don't is very often due to luck. Persistence and courage are two things that really do make a difference because they give luck the most time and largest field on which to operate, but nothing can eliminate luck entirely. Almost everyone who succeeds is talented and works hard. That is completely unrelated to the claim that everyone who is talented and works hard succeeds. The belief that winners and losers are separated primarily by talent and effort is not very plausible, given the number of "near misses" in the world: people who make it most of the way to success and get derailed by one bad choice (which was not an obviously bad choice at the time) or some other piece of bad luck.
    - kenjackson 11y ago
      The real secret about success is that it's random. It's not even about luck or hard work, success is simply random. That's the line I was responding to. This seems directly opposed to what you said, "They are saying that randomness has an important role to play in the creation of a winning team, along with talent and hard work." I will grant you that randomness plays a role. But success in NOT "simply random".
      - alaskamiller 11y ago
        Someone right now paid one ticket and won the lotto. Someone right now said hello once and met their significant other they're marrying. Someone right now submitted their resume once and got the job of their dreams. Someone right now has interviewed ten times and only got one rejection letter. Someone right now had paid for a hundred thousand tickets and never won a thing. Someone right now has said hello a million times and still hasn't found their romantic love. You and I are somewhere in between those two extremes. It is random and chaotic. There are times good things happen to bad people and sometimes bad things happen to good people. This isn't to say you shouldn't go full nihilistic, don't work hard, don't be kind, don't be compassionate, but the unwavering belief that hard work and fearing failure is the only salvation will drive you crazy pointlessly when you still don't get what you want. Expecting results and not getting it in spite of your hard work will make you bitter, jealous and negative. The pursuit for success will make you a monster and in turn distance you from others. And in the end you might just get hit by a bus randomly walking down a street.
tjradcliffe 11y ago
The problem with this view is that fear of failure is a strong demotivator for many people. Want to avoid failure? Never do anything interesting. It's a mistake to think that fear of failure is the only or even the best motivator, and I would be extremely leary of betting on anyone who was primarily motivated by fear of failure. I want to back someone who desires success above all else, not who fears failure. They are quite different things.
- kenjackson 11y ago
  I never said you should be motivated by fear. In fact I'd argue that being motivated to succeed leads to exactly the same thing I describe -- failure being painful. It's not about being motivated by fear. It's about not being indifferent to success or failure. If you show me someone who doesn't care if they succeed or fail, I'll show you someone who probably will fail a million times or more -- then die.

alaskamiller 11y ago

Using pain as a motivation is what a monk does behind closed doors whipping himself to get to god. I offer satisfaction as the better non-masochistic alternative. And in your scenario only a child plays that game. Because they don't know any better and at that stage it's entirely based only randomness. Today's Disney super star is tomorrow's old news. There's also some kind of weird perversion of only wanting to place bets on those so intense that they tilt to suicide from the anxiety and shame. Adults know better and as it turns out after adulting for awhile and living in reality only then does entrepreneurship really take shape.

kenjackson 11y ago
It's not based on randomness. You can't field a random group of 12 men and win the NBA Championship or 53 for the Super Bowl. As composed as Russell Wilson was, he didn't immediately forget about the game. That's the difference between those that make it and those that don't. I'd be curious if there are virtually any successful founders (Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Larry Ellison, Sergey Brin, Larry Page, Jerry Yang, etc) who would have been completely indifferent if they failed. I suspect that is not highly correlated with those that succeed. And I think Floyd Mayweather would offer that failure is bad for you. You can learn as many lessons from winning/succeeding as losing/failing. Or as an ex-coach used to say, "losing teaches a lot of lessons -- most importantly, that you need to figure out how to win"
- tjradcliffe 11y ago
  Your model of "randomness" is unrelated to the argument that is being made here. No one--absolutely no one--is saying anything to suggest that a random selection of people could win an NBA championship. They are saying that randomness has an important role to play in the creation of a winning team, along with talent and hard work. Given that the world is full of talented people who are working hard--and it is--the difference between those who make it and those who don't is very often due to luck. Persistence and courage are two things that really do make a difference because they give luck the most time and largest field on which to operate, but nothing can eliminate luck entirely. Almost everyone who succeeds is talented and works hard. That is completely unrelated to the claim that everyone who is talented and works hard succeeds. The belief that winners and losers are separated primarily by talent and effort is not very plausible, given the number of "near misses" in the world: people who make it most of the way to success and get derailed by one bad choice (which was not an obviously bad choice at the time) or some other piece of bad luck.
  - kenjackson 11y ago
    The real secret about success is that it's random. It's not even about luck or hard work, success is simply random. That's the line I was responding to. This seems directly opposed to what you said, "They are saying that randomness has an important role to play in the creation of a winning team, along with talent and hard work." I will grant you that randomness plays a role. But success in NOT "simply random".
    - alaskamiller 11y ago
      Someone right now paid one ticket and won the lotto. Someone right now said hello once and met their significant other they're marrying. Someone right now submitted their resume once and got the job of their dreams. Someone right now has interviewed ten times and only got one rejection letter. Someone right now had paid for a hundred thousand tickets and never won a thing. Someone right now has said hello a million times and still hasn't found their romantic love. You and I are somewhere in between those two extremes. It is random and chaotic. There are times good things happen to bad people and sometimes bad things happen to good people. This isn't to say you shouldn't go full nihilistic, don't work hard, don't be kind, don't be compassionate, but the unwavering belief that hard work and fearing failure is the only salvation will drive you crazy pointlessly when you still don't get what you want. Expecting results and not getting it in spite of your hard work will make you bitter, jealous and negative. The pursuit for success will make you a monster and in turn distance you from others. And in the end you might just get hit by a bus randomly walking down a street.

tjradcliffe 11y ago

The problem with this view is that fear of failure is a strong demotivator for many people. Want to avoid failure? Never do anything interesting. It's a mistake to think that fear of failure is the only or even the best motivator, and I would be extremely leary of betting on anyone who was primarily motivated by fear of failure. I want to back someone who desires success above all else, not who fears failure. They are quite different things.

kenjackson 11y ago
I never said you should be motivated by fear. In fact I'd argue that being motivated to succeed leads to exactly the same thing I describe -- failure being painful. It's not about being motivated by fear. It's about not being indifferent to success or failure. If you show me someone who doesn't care if they succeed or fail, I'll show you someone who probably will fail a million times or more -- then die.