8 ms·

Single mother rates aren't because women are some kind of super feminists who refuse to marry. The majority of single mother families are the result of failed m

by jkyle 11y ago

Single mother rates aren't because women are some kind of super feminists who refuse to marry. The majority of single mother families are the result of failed marriages and long term relationships. They are also most likely to be financially insecure. And that insecurity is due to the lack of participation in the rearing and responsibility for their child by the father. In short, the rising rate of single parenthood in the U.S. is not an outcome of empowering women and equal rights. It's a consequence of abject poverty and lack of accountability by fathers. [1] http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/07/23/discouraged-dads/ http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/07/23/discouraged-dad...

protonfish 11y ago
The differences between "failed marriages" of yesterday and today is that before women had to stay in them. Many of these poor single mothers are better off than with an abusive or irresponsible husband.
- mafribe 11y ago
  Are you not displaying sexist thinking here, in that you privilege mothers over fathers? Why should the well-being of the mother be the only relevant criterion? What about the well-being of the father and the children?
  - jkyle 11y ago
    The OP said in the case of an abusive husband. Are you suggesting that marriages should be held together so as not to damage the well being of the abuser by losing his object of abuse?
    - mafribe 11y ago
      And I questioned why the OP made such a one-sided example, one that falls squarely in line with those who -- empirically -- disproportionally benefit financially from a divorce. I'm suggesting that the main concern should be the well-being of the children. Most marriages fail, because the spouses get bored and tired of each other, and feel that the grass could be greener somewhere else. I don't think that's good enough a reason for divorce. At least wait until the children have left the home.
bnolsen 11y ago
pile of crap. women in the US are incentivized to divorce. In all cases they get primary custody of the children even if they have drug issues and walk away with substantial income. 80% of divorces in the US are initiated by the woman. This leaves men impoverished and unable to interract with their own children. The state treats them like money generators and that's it. http://www.uplifting-love.com/2013/08/80-percent-of-divorces-are-filed-by.html http://www.uplifting-love.com/2013/08/80-percent-of-divorces... i don't agree with the above article, just posted it as the very wide evidence of women throwing away the marriage contract.
- magic_beans 11y ago
  "In all cases they get primary custody of the children even if they have drug issues and walk away with substantial income" Whoa. That is ABSOLUTELY not true. "80% of divorces in the US are initiated by the woman." 20% percent (but probably much more) of marriages involve women being domestic abused by their husbands. Why should a woman stay in an unhappy or abusive relationship? Your comment is pretty out of line, man.
  - alextgordon 11y ago
    > "80% of divorces in the US are initiated by the woman." > Why should a woman stay in an [unhappy] relationship? I don't think you can make that inference.
  - mafribe 11y ago
    Why should a woman stay in an unhappy or abusive relationship? Turn this question around: why should a man stay in an unhappy or abusive relationship? Answer: because given the current divorce law, and, more importantly, divorce practice, he will loose half his money, his house and his children, should there be any. 20% percent (but probably much more) of marriages involve women being domestic abused by their husbands. By what credible metric? Counting not buying red roses every day as abuse?
  - hedgew 11y ago
    The overall violent crime rate is 0.4%. It sounds unbelievable that wives are 50 times more likely to be victims of violence than the general population. Even in prisons, the violent crime rate is only 4%
wtbob 11y ago
> Single mother rates aren't because women are some kind of super feminists who refuse to marry. The majority of single mother families are the result of failed marriages and long term relationships. Failed marriages may in many cases be the result of an independent attitude (such as the single mother in the article, who divorced her husband because he cheated on her). Is it good that she left a bad husband? Is it bad that her child is growing up in a broken home? Well, that's something folks can disagree on. As for long term relationships, I believe that phenomenon is a symptom of America's incarceration rates among the poor: free men are so outnumbered by women that they have no need to marry.
- Retric 11y ago
  Saying "broken home" is ridiculous. A home with a cheating husband is already broken, and nobody calls a widowed family "broken".
  - jessaustin 11y ago
    You don't like the phrase "broken home", but you're happy to talk about "cheating"? [EDIT: removed confrontational language] Both of those idioms attempt to universalize judgments that are necessarily personal and cultural. There are many happy productive intact families who have infidelity or [EDIT: in some cases perhaps] better said polyamory in their past or even present. Marriage is what married people choose to make it, every day. Is it telling that you particularly mention "a cheating husband"?
    - philwelch 11y ago
      As someone in a polyamorous marriage, polyamory and cheating are two entirely different things.
    - Retric 11y ago
      I actually have no problem with non-traditional marriages. However, some form of "forsaking all others" is one of the most common vows. So, assuming it was part of the original covenant then it was clearly that convent was broken well before 'divorce.' Some groups go so far as to consider a couple divorced on the first infidelity. Also, generally it’s not the initial cheating party that instigates divorce proceedings as your better off divorcing before infidelity than after. So, if we are talking about female divorcers then the infidelity would generally be on the male side (excluding LGBT).
jkot 11y ago
I know mqny couples in Ireland who are not married, they would loose 30% of income after wedding.
beachstartup 11y ago
> The majority of single mother families are the result of failed marriages and long term relationships. i'm going to posit that it wasn't a 'failure' of marriage or long-term relationship, it was the complete absence of one. in fact many times women get pregnant in order to attempt to enter one. that strategy, of course, could be described as .. misguided, but young women don't know that. they are just as stupid as young men in their attempts to secure relationships.

by jkyle 11y ago

protonfish 11y ago

The differences between "failed marriages" of yesterday and today is that before women had to stay in them. Many of these poor single mothers are better off than with an abusive or irresponsible husband.

mafribe 11y ago
Are you not displaying sexist thinking here, in that you privilege mothers over fathers? Why should the well-being of the mother be the only relevant criterion? What about the well-being of the father and the children?
- jkyle 11y ago
  The OP said in the case of an abusive husband. Are you suggesting that marriages should be held together so as not to damage the well being of the abuser by losing his object of abuse?
  - mafribe 11y ago
    And I questioned why the OP made such a one-sided example, one that falls squarely in line with those who -- empirically -- disproportionally benefit financially from a divorce. I'm suggesting that the main concern should be the well-being of the children. Most marriages fail, because the spouses get bored and tired of each other, and feel that the grass could be greener somewhere else. I don't think that's good enough a reason for divorce. At least wait until the children have left the home.

bnolsen 11y ago

pile of crap. women in the US are incentivized to divorce. In all cases they get primary custody of the children even if they have drug issues and walk away with substantial income. 80% of divorces in the US are initiated by the woman. This leaves men impoverished and unable to interract with their own children. The state treats them like money generators and that's it. http://www.uplifting-love.com/2013/08/80-percent-of-divorces-are-filed-by.html http://www.uplifting-love.com/2013/08/80-percent-of-divorces... i don't agree with the above article, just posted it as the very wide evidence of women throwing away the marriage contract.

magic_beans 11y ago
"In all cases they get primary custody of the children even if they have drug issues and walk away with substantial income" Whoa. That is ABSOLUTELY not true. "80% of divorces in the US are initiated by the woman." 20% percent (but probably much more) of marriages involve women being domestic abused by their husbands. Why should a woman stay in an unhappy or abusive relationship? Your comment is pretty out of line, man.
- alextgordon 11y ago
  > "80% of divorces in the US are initiated by the woman." > Why should a woman stay in an [unhappy] relationship? I don't think you can make that inference.
- mafribe 11y ago
  Why should a woman stay in an unhappy or abusive relationship? Turn this question around: why should a man stay in an unhappy or abusive relationship? Answer: because given the current divorce law, and, more importantly, divorce practice, he will loose half his money, his house and his children, should there be any. 20% percent (but probably much more) of marriages involve women being domestic abused by their husbands. By what credible metric? Counting not buying red roses every day as abuse?
- hedgew 11y ago
  The overall violent crime rate is 0.4%. It sounds unbelievable that wives are 50 times more likely to be victims of violence than the general population. Even in prisons, the violent crime rate is only 4%

wtbob 11y ago

> Single mother rates aren't because women are some kind of super feminists who refuse to marry. The majority of single mother families are the result of failed marriages and long term relationships. Failed marriages may in many cases be the result of an independent attitude (such as the single mother in the article, who divorced her husband because he cheated on her). Is it good that she left a bad husband? Is it bad that her child is growing up in a broken home? Well, that's something folks can disagree on. As for long term relationships, I believe that phenomenon is a symptom of America's incarceration rates among the poor: free men are so outnumbered by women that they have no need to marry.

Retric 11y ago
Saying "broken home" is ridiculous. A home with a cheating husband is already broken, and nobody calls a widowed family "broken".
- jessaustin 11y ago
  You don't like the phrase "broken home", but you're happy to talk about "cheating"? [EDIT: removed confrontational language] Both of those idioms attempt to universalize judgments that are necessarily personal and cultural. There are many happy productive intact families who have infidelity or [EDIT: in some cases perhaps] better said polyamory in their past or even present. Marriage is what married people choose to make it, every day. Is it telling that you particularly mention "a cheating husband"?
  - philwelch 11y ago
    As someone in a polyamorous marriage, polyamory and cheating are two entirely different things.
  - Retric 11y ago
    I actually have no problem with non-traditional marriages. However, some form of "forsaking all others" is one of the most common vows. So, assuming it was part of the original covenant then it was clearly that convent was broken well before 'divorce.' Some groups go so far as to consider a couple divorced on the first infidelity. Also, generally it’s not the initial cheating party that instigates divorce proceedings as your better off divorcing before infidelity than after. So, if we are talking about female divorcers then the infidelity would generally be on the male side (excluding LGBT).

jkot 11y ago

I know mqny couples in Ireland who are not married, they would loose 30% of income after wedding.

beachstartup 11y ago

> The majority of single mother families are the result of failed marriages and long term relationships. i'm going to posit that it wasn't a 'failure' of marriage or long-term relationship, it was the complete absence of one. in fact many times women get pregnant in order to attempt to enter one. that strategy, of course, could be described as .. misguided, but young women don't know that. they are just as stupid as young men in their attempts to secure relationships.