I see your point, but I think looking for a new job/relationship now rather than later is actually better for both parties involved. Sure, the party who finds

I see your point, but I think looking for a new job/relationship now rather than later is actually better for both parties involved. Sure, the party who finds out last will feel hurt (possibly betrayed) in the short term, but it's much better than staying in a job/relationship that only one party is interested in continuing. The other party will only grow more unhappy until they can't stand it anymore and will forcefully try to end the relationship anyway, except in a much uglier way. Of course your emotions, as all of this is going down, will often make this kind of rationalization difficult to see.