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Obviously my remarks would be focused on the 1/8th of the difference (in your view) that is a difference of performance on the part of the speaker, rather than
by escape_goat 11y ago
Obviously my remarks would be focused on the 1/8th of the difference (in your view) that is a difference of performance on the part of the speaker, rather than an imputation of motive on the part of a hostile listener.
As I said, sharing personal news leaves one open to rejection, which presumably is what you have been experiencing. If any of your peers are indeed "small, insecure, and self-loathing," as you say, then it is probably a bad idea to try to share your happiness with them in the first place; most especially if you are already braced for a negative response, but sharing the news anyways. Your motive here would be really unclear to me as a third-party witness. I'll accept your assertion that what you're doing isn't bragging, but it seems somewhat confrontational to go ahead and volunteer information regarding your successes under those circumstances. If it accounts for 7/8ths of your problems with people misidentifying your attempts to share happy personal news as bragging, then you may have a more general social problem with knowing how to manage impersonal relationships. I'm pretty bad at that, myself.
With regards to that remaining 1/8th, the way the speaker is conducting himself, what do you see the essential difference between bragging and sharing good news to be? What is it in people's demeanor or attitude that makes you, as an audience, feel that they are engaged in bragging?
- deleted 11y ago[deleted]
- kazinator 11y ago> rejection, which presumably you've been experiencing Uncalled for ad hominem. > With regards to that remaining 1/8th, the way the speaker is conducting himself, what do you see the essential difference between bragging and sharing good news to be? Probably this: Is the person interested in that sort of thing? For instance, someone who has no interest in sports will probably be bored by news that your soccer team won a tournament. Though you're telling something about you, you will bore if it doesn't connect with the other person's interest. Then there is the presentation. Obvious self-aggrandization is bragging, regardless of anything. (Blah blah blah good news, and I'm so great, I'm practically the cat's meow! My shit doesn't even stink!)
- escape_goat 11y agoI originally felt that your remarks were essentially an ad hominem attack themselves, made by imputation rather than explicitly. Rather than go with that, I decided to interpret them in a sympathetic light. Although this required that I imagine you as having experienced rejection, it allowed me to treat your characterization of someone who might think you were bragging ("small," "insecure", "self-loathing") as understandable within the context of bewildered injury.