4 ms·

I didn't see this covered under the will section but do talk to important people in your life while you are making your will. Nothing in your will should be a s

I didn't see this covered under the will section but do talk to important people in your life while you are making your will. Nothing in your will should be a surprise to those that are involved in your estate after you die. If you are leaving a large asset (money, house, investments, a 500 foot yacht in the Bahamas you never told anyone about) then the person getting it should know before hand. If you have kids you need to discuss what happens to them, who takes care of them etc. This is a careful balance of the burden you put on family and friends and the well being of you children with the balance favoring your kids. The most important thing is that you have these discussions and then document them in a will. Do not just fill out an online form, have it notarized and filed in a safe deposit box to be unearthed when you meet your end, timely or otherwise. The process of creating a will like this can be a catalyst to re-prioritize your life and what is important to you and your family. But of course, it doesn't have to be. As this site mentions, get your shit together! It's better to have a boilerplate will squirreled away somewhere that no one but your lawyer knows about than none at all.

cafard 11y ago
When we made a will, the person who had advised us to do so said, "And don't put it in a safe-deposit box. It will greatly delay the availability if you die suddenly.
- kansface 11y ago
  Put one in the bank, too.
ersii 11y ago
If you are leaving a large asset (money, house, investments, a 500 foot yacht in the Bahamas you never told anyone about) then the person getting it should know before hand. Could you elaborate on why you should tell someone before hand that you're going to leave assets in their name? Is it just common courtesy/manners in your opinion? Or something else? I'm genuinely courageous.
- smileysteve 11y ago
  Some things create hassles, especially illiquid assets like a house or yacht if that person has no desire for them and no knowledge about selling them. Also, family conflicts. If your brother's uncle's nephew gets the house instead of the son who expects it, but there's good reason (he was renting it already), family conflicts arise for not great reasons.
- iamthepieman 11y ago
  as smileysteve said anything except for cash has it's own burdens and commitment associated with it. If I left my house to my brother who travels all over the place and has a carefree life it might be more of a burden trying to maintain it, rent it out or sell it than its worth. It might not, but that's why I would talk to him before putting it in a will. Also, having these kinds of conversations is good for everyone involved because it makes them think about the little details beforehand and not while they are in the middle of funeral plans and grieving. It's called estate planning, not estate liquidation or estate lottery. You wouldn't make major plans regarding your family without talking to your spouse or business plans without talking to your partners. Just because you won't be around doesn't mean you should treat it any differently. Anyone involved in your estate should be involved prior to your will going into effect whether they be executors, caregivers or recipients.
- VLM 11y ago
  They might be confusing executor issues with beneficiary issues. The cost of maintaining an extra house, until it sells, can be kinda high in some areas, for example. And there are ways of handling this in the legal system, most of which involve the beneficiaries getting much less money (starting with asking a judge to assign an expensive lawyer as executor instead of whomever). And unfortunately some folks can't really keep their stuff together by themselves when you're alive under normal conditions, so dumping executorship on them is just going to totally mess them up, they can't run one household now temporarily they have two. Someone who's totally clueless about 500 foot yachts is just going to get screwed over either as executor or inheritor... hope at least one of them is semi-clueful about yachts, hopefully ahead of time. There are bottom feeders who look thru the legal notices in the paper and will descend on the grieving victims with absolutely ridiculous offers to take the hassle away... for pennies on the dollar, if that. Oh that classic Ferrari in perfect condition, well, I can't really offer more than scrap steel price for that, and next thing you know some poor widow gets screwed out of $100K.
Dewie3 11y ago
> This is a careful balance of the burden you put on family and friends and the well being of you children with the balance favoring your kids. If the balance "favours your kids", presumably meaning that the new caretakers feel overwhelmed by that responsibility, I guess they could refuse that responsibility. I guess having that wish be in your will might pressure them sufficiently to actually go through with that responsibility, but that kind of pressuring somehow doesn't feel right either.

cafard 11y ago

When we made a will, the person who had advised us to do so said, "And don't put it in a safe-deposit box. It will greatly delay the availability if you die suddenly.

kansface 11y ago
Put one in the bank, too.

ersii 11y ago

If you are leaving a large asset (money, house, investments, a 500 foot yacht in the Bahamas you never told anyone about) then the person getting it should know before hand. Could you elaborate on why you should tell someone before hand that you're going to leave assets in their name? Is it just common courtesy/manners in your opinion? Or something else? I'm genuinely courageous.

smileysteve 11y ago
Some things create hassles, especially illiquid assets like a house or yacht if that person has no desire for them and no knowledge about selling them. Also, family conflicts. If your brother's uncle's nephew gets the house instead of the son who expects it, but there's good reason (he was renting it already), family conflicts arise for not great reasons.
iamthepieman 11y ago
as smileysteve said anything except for cash has it's own burdens and commitment associated with it. If I left my house to my brother who travels all over the place and has a carefree life it might be more of a burden trying to maintain it, rent it out or sell it than its worth. It might not, but that's why I would talk to him before putting it in a will. Also, having these kinds of conversations is good for everyone involved because it makes them think about the little details beforehand and not while they are in the middle of funeral plans and grieving. It's called estate planning, not estate liquidation or estate lottery. You wouldn't make major plans regarding your family without talking to your spouse or business plans without talking to your partners. Just because you won't be around doesn't mean you should treat it any differently. Anyone involved in your estate should be involved prior to your will going into effect whether they be executors, caregivers or recipients.
VLM 11y ago
They might be confusing executor issues with beneficiary issues. The cost of maintaining an extra house, until it sells, can be kinda high in some areas, for example. And there are ways of handling this in the legal system, most of which involve the beneficiaries getting much less money (starting with asking a judge to assign an expensive lawyer as executor instead of whomever). And unfortunately some folks can't really keep their stuff together by themselves when you're alive under normal conditions, so dumping executorship on them is just going to totally mess them up, they can't run one household now temporarily they have two. Someone who's totally clueless about 500 foot yachts is just going to get screwed over either as executor or inheritor... hope at least one of them is semi-clueful about yachts, hopefully ahead of time. There are bottom feeders who look thru the legal notices in the paper and will descend on the grieving victims with absolutely ridiculous offers to take the hassle away... for pennies on the dollar, if that. Oh that classic Ferrari in perfect condition, well, I can't really offer more than scrap steel price for that, and next thing you know some poor widow gets screwed out of $100K.

Dewie3 11y ago

> This is a careful balance of the burden you put on family and friends and the well being of you children with the balance favoring your kids. If the balance "favours your kids", presumably meaning that the new caretakers feel overwhelmed by that responsibility, I guess they could refuse that responsibility. I guess having that wish be in your will might pressure them sufficiently to actually go through with that responsibility, but that kind of pressuring somehow doesn't feel right either.