13 ms·

Get Your Shit Together

635 points by Red_Tarsius 11y ago

wehadfun 11y ago
Thanks for the reminder.
a2tech 11y ago
This site is great! My wife and I were just discussing how we needed to get a living will/will written down so our wishes are clearly understood in the case of an emergency.
thehoff 11y ago
I ran across this site the other day as well as my wife and I were discussing that with a kid now we should get wills.
codeulike 11y ago
Great idea! One thing though - this is presumably USA specific but nowhere does it actually spell that out, which could be confusing/timewasting for any brits or aussies who want to get their shit together. E.g a UK will has completely different wording to a USA will.
- tempodox 11y ago
  this is presumably USA specific but nowhere does it actually spell that out We humans have a hard time remembering that anything we communicate has _a lot_ of implicit context. On the Internet, this becomes especially conspicuous because our communications quickly escape the realm where that implicit context is known & valid. Up to now, the way to deal with that seems to be EULAs written in Legalese.
rcarrigan87 11y ago
It's a morbid subject, but working in home health care I'm shocked by how many people are totally unprepared when it comes to end of life planning. And it's not just relatively young people or unexpected deaths. Many senior citizens with decent sized estates are totally unprepared or just assume their family will figure it out. You pass on a lot of additional stress and hardship to your loved ones by not being prepared. I love the site title btw.
- cortesoft 11y ago
  There was a great Planet Money episode on this topic: http://www.npr.org/sections/money/2014/03/05/286126451/living-wills-are-the-talk-of-the-town-in-la-crosse-wis http://www.npr.org/sections/money/2014/03/05/286126451/livin...
- brc 11y ago
  True. I had a relative pass a few years back from cancer. It wasn't sudden at all. The relative worked in the financial services industry and had provided me advice about estate planning. When it came to the estate things were not prepared at all. If fact it was a bit of a mess. I guess it's the case of builders living in unfinished houses and that.
lfender6445 11y ago
Can you imagine being in a vegetative state and not having legal means to end your life or have someone pull the plug? I need to get my shit together.
jh37 11y ago
I actually JUST completed my will on doyourownwill for free. Pdf and word doc. http://www.doyourownwill.com http://www.doyourownwill.com
deleted 11y ago
[deleted]
iamthepieman 11y ago
I didn't see this covered under the will section but do talk to important people in your life while you are making your will. Nothing in your will should be a surprise to those that are involved in your estate after you die. If you are leaving a large asset (money, house, investments, a 500 foot yacht in the Bahamas you never told anyone about) then the person getting it should know before hand. If you have kids you need to discuss what happens to them, who takes care of them etc. This is a careful balance of the burden you put on family and friends and the well being of you children with the balance favoring your kids. The most important thing is that you have these discussions and then document them in a will. Do not just fill out an online form, have it notarized and filed in a safe deposit box to be unearthed when you meet your end, timely or otherwise. The process of creating a will like this can be a catalyst to re-prioritize your life and what is important to you and your family. But of course, it doesn't have to be. As this site mentions, get your shit together! It's better to have a boilerplate will squirreled away somewhere that no one but your lawyer knows about than none at all.
- cafard 11y ago
  When we made a will, the person who had advised us to do so said, "And don't put it in a safe-deposit box. It will greatly delay the availability if you die suddenly.
  - kansface 11y ago
    Put one in the bank, too.
- ersii 11y ago
  If you are leaving a large asset (money, house, investments, a 500 foot yacht in the Bahamas you never told anyone about) then the person getting it should know before hand. Could you elaborate on why you should tell someone before hand that you're going to leave assets in their name? Is it just common courtesy/manners in your opinion? Or something else? I'm genuinely courageous.
  - smileysteve 11y ago
ascotan 11y ago
Great site. This has given me the inspiration to finally get this done.
nsimpson 11y ago
One of the better pieces of financial advice I ever got from a mentor was: if you have a business or are self employed, get disability insurance. I ended up enrolling in California's Disability Insurance Elective Coverage (DIEC) - http://www.edd.ca.gov/disability/self-employed.htm http://www.edd.ca.gov/disability/self-employed.htm. I wonder if anyone else has gone this route?
courtewing 11y ago
This is great advice all around, but get a local lawyer involved to prepare your will. Even in US, there is not a single set of laws that apply to wills and power of attorney. It varies state by state. With a generic template pulled from the internet, you could just be doing a whole lot of work and ultimately be ending up with a document that has little legal basis. Do your loved ones a favor - hire a lawyer to do it. It's not free, but they'll do the actual paperwork, and you'll get the comfort of knowing it's done right.
- pzxc 11y ago
  There are a few grammatical errors in these documents as well that do not inspire confidence. Also, you better be damn sure that you can trust the person you give power of attorney to -- the document provided here assigns power of attorney immediately, not on incapacitation/death, and allows the person you designate to gift themselves up to $13,000 a year of your own property without your consent. Considering the laws of the 50 states are sometimes very different, and these documents cover a wide range of legal topics, I think you'd have to be an idiot to use these documents without running them by a lawyer in your state, because they might not have the consequences you think they have. Frankly I don't see why the HN crowd would upvote a site like this -- I'd bet it was ring votes that got it to the front page. Or maybe it was just the snarky domain, who knows. www.uslegalforms.com has been around for a long time now, and they at least have state-specific documents. Use them if you're going to use anything without consulting a lawyer. But really, pay a lawyer, it's worth it. I am not a lawyer, this is not legal advice.
  - jrs235 11y ago
    Good advice. I think this got upvoted because it offers a monthly email nudge/reminder and hopefully the site/service will stay on top of future issues related to staying on top of keeping your stuff together. But yeah, talk to a lawyer to ensure state specific issues are properly covered/handled.
    - toomuchtodo 11y ago
      Something I've always wish the Social Security Administration offered was an executor service of sorts. They're the canonical reference if you're dead or not, so upon my death, I could have configured in their web interface: * who to notify, along with documents for each person (personal letters, etc) * who to turn bank accounts over to * a whole long laundry list of other stuff I have to find someone I trust to do if I do sooner than expected What organization is typically entrusted to do this sort of task? I don't mind paying for my loved ones to be secure and guided after my death, I just want an org that I can 1) trust and 2) will be around for 100+ years.
matrix 11y ago
If anyone needs convincing to use this site, read the About Us page. It's a big credit to Chanel Reynolds that she was able to drawn on a tragic experience to help others.
jawns 11y ago
I'm the sole income earner for our household (my wife is at home with our wee ones). I've found that it's a lot easier to plan for my own disability/death than for hers. For instance, I get relatively straightforward short-term and long-term disability insurance through my company. Should I become disabled, I get a percentage of my salary. But because my wife does not work, we've struggled to find a straightforward way to get (reasonably priced) disability insurance for her. I'm assuming that many of you who are either self-employed or are in a household in which one person is not currently working have faced similar challenges. Anybody have any recommendations about how to overcome them?
- chadaustin 11y ago
  There is a spreadsheet included with this book [1] that helps you figure out how much life insurance to get your non-working spouse. We signed up for private term life - it was substantially less expensive than my employer's optional term life plan. Plus it's decoupled from whatever job you happen to hold at the time! [1] http://www.amazon.com/The-Ultimate-Financial-Plan-Balancing/dp/1118073533 http://www.amazon.com/The-Ultimate-Financial-Plan-Balancing/...
- iamthepieman 11y ago
  Get the minimum insurance you will need to take care of your kids and pay any debts that would be hard or impossible to pay if your wife were to become disabled. Anytime you buy insurance you have to be ready to do some math. If you make enough to cover a caregiver (often covered or partially covered under health insurance) for your wife and have a strategy for taking care of your kids then you may not even need it. I'm fortunate enough to live close to both my parents and my wife's parents. Because of this and because we have decent savings we decided against disability and life insurance for her. We are in the process of getting better life insurance for myself but are keeping it as low as possible to cover our debts and living expenses until the children are old enough to go to work in the coal mines.
- __z 11y ago
  Create an account on ssa.gov to estimate your Social Security Disability benefits and Social Security Survivors benefits. Mine are plenty enough for me to live comfortably on but I have a very, very modest lifestyle without any debt. If fact you should create an account on ssa.gov and irs.gov no matter what so nobody else does it for you if your identity is stolen.
jscheel 11y ago
Heading to Egypt with my wife for two weeks while our 2 year old daughter stays at home. Definitely something we've been trying to get together, and I really appreciate someone doing the leg work.
denzquix 11y ago
Memento mori, motherfucker.
tempodox 11y ago
I love this idea. It's highly practical, of good use and deals with life as it is.
teddypop 11y ago
I think there are several out there, the best one I've found for simple will and living wills (and free, no monthly charge bs) is http://www.doyourownwill.com http://www.doyourownwill.com It also has good general advice and a legal forms section..and was fast. pdf and doc. made it easy for us.
teddypop 11y ago
I think there are several out there, the best one I've found for simple will and living wills (and free, no monthly charge bs) is http://www.doyourownwill.com http://www.doyourownwill.com It also has good general advice and a legal forms section..and was fast. pdf and doc. made it easy for us.
trimble-alum 11y ago
Prepaid funerals are way cheaper and far less burdensome on family and friends.
golemotron 11y ago
What they don't mention: * Document -all- of your bank accounts, assets and debts. * Don't die without a will. If you do and you appoint an executor, you are giving them a very dirty job. * Think twice about offshore accounts. They are a nightmare for executors.
- mct 11y ago
  Don't die without a will. If you do and you appoint an executor, you are giving them a very dirty job This is one of the reasons I've been putting off completing a will :-( Is there a good option for going about this without naming an executor?
  - zo1 11y ago
    Certain countries require you by law to appoint an executor to your estate. If you don't, the state steps in and does it for you. Hardly the sort of thing you'd want, especially if you want it done properly. You can appoint lawyers to be executors to your estate, mind you. They take a fee from the total bucket, and make sure everything is done according to your will. Also, as far as I'm aware, appointing them the executor of your estate doesn't mean you give them the money. You entrust them with resolving all the issues with your estate, it's a bit different.
__z 11y ago
I doubt these documents would be worth anything without getting notarized. Among other problems. Getting something notarized runs from free-around $2 so it's hilarious they expect you to track down two impartial witnesses but don't even mention a notary public. If you are familiar with the current pending Supreme Court case DeBoer v. Snyder (which for the Supreme Court was combined with 3 other cases) you'd know in many cases you can't just appoint any guardian for your children upon your death. Basically the facts are: a lesbian couple has 4 children - 2 adopted by one woman and 2 adopted by the other. All children have been raised together as brothers and sisters by both women. No children we ever being raised by only one parent. They found out that they couldn't guarantee that the other parent would keep all 4 children in the event of the death of one parent. Under Michigan law, in their case, the courts would be free to appoint guardianship of the deceased's two children to whomever they choose no matter the paperwork the couple drafted beforehand. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/25/us/one-couples-unanticipated-journey-to-center-of-landmark-gay-rights-case.html http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/25/us/one-couples-unanticipat... >Their close call with the truck that day in 2011 led them to a lawyer, Dana Nessel, who advised them that she could draw up guardianship papers, but that they would be nearly worthless legally. She urged them instead to file a federal lawsuit challenging the adoption law in Michigan.
- tomjen3 11y ago
  Unless you are in the complete bonies you can track down to impartial witness very quickly - your neighbors, or if you know them well their neighbors, etc.
  - wglb 11y ago
    Bonies? Not sure where that is. Perhaps you meant boonies?
- tptacek 11y ago
  The authors doubt that too, which is why "getting documents notarized" is in the checklist.
  - 11y ago
mct 11y ago
Regarding a living will, one I've seen that I really like is Five Wishes (https://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-wishes.php https://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-wishes.php). I have one filled out that I've been procrastinating giving to friends and doctors, which is a mandatory step for having it be an effective document. Thank you to GYST for reminding me I need to take care of this.
pjungwir 11y ago
I'm using this book by Nolo and it's great! Covers the basics plus a lot more and comes with a computer program to generate the documents for you: http://www.amazon.com/Quicken-WillMaker-Plus-2015-Software/dp/1413320732 http://www.amazon.com/Quicken-WillMaker-Plus-2015-Software/d... Nolo is a well-known established company, like LegalZoom for books, and I've also used their stuff for business setup and contracts.
supercanuck 11y ago
Maybe not the place, but where do people buy their cheap term life insurance?
- martin1975 11y ago
  AAA...west coast life.. your work place... etc. Cheap is also very relative - depending on the face amount, you may have to submit to a health examination...
mootothemax 11y ago
My father died in extremely unexpected circumstances, and as much as a will would've been handy (understatement of the year), there are other bits that save heartache and frustrated compromise. For example: - do you want to be buried or cremated? And where? Any thoughts on coffin design? - do you want a church service or something else? What songs, how big, as many details as possible. It's morbid stuff, but by writing it down informally somewhere, you lift the burden from your loved ones having to make unknown "it's what he would have wanted" guesses.
- vtbassmatt 11y ago
  Absolutely +1 to this. My dad also died extremely unexpectedly, and while nothing about the process was easy, having his last wishes known to us was a relief. He and my mom had each prepared a "farewell letter" to the family. My dad's was characteristically brief, poignant, and hilarious - which itself served to make the situation a tiny bit brighter as we could almost imagine him there with us one last time. And in other news, I still owe him a trip into the Great Smoky Mountains to scatter his ashes.
- deleted 11y ago
  [deleted]
- pandler 11y ago
  The one thing I know about my mother's death (won't happen until after she's reached 100 according to her) is that she has expressly forbidden us from having flowers at her funeral. Instead, she prefers we send her flowers while she's still alive so she can actually enjoy them. She also wants her body to be burned in a viking longship out at sea. We'll see how that goes.
- bradleyjg 11y ago
  >> you lift the burden from your loved ones having to make unknown "it's what he would have wanted" guesses. To each his own, but consider that maybe that's not the right question. My paternal grandmother recently died, and my dad sat shiva for her (Jewish mourning ritual). It almost certainly would not have been what she wanted, she was a fierce atheist. But it was what my dad wanted, what comforted him, and he was the one around and mourning, not my grandmother. Just something to consider.
stevewilhelm 11y ago
Another bit of advice, if you have prepared these basic documents, it is a good idea to review them periodically. It is particularly important to review and revise these documents after life changing events: getting married, having children, or when parents or executor becomes elderly, incapacitated, or dies.
- Symbiote 11y ago
  And the step my parents forgot: when your eldest child turns 18, add them as an executor.
signaler 11y ago
Always loved this Twitter account. I use it now and then to remind my followers that my shit is not together https://twitter.com/ismyshittogethr https://twitter.com/ismyshittogethr Also there is no silver bullet for the maze that is life other than all the usual methods that the old masters laid out, like meditation, compassion, empathy, and logos/love/balance
someear 11y ago
some other general advice from my experiences - make sure you handle the case where you go missing. I know I'm drilling down into a bunch of conditional situations (missing for how long? under what circumstances?), but the last thing you want is to do is leave loved ones in situation where they can't get anything done. I had a friend who committed suicide, but his body was never found and since there was no note, he was never officially declared dead. Even though that was years ago, his family still doesn't have access to his assets.
kendallpark 11y ago
How does disability insurance work for students? I am going to be entering medical school. You typically get disability after you graduate, but if something happened in those four years, I could be a hundred thousand in debt with no viable career option as an MD.
- __z 11y ago
  You would have to purchase private disability insurance or private life insurance. Almost every major insurance company offers it.
suelin 11y ago
Equally important to having legal documents is having conversations with your loved ones about your end-of-life preferences--there is a lot of nuance here and the legalese will not always speak for you the way you'd want it to (and won't necessarily cover things like how you want to be remembered, which photo of yourself is your favorite, what you would want to happen to your FB/twitter/Instagram/HN account, etc.). I've been working for years in end-of-life planning and as others have said, a lot of these legal documents are state-by-state so be sure to talk to an attorney and your healthcare providers to make sure you're covered. Apologies for self promotion, but we are building a modern end-of-life planning platform at https://myexitstrategy.co/ https://myexitstrategy.co/ and our first offering will be an easy way to designate health care proxies -- everyone over age 18 should have one!
bigredtech 11y ago
There is a great startup based in New York doing this sort of thing called: Everplans. https://www.everplans.com/ https://www.everplans.com/ They make it easy for you to get organized, find resources for handling the tougher scenarios of life and death. *Not affiliated, just have met their team - all around good people.
dkhenry 11y ago
I can not agree with this advice. There are still a few area's where its worth it to have a trained professional, and their fee's are well worth it. I have a wife and three kids, I will not trust their future to some random page on the internet. I went to a reputable estate lawyer and I didn't just get some documents I started a relationship. That is what I am counting on. Every year I now have a professional that I go to not only review and update my documents, but to get advice for how laws change and what their inpact is to me. Be responsible, don't cut corners.
hind3nburg 11y ago
If this sort of thing is interesting to you and you are a Christian and and a fan of Dave Ramsey like myself then you should check out his Legacy Journey class: https://www.daveramsey.com/legacy https://www.daveramsey.com/legacy We had already gotten our will done before we took it but I still found it to be packed with good information and it motivated us to get more organized.
stevejunior 11y ago
wat the fuk
stevejunior 11y ago
wat the fuk
breischl 11y ago
I've lately been pondering how to handle the passwords piece of this. I use 1Password, which is convenient because I have a handy-dandy database of passwords, but makes it unrealistic that I'll write them all down on paper. So the problem becomes passing along that database and the master password for it. I also want to avoid giving that to anybody before I'm dead, for obvious reasons. My best plan so far is to put the database on a hidden (but public) shared location, and use IfIDie.org to send the link to my inheritors. I would then physically meet with them and give them the password (but not the link). It's kind of awkward, and I don't love it, but seems like it could work even for my relatives of modest technical literacy. I'd be really curious if anyone has a better approach for securely passing important data after you're dead.
- jalons 11y ago
  A safety deposit box with the password to the master database? Sometimes low tech works.
  - breischl 11y ago
    I thought of that, but I don't like it for a few reasons: 1) It's cumbersome to update. I don't want to run to the bank, get the thumbdrive, update it, and take it back every time I change a password. 2) Everyone has to know that I have the box, know where it is, and know where to get the key. 3) The key could get lost or destroyed. For example, if someone slings an especially effective curse at me and I literally die in a (house) fire. You can keep the safe deposit key in a safe... but now you have to store the key for that safe, or the combination. 4) Even if they have the key, the bank still might not let my next-of-kin into the box. The bank keeps a list of who is allowed in and their signatures. You'll have to physically take every person who needs access down to the bank and add them. It's one more chore, particularly because my family lives in other states and rarely comes here to visit (we all go back to the parents' house instead). In theory a death certificate and some other documentation can overcome that, but it's going to be time consuming and annoying, during a time when they don't need one more damn thing. I'm also not sure how access is handled in case of incapacity but not death (ie, coma, sick in a foreign country, kidnapped, whatever).
knicholes 11y ago
This makes me want a service that allows me to send letters to people upon my death/capture (or text messages or whatever) so if I don't unmark a flag after x days/months/years it sends out that information. Sort of like, "If you're watching this, I must be dead," or, "PS I Love You," kind of thing.
- dbarlett 11y ago
  https://www.deadmansswitch.net/ https://www.deadmansswitch.net/
- SomewhatLikely 11y ago
  Google has an inactive account manager that basically does this: https://www.google.com/settings/u/0/account/inactive https://www.google.com/settings/u/0/account/inactive
- breischl 11y ago
  http://ifidie.org/ http://ifidie.org/
shockzzz 11y ago
I'm basically lost in life without a constant reminder of my impending doom.
- hoprocker 11y ago
  Vita brevis, amigo.
woodrowlevin 11y ago
This a good site, and can help to guide you. Probably even give you templates to store your info in, but what about sharing? Check out my company www.estateassist.com (Estate Assist) which is much more focused on being a Digital Safe Deposit box to protect and share financial and digital assets with trusted recipients.
thomasjudge 11y ago
Living wills and advance directives are a good starting point but they may not be enough. If one is potentially near end-of-life and is serious about DNR-type wishes, it behooves one to get something like a DNR bracelet and/or a POLST document posted on your fridge, so there are no misunderstandings with first responders. There have been a couple NYT articles about this recently. As others have echoed, get the information specific to your state. http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/04/29/the-right-paperwork-for-your-end-of-life-wishes/ http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/04/29/the-right-pa... http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/17/health/the-trouble-with-advance-directives.html http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/17/health/the-trouble-with-ad...
- taurath 11y ago
  I'm not sure whether I'd consider it morbid and sad or helpful to constantly wear a bracelet reminding myself that I'm going to die and might at any point in time become hopelessly disabled.
  - Disruptive_Dave 11y ago
    The buddhist in me (he's in there somewhere) tells me it could be quite liberating.
- tgeek 11y ago
  I've always wondered why this type of information hasn't been attached to a driver's license much like organ donorship is in many states. Seems like a prime system to keep such a thing organized and available.
galfarragem 11y ago
I like the content (idea) but I wonder if it was just me that didn't like the chosen words, there isn't any mention to the grieving process, making everything sound too cold and materialistic: In 2009 my husband was killed in an accident. In the following hours, weeks, and months I was shocked by the number of things we had left disorganized or ignored.
- lkrubner 11y ago
  This is a subject where it is often difficult to break through to people. Everyone fears death, and most of us live with a kind of denial about the fact that we will die. There are different tactics that can be used to try to get past the denial. Stating things bluntly is a worthwhile tactic. Merely mentioning facts is another possible tactic, but you run into the problem that people would prefer to screen out any information about such a painful topic. This a subject where shock tactics can be justified, if they manage to get people to think about the fact that, yes, they will die someday.
lh7777 11y ago
> Making a will is critical for everyone. Not having a will is frankly not an option, you know this. I keep hearing this, but I don't believe it. No kids, no assets of any significance, and my state's intestacy laws are fine by me for what there is. Of course, I'll revisit when my situation changes but I just can't see why making and maintaining a will needs to be a high priority for me.
- __z 11y ago
  My grandma didn't need a will. My mom was on her checking account (because my mom took care of a lot of her finances) so my mom automatically got all of her money in the world - $900. The only other thing she owned was her house. Her will said it was to be sold and the money split between her children. Exactly zero of her children were interested in the house, selling the house, living in the house, or anything to do with the house. So the house was abandoned along with all the stuff in her house. My grandma knew that would happen (the house was literally falling apart - if code enforcement saw it then it would be condemned) but she made a will because she was "supposed" to.
- deleted 11y ago
  [deleted]
bhartzer 11y ago
Definitely good advice. Need to get my will done, this has inspired me.
gavanwoolery 11y ago
My recommendation to anyone who does not want to leave their loved ones empty-handed is to get life insurance. Depends where you shop, but for about $10/month you can get $100k in life insurance - not a huge amount but probably enough to cover any debts you might have, cover the cost of your funeral, and more. For about $30/month (if you are ~30 years old and relatively healthy), you can get $500k in life insurance. The other good thing about setting this up is that your insurance agency will usually help you get your other items in order like your will, your trust, who will be your guardian(s) if you have children, etc. It might seem premature to get life insurance young, but I have had friends in their 20s and 30s who have died or had near-death experiences.
switch007 11y ago
It is a lot of work being an executor. Even more stressful if someone challenges the will. I was recently involved (as a beneficiary) in an estate where someone challenged the will, and I'm glad the solicitor was the executor and not me! I know someone who is a beneficiary and an executor of an estate currently nearly £10,000 in debt countering a challenge of a will (as the beneficiary, not the executor, however).
aaron695 11y ago
There is nothing more stupid than doing a will or getting life insurance. The other advice is worth thinking about. There is no imaginary place in the sky where you can look down after your death and see people happy because you left them money or less stress. Live life for the present and future. Not for the nothing. Sure, game theory might throw a spanner in the works for the now and future- - Your partner having a will / life insurance might be important, so you have to get one for quid quo pro. - You might be stuck being stupid and it'll help you relax. Humans are weird. - Stupid people might judge you or smart people might sham you (Since wills probably benefit society) But this crutch we can get, that in death my kids and wife will be happy, a false safety valve, can be more destructive to your life than the reasons above.
- vivekian2 11y ago
  Really? Making sure that the financial needs of your loved ones are met if you do depart in a sudden manner, is the most selfless thing you can do. It has nothing to do about making you feel happy, it has everything to do with being pragmatic so that they have one less thing to worry about.
  - aaron695 11y ago
    Not dying and living life is both selfish and (one hopes) better for your loved ones. But that's hard. It means you have to be healthy. Reduce stress. Spend quality time with people. Filling out a will is an easy escape. Doing the best for yourself and loved ones is hard. The second half of the article touches on this.
- cwp 11y ago
  WTF? I can't believe this is the top comment. I don't believe in life after death, but I do believe that the world will continue to exist after I die. And in that world, chances are good that my wife and kid will still be alive, but I will not be earning money to support them. Planning for that scenario is not stupid at all. It has nothing to do with how I or anyone else will feel, unless you count "hungry" as a feeling.
- the_watcher 11y ago
akshatpradhan 11y ago
This needs to be turned into a WebApp. A place where you can edit, update, retrieve, and share these vital records.
deleted 11y ago
[deleted]
beat 11y ago
A little over a week ago, I had a Branch Vein Retinal Occlusion - basically, a stroke in my retina. I cannot read with my right eye now, and that may or may not heal. This makes me think, a lot. First, it could have been an inch back in my head, and I might not be here to talk about it at all. Or I could be hospitalized for an extended time, or a vegetable, or permanently unable to work. Second, there's about a one in six chance it will happen again. If that happens, I could lose my other eye, and my ability to read - thus ending my career. I'd also lose driving and any number of other things I enjoy. Is my shit together? No. I just assume my assets go to my wife, and she can share out what she feels should be shared out with our now-adult children, friends, and my (distant) family.
- benmanns 11y ago
  What happens to your wife if instead of killing you, the stroke leaves you disabled, unable to work, and needing full-time care?
  - beat 11y ago
    I have long-term disability, and Social Security would kick in. Other than that...
renox 11y ago
A will? My father died recently and he did not make a will and it would have been quite useless, but we're a very simple family: no divorce, and none of us are poor.. So YMMV.
theRhino 11y ago
this is very good - sensible stuff, details will vary but this is a very useful start - everybody should do something along these lines, obviously tailored towards there own personal circumstances
ujjwal_wadhawan 11y ago
With so many passwords, my will shall be a book. I use Lastpass and will prefer to give the master password :) The thing that bothers me are the auto renew settings on my subscriptions. One (any probably only) way to stop them is to cancel the cards they are on. For e.g: Dropbox/ Amazon s3 will charge me for my hosted data for eternity.

635 points by Red_Tarsius 11y ago

Thanks for the reminder.

This site is great! My wife and I were just discussing how we needed to get a living will/will written down so our wishes are clearly understood in the case of an emergency.

thehoff 11y ago

I ran across this site the other day as well as my wife and I were discussing that with a kid now we should get wills.

codeulike 11y ago

Great idea! One thing though - this is presumably USA specific but nowhere does it actually spell that out, which could be confusing/timewasting for any brits or aussies who want to get their shit together. E.g a UK will has completely different wording to a USA will.

tempodox 11y ago
this is presumably USA specific but nowhere does it actually spell that out We humans have a hard time remembering that anything we communicate has _a lot_ of implicit context. On the Internet, this becomes especially conspicuous because our communications quickly escape the realm where that implicit context is known & valid. Up to now, the way to deal with that seems to be EULAs written in Legalese.

rcarrigan87 11y ago

It's a morbid subject, but working in home health care I'm shocked by how many people are totally unprepared when it comes to end of life planning. And it's not just relatively young people or unexpected deaths. Many senior citizens with decent sized estates are totally unprepared or just assume their family will figure it out. You pass on a lot of additional stress and hardship to your loved ones by not being prepared. I love the site title btw.

cortesoft 11y ago
There was a great Planet Money episode on this topic: http://www.npr.org/sections/money/2014/03/05/286126451/living-wills-are-the-talk-of-the-town-in-la-crosse-wis http://www.npr.org/sections/money/2014/03/05/286126451/livin...
brc 11y ago
True. I had a relative pass a few years back from cancer. It wasn't sudden at all. The relative worked in the financial services industry and had provided me advice about estate planning. When it came to the estate things were not prepared at all. If fact it was a bit of a mess. I guess it's the case of builders living in unfinished houses and that.

lfender6445 11y ago

Can you imagine being in a vegetative state and not having legal means to end your life or have someone pull the plug? I need to get my shit together.

jh37 11y ago

I actually JUST completed my will on doyourownwill for free. Pdf and word doc. http://www.doyourownwill.com http://www.doyourownwill.com

deleted 11y ago

[deleted]

iamthepieman 11y ago

I didn't see this covered under the will section but do talk to important people in your life while you are making your will. Nothing in your will should be a surprise to those that are involved in your estate after you die. If you are leaving a large asset (money, house, investments, a 500 foot yacht in the Bahamas you never told anyone about) then the person getting it should know before hand. If you have kids you need to discuss what happens to them, who takes care of them etc. This is a careful balance of the burden you put on family and friends and the well being of you children with the balance favoring your kids. The most important thing is that you have these discussions and then document them in a will. Do not just fill out an online form, have it notarized and filed in a safe deposit box to be unearthed when you meet your end, timely or otherwise. The process of creating a will like this can be a catalyst to re-prioritize your life and what is important to you and your family. But of course, it doesn't have to be. As this site mentions, get your shit together! It's better to have a boilerplate will squirreled away somewhere that no one but your lawyer knows about than none at all.

cafard 11y ago
When we made a will, the person who had advised us to do so said, "And don't put it in a safe-deposit box. It will greatly delay the availability if you die suddenly.
- kansface 11y ago
  Put one in the bank, too.
ersii 11y ago
If you are leaving a large asset (money, house, investments, a 500 foot yacht in the Bahamas you never told anyone about) then the person getting it should know before hand. Could you elaborate on why you should tell someone before hand that you're going to leave assets in their name? Is it just common courtesy/manners in your opinion? Or something else? I'm genuinely courageous.
- smileysteve 11y ago

ascotan 11y ago

Great site. This has given me the inspiration to finally get this done.

nsimpson 11y ago

One of the better pieces of financial advice I ever got from a mentor was: if you have a business or are self employed, get disability insurance. I ended up enrolling in California's Disability Insurance Elective Coverage (DIEC) - http://www.edd.ca.gov/disability/self-employed.htm http://www.edd.ca.gov/disability/self-employed.htm. I wonder if anyone else has gone this route?

courtewing 11y ago

This is great advice all around, but get a local lawyer involved to prepare your will. Even in US, there is not a single set of laws that apply to wills and power of attorney. It varies state by state. With a generic template pulled from the internet, you could just be doing a whole lot of work and ultimately be ending up with a document that has little legal basis. Do your loved ones a favor - hire a lawyer to do it. It's not free, but they'll do the actual paperwork, and you'll get the comfort of knowing it's done right.

pzxc 11y ago
There are a few grammatical errors in these documents as well that do not inspire confidence. Also, you better be damn sure that you can trust the person you give power of attorney to -- the document provided here assigns power of attorney immediately, not on incapacitation/death, and allows the person you designate to gift themselves up to $13,000 a year of your own property without your consent. Considering the laws of the 50 states are sometimes very different, and these documents cover a wide range of legal topics, I think you'd have to be an idiot to use these documents without running them by a lawyer in your state, because they might not have the consequences you think they have. Frankly I don't see why the HN crowd would upvote a site like this -- I'd bet it was ring votes that got it to the front page. Or maybe it was just the snarky domain, who knows. www.uslegalforms.com has been around for a long time now, and they at least have state-specific documents. Use them if you're going to use anything without consulting a lawyer. But really, pay a lawyer, it's worth it. I am not a lawyer, this is not legal advice.
- jrs235 11y ago
  Good advice. I think this got upvoted because it offers a monthly email nudge/reminder and hopefully the site/service will stay on top of future issues related to staying on top of keeping your stuff together. But yeah, talk to a lawyer to ensure state specific issues are properly covered/handled.
  - toomuchtodo 11y ago
    Something I've always wish the Social Security Administration offered was an executor service of sorts. They're the canonical reference if you're dead or not, so upon my death, I could have configured in their web interface: * who to notify, along with documents for each person (personal letters, etc) * who to turn bank accounts over to * a whole long laundry list of other stuff I have to find someone I trust to do if I do sooner than expected What organization is typically entrusted to do this sort of task? I don't mind paying for my loved ones to be secure and guided after my death, I just want an org that I can 1) trust and 2) will be around for 100+ years.

matrix 11y ago

If anyone needs convincing to use this site, read the About Us page. It's a big credit to Chanel Reynolds that she was able to drawn on a tragic experience to help others.

jawns 11y ago

I'm the sole income earner for our household (my wife is at home with our wee ones). I've found that it's a lot easier to plan for my own disability/death than for hers. For instance, I get relatively straightforward short-term and long-term disability insurance through my company. Should I become disabled, I get a percentage of my salary. But because my wife does not work, we've struggled to find a straightforward way to get (reasonably priced) disability insurance for her. I'm assuming that many of you who are either self-employed or are in a household in which one person is not currently working have faced similar challenges. Anybody have any recommendations about how to overcome them?

chadaustin 11y ago
There is a spreadsheet included with this book [1] that helps you figure out how much life insurance to get your non-working spouse. We signed up for private term life - it was substantially less expensive than my employer's optional term life plan. Plus it's decoupled from whatever job you happen to hold at the time! [1] http://www.amazon.com/The-Ultimate-Financial-Plan-Balancing/dp/1118073533 http://www.amazon.com/The-Ultimate-Financial-Plan-Balancing/...
iamthepieman 11y ago
Get the minimum insurance you will need to take care of your kids and pay any debts that would be hard or impossible to pay if your wife were to become disabled. Anytime you buy insurance you have to be ready to do some math. If you make enough to cover a caregiver (often covered or partially covered under health insurance) for your wife and have a strategy for taking care of your kids then you may not even need it. I'm fortunate enough to live close to both my parents and my wife's parents. Because of this and because we have decent savings we decided against disability and life insurance for her. We are in the process of getting better life insurance for myself but are keeping it as low as possible to cover our debts and living expenses until the children are old enough to go to work in the coal mines.
__z 11y ago
Create an account on ssa.gov to estimate your Social Security Disability benefits and Social Security Survivors benefits. Mine are plenty enough for me to live comfortably on but I have a very, very modest lifestyle without any debt. If fact you should create an account on ssa.gov and irs.gov no matter what so nobody else does it for you if your identity is stolen.

jscheel 11y ago

Heading to Egypt with my wife for two weeks while our 2 year old daughter stays at home. Definitely something we've been trying to get together, and I really appreciate someone doing the leg work.

denzquix 11y ago

Memento mori, motherfucker.

tempodox 11y ago

I love this idea. It's highly practical, of good use and deals with life as it is.

teddypop 11y ago

I think there are several out there, the best one I've found for simple will and living wills (and free, no monthly charge bs) is http://www.doyourownwill.com http://www.doyourownwill.com It also has good general advice and a legal forms section..and was fast. pdf and doc. made it easy for us.

teddypop 11y ago

trimble-alum 11y ago

Prepaid funerals are way cheaper and far less burdensome on family and friends.

golemotron 11y ago

What they don't mention: * Document -all- of your bank accounts, assets and debts. * Don't die without a will. If you do and you appoint an executor, you are giving them a very dirty job. * Think twice about offshore accounts. They are a nightmare for executors.

mct 11y ago
Don't die without a will. If you do and you appoint an executor, you are giving them a very dirty job This is one of the reasons I've been putting off completing a will :-( Is there a good option for going about this without naming an executor?
- zo1 11y ago
  Certain countries require you by law to appoint an executor to your estate. If you don't, the state steps in and does it for you. Hardly the sort of thing you'd want, especially if you want it done properly. You can appoint lawyers to be executors to your estate, mind you. They take a fee from the total bucket, and make sure everything is done according to your will. Also, as far as I'm aware, appointing them the executor of your estate doesn't mean you give them the money. You entrust them with resolving all the issues with your estate, it's a bit different.

__z 11y ago

I doubt these documents would be worth anything without getting notarized. Among other problems. Getting something notarized runs from free-around $2 so it's hilarious they expect you to track down two impartial witnesses but don't even mention a notary public. If you are familiar with the current pending Supreme Court case DeBoer v. Snyder (which for the Supreme Court was combined with 3 other cases) you'd know in many cases you can't just appoint any guardian for your children upon your death. Basically the facts are: a lesbian couple has 4 children - 2 adopted by one woman and 2 adopted by the other. All children have been raised together as brothers and sisters by both women. No children we ever being raised by only one parent. They found out that they couldn't guarantee that the other parent would keep all 4 children in the event of the death of one parent. Under Michigan law, in their case, the courts would be free to appoint guardianship of the deceased's two children to whomever they choose no matter the paperwork the couple drafted beforehand. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/25/us/one-couples-unanticipated-journey-to-center-of-landmark-gay-rights-case.html http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/25/us/one-couples-unanticipat... >Their close call with the truck that day in 2011 led them to a lawyer, Dana Nessel, who advised them that she could draw up guardianship papers, but that they would be nearly worthless legally. She urged them instead to file a federal lawsuit challenging the adoption law in Michigan.

tomjen3 11y ago
Unless you are in the complete bonies you can track down to impartial witness very quickly - your neighbors, or if you know them well their neighbors, etc.
- wglb 11y ago
  Bonies? Not sure where that is. Perhaps you meant boonies?
tptacek 11y ago
The authors doubt that too, which is why "getting documents notarized" is in the checklist.
- 11y ago

mct 11y ago

Regarding a living will, one I've seen that I really like is Five Wishes (https://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-wishes.php https://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-wishes.php). I have one filled out that I've been procrastinating giving to friends and doctors, which is a mandatory step for having it be an effective document. Thank you to GYST for reminding me I need to take care of this.

pjungwir 11y ago

I'm using this book by Nolo and it's great! Covers the basics plus a lot more and comes with a computer program to generate the documents for you: http://www.amazon.com/Quicken-WillMaker-Plus-2015-Software/dp/1413320732 http://www.amazon.com/Quicken-WillMaker-Plus-2015-Software/d... Nolo is a well-known established company, like LegalZoom for books, and I've also used their stuff for business setup and contracts.

supercanuck 11y ago

Maybe not the place, but where do people buy their cheap term life insurance?

martin1975 11y ago
AAA...west coast life.. your work place... etc. Cheap is also very relative - depending on the face amount, you may have to submit to a health examination...

mootothemax 11y ago

My father died in extremely unexpected circumstances, and as much as a will would've been handy (understatement of the year), there are other bits that save heartache and frustrated compromise. For example: - do you want to be buried or cremated? And where? Any thoughts on coffin design? - do you want a church service or something else? What songs, how big, as many details as possible. It's morbid stuff, but by writing it down informally somewhere, you lift the burden from your loved ones having to make unknown "it's what he would have wanted" guesses.

vtbassmatt 11y ago
Absolutely +1 to this. My dad also died extremely unexpectedly, and while nothing about the process was easy, having his last wishes known to us was a relief. He and my mom had each prepared a "farewell letter" to the family. My dad's was characteristically brief, poignant, and hilarious - which itself served to make the situation a tiny bit brighter as we could almost imagine him there with us one last time. And in other news, I still owe him a trip into the Great Smoky Mountains to scatter his ashes.
deleted 11y ago
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pandler 11y ago
The one thing I know about my mother's death (won't happen until after she's reached 100 according to her) is that she has expressly forbidden us from having flowers at her funeral. Instead, she prefers we send her flowers while she's still alive so she can actually enjoy them. She also wants her body to be burned in a viking longship out at sea. We'll see how that goes.
bradleyjg 11y ago
>> you lift the burden from your loved ones having to make unknown "it's what he would have wanted" guesses. To each his own, but consider that maybe that's not the right question. My paternal grandmother recently died, and my dad sat shiva for her (Jewish mourning ritual). It almost certainly would not have been what she wanted, she was a fierce atheist. But it was what my dad wanted, what comforted him, and he was the one around and mourning, not my grandmother. Just something to consider.

stevewilhelm 11y ago

Another bit of advice, if you have prepared these basic documents, it is a good idea to review them periodically. It is particularly important to review and revise these documents after life changing events: getting married, having children, or when parents or executor becomes elderly, incapacitated, or dies.

Symbiote 11y ago
And the step my parents forgot: when your eldest child turns 18, add them as an executor.

signaler 11y ago

Always loved this Twitter account. I use it now and then to remind my followers that my shit is not together https://twitter.com/ismyshittogethr https://twitter.com/ismyshittogethr Also there is no silver bullet for the maze that is life other than all the usual methods that the old masters laid out, like meditation, compassion, empathy, and logos/love/balance

someear 11y ago

some other general advice from my experiences - make sure you handle the case where you go missing. I know I'm drilling down into a bunch of conditional situations (missing for how long? under what circumstances?), but the last thing you want is to do is leave loved ones in situation where they can't get anything done. I had a friend who committed suicide, but his body was never found and since there was no note, he was never officially declared dead. Even though that was years ago, his family still doesn't have access to his assets.

kendallpark 11y ago

How does disability insurance work for students? I am going to be entering medical school. You typically get disability after you graduate, but if something happened in those four years, I could be a hundred thousand in debt with no viable career option as an MD.

__z 11y ago
You would have to purchase private disability insurance or private life insurance. Almost every major insurance company offers it.

suelin 11y ago

Equally important to having legal documents is having conversations with your loved ones about your end-of-life preferences--there is a lot of nuance here and the legalese will not always speak for you the way you'd want it to (and won't necessarily cover things like how you want to be remembered, which photo of yourself is your favorite, what you would want to happen to your FB/twitter/Instagram/HN account, etc.). I've been working for years in end-of-life planning and as others have said, a lot of these legal documents are state-by-state so be sure to talk to an attorney and your healthcare providers to make sure you're covered. Apologies for self promotion, but we are building a modern end-of-life planning platform at https://myexitstrategy.co/ https://myexitstrategy.co/ and our first offering will be an easy way to designate health care proxies -- everyone over age 18 should have one!

bigredtech 11y ago

There is a great startup based in New York doing this sort of thing called: Everplans. https://www.everplans.com/ https://www.everplans.com/ They make it easy for you to get organized, find resources for handling the tougher scenarios of life and death. *Not affiliated, just have met their team - all around good people.

dkhenry 11y ago

I can not agree with this advice. There are still a few area's where its worth it to have a trained professional, and their fee's are well worth it. I have a wife and three kids, I will not trust their future to some random page on the internet. I went to a reputable estate lawyer and I didn't just get some documents I started a relationship. That is what I am counting on. Every year I now have a professional that I go to not only review and update my documents, but to get advice for how laws change and what their inpact is to me. Be responsible, don't cut corners.

hind3nburg 11y ago

If this sort of thing is interesting to you and you are a Christian and and a fan of Dave Ramsey like myself then you should check out his Legacy Journey class: https://www.daveramsey.com/legacy https://www.daveramsey.com/legacy We had already gotten our will done before we took it but I still found it to be packed with good information and it motivated us to get more organized.

stevejunior 11y ago

wat the fuk

stevejunior 11y ago

wat the fuk

breischl 11y ago

I've lately been pondering how to handle the passwords piece of this. I use 1Password, which is convenient because I have a handy-dandy database of passwords, but makes it unrealistic that I'll write them all down on paper. So the problem becomes passing along that database and the master password for it. I also want to avoid giving that to anybody before I'm dead, for obvious reasons. My best plan so far is to put the database on a hidden (but public) shared location, and use IfIDie.org to send the link to my inheritors. I would then physically meet with them and give them the password (but not the link). It's kind of awkward, and I don't love it, but seems like it could work even for my relatives of modest technical literacy. I'd be really curious if anyone has a better approach for securely passing important data after you're dead.

jalons 11y ago
A safety deposit box with the password to the master database? Sometimes low tech works.
- breischl 11y ago
  I thought of that, but I don't like it for a few reasons: 1) It's cumbersome to update. I don't want to run to the bank, get the thumbdrive, update it, and take it back every time I change a password. 2) Everyone has to know that I have the box, know where it is, and know where to get the key. 3) The key could get lost or destroyed. For example, if someone slings an especially effective curse at me and I literally die in a (house) fire. You can keep the safe deposit key in a safe... but now you have to store the key for that safe, or the combination. 4) Even if they have the key, the bank still might not let my next-of-kin into the box. The bank keeps a list of who is allowed in and their signatures. You'll have to physically take every person who needs access down to the bank and add them. It's one more chore, particularly because my family lives in other states and rarely comes here to visit (we all go back to the parents' house instead). In theory a death certificate and some other documentation can overcome that, but it's going to be time consuming and annoying, during a time when they don't need one more damn thing. I'm also not sure how access is handled in case of incapacity but not death (ie, coma, sick in a foreign country, kidnapped, whatever).

knicholes 11y ago

This makes me want a service that allows me to send letters to people upon my death/capture (or text messages or whatever) so if I don't unmark a flag after x days/months/years it sends out that information. Sort of like, "If you're watching this, I must be dead," or, "PS I Love You," kind of thing.

dbarlett 11y ago
https://www.deadmansswitch.net/ https://www.deadmansswitch.net/
SomewhatLikely 11y ago
Google has an inactive account manager that basically does this: https://www.google.com/settings/u/0/account/inactive https://www.google.com/settings/u/0/account/inactive
breischl 11y ago
http://ifidie.org/ http://ifidie.org/

shockzzz 11y ago

I'm basically lost in life without a constant reminder of my impending doom.

hoprocker 11y ago
Vita brevis, amigo.

woodrowlevin 11y ago

This a good site, and can help to guide you. Probably even give you templates to store your info in, but what about sharing? Check out my company www.estateassist.com (Estate Assist) which is much more focused on being a Digital Safe Deposit box to protect and share financial and digital assets with trusted recipients.

thomasjudge 11y ago

Living wills and advance directives are a good starting point but they may not be enough. If one is potentially near end-of-life and is serious about DNR-type wishes, it behooves one to get something like a DNR bracelet and/or a POLST document posted on your fridge, so there are no misunderstandings with first responders. There have been a couple NYT articles about this recently. As others have echoed, get the information specific to your state. http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/04/29/the-right-paperwork-for-your-end-of-life-wishes/ http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/04/29/the-right-pa... http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/17/health/the-trouble-with-advance-directives.html http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/17/health/the-trouble-with-ad...

taurath 11y ago
I'm not sure whether I'd consider it morbid and sad or helpful to constantly wear a bracelet reminding myself that I'm going to die and might at any point in time become hopelessly disabled.
- Disruptive_Dave 11y ago
  The buddhist in me (he's in there somewhere) tells me it could be quite liberating.
tgeek 11y ago
I've always wondered why this type of information hasn't been attached to a driver's license much like organ donorship is in many states. Seems like a prime system to keep such a thing organized and available.

galfarragem 11y ago

I like the content (idea) but I wonder if it was just me that didn't like the chosen words, there isn't any mention to the grieving process, making everything sound too cold and materialistic: In 2009 my husband was killed in an accident. In the following hours, weeks, and months I was shocked by the number of things we had left disorganized or ignored.

lkrubner 11y ago
This is a subject where it is often difficult to break through to people. Everyone fears death, and most of us live with a kind of denial about the fact that we will die. There are different tactics that can be used to try to get past the denial. Stating things bluntly is a worthwhile tactic. Merely mentioning facts is another possible tactic, but you run into the problem that people would prefer to screen out any information about such a painful topic. This a subject where shock tactics can be justified, if they manage to get people to think about the fact that, yes, they will die someday.

lh7777 11y ago

> Making a will is critical for everyone. Not having a will is frankly not an option, you know this. I keep hearing this, but I don't believe it. No kids, no assets of any significance, and my state's intestacy laws are fine by me for what there is. Of course, I'll revisit when my situation changes but I just can't see why making and maintaining a will needs to be a high priority for me.

__z 11y ago
My grandma didn't need a will. My mom was on her checking account (because my mom took care of a lot of her finances) so my mom automatically got all of her money in the world - $900. The only other thing she owned was her house. Her will said it was to be sold and the money split between her children. Exactly zero of her children were interested in the house, selling the house, living in the house, or anything to do with the house. So the house was abandoned along with all the stuff in her house. My grandma knew that would happen (the house was literally falling apart - if code enforcement saw it then it would be condemned) but she made a will because she was "supposed" to.
deleted 11y ago
[deleted]

bhartzer 11y ago

Definitely good advice. Need to get my will done, this has inspired me.

gavanwoolery 11y ago

My recommendation to anyone who does not want to leave their loved ones empty-handed is to get life insurance. Depends where you shop, but for about $10/month you can get $100k in life insurance - not a huge amount but probably enough to cover any debts you might have, cover the cost of your funeral, and more. For about $30/month (if you are ~30 years old and relatively healthy), you can get $500k in life insurance. The other good thing about setting this up is that your insurance agency will usually help you get your other items in order like your will, your trust, who will be your guardian(s) if you have children, etc. It might seem premature to get life insurance young, but I have had friends in their 20s and 30s who have died or had near-death experiences.

switch007 11y ago

It is a lot of work being an executor. Even more stressful if someone challenges the will. I was recently involved (as a beneficiary) in an estate where someone challenged the will, and I'm glad the solicitor was the executor and not me! I know someone who is a beneficiary and an executor of an estate currently nearly £10,000 in debt countering a challenge of a will (as the beneficiary, not the executor, however).

aaron695 11y ago

There is nothing more stupid than doing a will or getting life insurance. The other advice is worth thinking about. There is no imaginary place in the sky where you can look down after your death and see people happy because you left them money or less stress. Live life for the present and future. Not for the nothing. Sure, game theory might throw a spanner in the works for the now and future- - Your partner having a will / life insurance might be important, so you have to get one for quid quo pro. - You might be stuck being stupid and it'll help you relax. Humans are weird. - Stupid people might judge you or smart people might sham you (Since wills probably benefit society) But this crutch we can get, that in death my kids and wife will be happy, a false safety valve, can be more destructive to your life than the reasons above.

vivekian2 11y ago
Really? Making sure that the financial needs of your loved ones are met if you do depart in a sudden manner, is the most selfless thing you can do. It has nothing to do about making you feel happy, it has everything to do with being pragmatic so that they have one less thing to worry about.
- aaron695 11y ago
  Not dying and living life is both selfish and (one hopes) better for your loved ones. But that's hard. It means you have to be healthy. Reduce stress. Spend quality time with people. Filling out a will is an easy escape. Doing the best for yourself and loved ones is hard. The second half of the article touches on this.
cwp 11y ago
WTF? I can't believe this is the top comment. I don't believe in life after death, but I do believe that the world will continue to exist after I die. And in that world, chances are good that my wife and kid will still be alive, but I will not be earning money to support them. Planning for that scenario is not stupid at all. It has nothing to do with how I or anyone else will feel, unless you count "hungry" as a feeling.
the_watcher 11y ago

akshatpradhan 11y ago

This needs to be turned into a WebApp. A place where you can edit, update, retrieve, and share these vital records.

deleted 11y ago

[deleted]

beat 11y ago

A little over a week ago, I had a Branch Vein Retinal Occlusion - basically, a stroke in my retina. I cannot read with my right eye now, and that may or may not heal. This makes me think, a lot. First, it could have been an inch back in my head, and I might not be here to talk about it at all. Or I could be hospitalized for an extended time, or a vegetable, or permanently unable to work. Second, there's about a one in six chance it will happen again. If that happens, I could lose my other eye, and my ability to read - thus ending my career. I'd also lose driving and any number of other things I enjoy. Is my shit together? No. I just assume my assets go to my wife, and she can share out what she feels should be shared out with our now-adult children, friends, and my (distant) family.

benmanns 11y ago
What happens to your wife if instead of killing you, the stroke leaves you disabled, unable to work, and needing full-time care?
- beat 11y ago
  I have long-term disability, and Social Security would kick in. Other than that...

renox 11y ago

A will? My father died recently and he did not make a will and it would have been quite useless, but we're a very simple family: no divorce, and none of us are poor.. So YMMV.

theRhino 11y ago

this is very good - sensible stuff, details will vary but this is a very useful start - everybody should do something along these lines, obviously tailored towards there own personal circumstances

ujjwal_wadhawan 11y ago

With so many passwords, my will shall be a book. I use Lastpass and will prefer to give the master password :) The thing that bothers me are the auto renew settings on my subscriptions. One (any probably only) way to stop them is to cancel the cards they are on. For e.g: Dropbox/ Amazon s3 will charge me for my hosted data for eternity.