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I find it curious that what strikes me as the real reason for feeling depressed - his inability to handle anxiety and reliance on medication for it, was not the

I find it curious that what strikes me as the real reason for feeling depressed - his inability to handle anxiety and reliance on medication for it, was not the first paragraph, with multiple exclamation marks around it. THAT was the problem that got fixed as far as I can tell. There was also shame, feeling of inadequacy, etc but the real issue here seems to be that once you can handle a debilitating level of anxiety, you feel empowered to go out and live life and try things. That's what so many of these depression or suicide articles/ideas seem to be missing - there is usually some debilitating condition that the person is keeping quiet about, that's contributing to the downward spiral and until that gets fixed, nothing is going to work out. The debilitating problems range from individual to individual, so how can one silver bullet be found for being suicidal or being depressed? It varies. The issue as I see it in a lot of cases, is one of not being open enough about the root of the problem with yourself and others. Sometimes they don't even really know! (Usually younger people) I have met a number of people who have depression and it's usually the same story - being very defensive about whatever the root cause might be and if you probe them, they'll clamp up. It's almost like it hurts too much to admit that you are not ok. That's where there's such enormous amounts of shame - if you've lived with a problem for a dozen years and haven't fixed it, that'll get most people down, no doubt about it. So yeah, on one hand there's definitely stigma attached to depression and being suicidal but on the other, by treating it as some unicorn of a problem, we are not helping anybody. I think an assumption that there's a root problem that once tackled, will yield massive returns, would go a long way. Coupled with recognizing that most people feel almost insurmountable amounts of pressure at one point or another and find/having people who are understanding and constructively supportive beyond 'everything's gonna be ok' is paramount.

DanBC 11y ago
> I have met a number of people who have depression and it's usually the same story - being very defensive about whatever the root cause might be and if you probe them, they'll clamp up. It's almost like it hurts too much to admit that you are not ok. There often isn't a root cause for depression. Asking people why they're depressed can feel like you're judging them - "What have you got to be depressed about?"
- alexashka 11y ago
  The previous paragraph makes a note on that: "The issue as I see it in a lot of cases, is one of not being open enough about the root of the problem with yourself and others. Sometimes they don't even really know! (Usually younger people)" If you genuinely don't know, then you need to figure that out, asap. That's what happened to me pretty early on in life, I actually went to my parents one day and musingly said 'I am not happy, I don't know why'. Acknowledging that there genuinely was a problem, was an important step, because then I read all sorts of books and at least did surface level things like 'being more positive' - gleamed from that famous Dale Carnegie book. It didn't do anything overnight but it got me to open my mind to a wide array of ideas I hadn't considered before - some of them counter-productive, others quite good. To think that there isn't a root for depression is to basically admit defeat. I recognize that there may be great comfort in going 'well, that's just how I am, not much I can do' but that's the type of mentality that leads down the dark road of despair - if you think you are powerless to change it, then you are quite likely to end up in a place where you are pretty fkd.
  - mercer 11y ago
    One difficulty with 'root causes' is that this is very often considered to mean 'things that happened in your past,' whereas the root cause could also be biological factors, environmental factors, or 'faulty' thought patterns. Focusing on 'things in the past' too much can keep you from seeing other possibilities. Unfortunately psychoanalysis is still quite popular, and as a result too many people remain stuck in endlessly probing their subconscious where CBT or another approach might help them instead.
  - DanBC 11y ago
    > To think that there isn't a root for depression is to basically admit defeat. No. It's to accept that depression happens for a variety of complex reasons and to simplify it to some mythical root cause is not in anyway helpful. This root cause stuff sounds like traditional psychoanalysis which has been pretty much totally debunked as useless now. People are much better off ignoring root cause and focussing on treatment. The article mentions two evidence based therapies - CBT and DBT - neither of which ask people to look for a root cause.

DanBC 11y ago

> I have met a number of people who have depression and it's usually the same story - being very defensive about whatever the root cause might be and if you probe them, they'll clamp up. It's almost like it hurts too much to admit that you are not ok. There often isn't a root cause for depression. Asking people why they're depressed can feel like you're judging them - "What have you got to be depressed about?"

alexashka 11y ago
The previous paragraph makes a note on that: "The issue as I see it in a lot of cases, is one of not being open enough about the root of the problem with yourself and others. Sometimes they don't even really know! (Usually younger people)" If you genuinely don't know, then you need to figure that out, asap. That's what happened to me pretty early on in life, I actually went to my parents one day and musingly said 'I am not happy, I don't know why'. Acknowledging that there genuinely was a problem, was an important step, because then I read all sorts of books and at least did surface level things like 'being more positive' - gleamed from that famous Dale Carnegie book. It didn't do anything overnight but it got me to open my mind to a wide array of ideas I hadn't considered before - some of them counter-productive, others quite good. To think that there isn't a root for depression is to basically admit defeat. I recognize that there may be great comfort in going 'well, that's just how I am, not much I can do' but that's the type of mentality that leads down the dark road of despair - if you think you are powerless to change it, then you are quite likely to end up in a place where you are pretty fkd.
- mercer 11y ago
  One difficulty with 'root causes' is that this is very often considered to mean 'things that happened in your past,' whereas the root cause could also be biological factors, environmental factors, or 'faulty' thought patterns. Focusing on 'things in the past' too much can keep you from seeing other possibilities. Unfortunately psychoanalysis is still quite popular, and as a result too many people remain stuck in endlessly probing their subconscious where CBT or another approach might help them instead.
- DanBC 11y ago
  > To think that there isn't a root for depression is to basically admit defeat. No. It's to accept that depression happens for a variety of complex reasons and to simplify it to some mythical root cause is not in anyway helpful. This root cause stuff sounds like traditional psychoanalysis which has been pretty much totally debunked as useless now. People are much better off ignoring root cause and focussing on treatment. The article mentions two evidence based therapies - CBT and DBT - neither of which ask people to look for a root cause.