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Aziz Ansari sarcastically jokes about those who marry their high school sweethearts: "I don't think I’m going to run into anyone interesting in my 20s or 30s. I

by IvyMike 11y ago

Aziz Ansari sarcastically jokes about those who marry their high school sweethearts: "I don't think I’m going to run into anyone interesting in my 20s or 30s. I’m just going to lock this shit down now.” I have to imagine that reasoning occurs more often with those from smaller towns than those from the big city.

deleted 11y ago
[deleted]
nilkn 11y ago
If you lock it down at 30, what are the odds that you won't find a single person who is more interesting in your remaining 5+ decades of life (good health be with you)? I think I would respond to this viewpoint with a CS analogy. You can do a comparison based sort, in which you really don't have an absolute sense of the final sorted position of any object just by looking at it, or you might know extra information about the objects being sorted (e.g., they're integers), in which case you can do something like a counting sort. With finding your spouse, I don't think a naive comparison-based sort is necessary. You should have a feeling for how solid the match is just on the basis of the match alone. You can estimate the value of that match without necessarily having to compare it to all other possible matches one-by-one. Of course, experience and wisdom in life are tremendously helpful in this regard. But at some point you're going to just have to make the call yourself.
- jmnicolas 11y ago
  Are you married ? Just curious ;-)
- sokoloff 11y ago
  There's a mathematical solution to your conundrum: http://www.npr.org/sections/krulwich/2014/05/15/312537965/how-to-marry-the-right-girl-a-mathematical-solution http://www.npr.org/sections/krulwich/2014/05/15/312537965/ho... It makes a few assumptions (that you can boil your fitness function down to a single, comparable value; that you can accurately recall the previous "highest" score; that you can accurately assess the number of relationships you'll be able to have and evaluate). With that, it boils down to: Date 36.8% (1/e) of your final number, then marry the first person after that who is the "best so far".
  - corin_ 11y ago
    Am I supposed to know my "final number"?
    - sokoloff 11y ago
      You're supposed to guess/approximate it. The longer it takes you to decide, the lower the number. The more social you are, the higher, the more "appealing" you are, the higher, etc. It also only models a "one way choice"-presumably in actual application, both sides would need to jointly agree. It's not exactly an executable algorithm.

by IvyMike 11y ago

deleted 11y ago

[deleted]

nilkn 11y ago

If you lock it down at 30, what are the odds that you won't find a single person who is more interesting in your remaining 5+ decades of life (good health be with you)? I think I would respond to this viewpoint with a CS analogy. You can do a comparison based sort, in which you really don't have an absolute sense of the final sorted position of any object just by looking at it, or you might know extra information about the objects being sorted (e.g., they're integers), in which case you can do something like a counting sort. With finding your spouse, I don't think a naive comparison-based sort is necessary. You should have a feeling for how solid the match is just on the basis of the match alone. You can estimate the value of that match without necessarily having to compare it to all other possible matches one-by-one. Of course, experience and wisdom in life are tremendously helpful in this regard. But at some point you're going to just have to make the call yourself.

jmnicolas 11y ago
Are you married ? Just curious ;-)
sokoloff 11y ago
There's a mathematical solution to your conundrum: http://www.npr.org/sections/krulwich/2014/05/15/312537965/how-to-marry-the-right-girl-a-mathematical-solution http://www.npr.org/sections/krulwich/2014/05/15/312537965/ho... It makes a few assumptions (that you can boil your fitness function down to a single, comparable value; that you can accurately recall the previous "highest" score; that you can accurately assess the number of relationships you'll be able to have and evaluate). With that, it boils down to: Date 36.8% (1/e) of your final number, then marry the first person after that who is the "best so far".
- corin_ 11y ago
  Am I supposed to know my "final number"?
  - sokoloff 11y ago
    You're supposed to guess/approximate it. The longer it takes you to decide, the lower the number. The more social you are, the higher, the more "appealing" you are, the higher, etc. It also only models a "one way choice"-presumably in actual application, both sides would need to jointly agree. It's not exactly an executable algorithm.