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That's actually not true. Compared to men, women: * Live longer * Are less likely to kill themselves * Are less likely to be the victim of violence * Are b

by ebfe 11y ago

That's actually not true. Compared to men, women: * Live longer * Are less likely to kill themselves * Are less likely to be the victim of violence * Are better protected under the law if they are victimized * Are less likely to be homeless (and receive more support if they are) * Receive shorter sentences for the same crimes * Are less likely to be victims of police brutality (the disparity between men and women is actually greater than the disparity between blacks and whites!) * Are protected under the law from genital mutilation * Have reproductive rights * Are more likely to go to college * When applying for academic positions, are twice as likely to be selected over equally qualified men * Are the majority of the electorate * Receive preferential treatment in civil court * The youngest generations now out-earns their male peers * Are provided government loans, tax breaks, and contracts unavailable to men * Are given better grades in school for the same answers * Own the majority of wealth in the United States Everything else being equal, men face far greater issues than their female peers.

benihana 11y ago
>Everything else being equal, men face far greater issues than their female peers. This sentiment is part of the problem in my opinion. How shitty you have it isn't a damn competition. I think we should be working to remove these systemic issues for everyone, rather than keeping score on who has had the more challenging game of life. Edit: I was thinking about your comment. You bring up a legitimate list of concerns that I happen to agree with you on. I just don't really care for the way it was delivered. I think you could win a lot more support if you presented the argument less as a competition for who has it worse, and more as a way to illuminate issues for people who may not be aware or who may have not given these issues much though.
- mreiland 11y ago
  The last time I checked, acknowledging the problem was the first step to solving it.
- Lawtonfogle 11y ago
  Considering it was a list of examples to show another poster's claim as being unfounded, you seem to be responding to the wrong person. Their parent comment is the one who insisted that one side has it worse, suggesting it is a competition. It is a trend I notice in online discussions. In the gender competitions, it seems the one who wins is reprimanded more than the one who started it.
ep103 11y ago
I've deleted this comment based on replies, I may have had wrong information : )
- dragonwriter 11y ago
  You can try, but every study I've seen has found that men are favored in contested custody proceedings. Its true that women are more likely to end up with custody, but that appears to because they are vastly more likely to seek custody.
  - arzugula 11y ago
    You seem to think men can just walk down to the "Fathers Who Want Custody Office" and declare "Give me form #1 please! I'll have it filled out and be with my child again by this afternoon!" What is ignored when people make the "There's no bias in family court! Fathers just don't seek custody!" claim: 1. Who gets automatic custody? Custody of children born out of wedlock is automatically given to the mother. In most states custody of children in divorced families also goes automatically to the mother. In both cases the father must undergo a lengthy and expensive legal process (depending on how willing the mother is to allow him access - the father is at the mercy of the mother to allow him to be in his children's lives). It is then the father's "privilege" to sue for custody. 2. The price of seeking custody for men - fathers must pony up the cash, time, and emotional expense for: * Hiring a family practice lawyer (thousands of dollars) * Paying for a custody mediator (hundreds of dollars) * Paying for supervised visitation (hundreds of dollars) * Custody screenings (hundreds-thousands of dollars) * Psychological evaluation (hundreds of dollars and the risk of thrusting oneself into the state psychological system) * Drug testing (massive invasion of privacy). 3. While the father is busy jumping through these hoops and spending the required thousands of dollars, he is also expected to be paying child support (and alimony if he was married). If he fails to do so he will be jailed, have his state professional and drivers licenses revoked, and face public humiliation as a "dead beat dad". 4. Law surrounding domestic and sexual violence make it extremely easy for mothers to accuse fathers with a complete lack of evidence. This is extremely common ( http://www.saveservices.org/camp/faam-2011/false-accusations-of-domestic-violence-by-the-numbers/ http://www.saveservices.org/camp/faam-2011/false-accusations... ). Now the father is fighting a criminal charge while fighting for custody of his children. Thanks to VAWA/The Duluth Model, even with no evidence he will be arrested and charged. Lets take a look at what it really means to be a father facing the family court system: You are unable to see your child for months or even years, yet you are sending 25%+ of your income every month to their mother - the person who is preventing you from being in your kids lives. You are expected to continue sending these payments, while opening your life to rigorous inspection from the state and funding your custody battle. You are attending mediation and court hearings while holding down a full-time job - a job that if you lose, you will be unable to make your payments and end up a felon in child support arrears. During all of this your risk of being falsely accused of domestic or sexual violence is increased exponentially. When people like yourself try and spin the horrific situation that men face in the family court system as "men just don't want custody" it makes my blood boil. You ignore the cost of the process, you ignore the unequal laws surrounding parenthood and reproduction, and you ignore the normalized alienation of fathers from their children that is increasing exponentially and having a disastrous effect on society. If you are still confused about how family court works, I invite you to watch the documentary Divorce Corp. and get a more accurate understanding about how fathers are routinely alienated from their children by vindictive mothers with full support from the state.
erroneousfunk 11y ago
You're going to need citations for a lot of those statistics... http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024233028 http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024233028 http://www.pnas.org/content/109/41/16474 http://www.pnas.org/content/109/41/16474 You could also make a similar list of complaints about the "advantages that men have," which are obviously numerous. Everyone has it bad.
- hamax 11y ago
  Why the hack is this getting downvoted while the ridiculous post above is getting all the upvotes. What's wrong with this community?

by ebfe 11y ago

benihana 11y ago

>Everything else being equal, men face far greater issues than their female peers. This sentiment is part of the problem in my opinion. How shitty you have it isn't a damn competition. I think we should be working to remove these systemic issues for everyone, rather than keeping score on who has had the more challenging game of life. Edit: I was thinking about your comment. You bring up a legitimate list of concerns that I happen to agree with you on. I just don't really care for the way it was delivered. I think you could win a lot more support if you presented the argument less as a competition for who has it worse, and more as a way to illuminate issues for people who may not be aware or who may have not given these issues much though.

mreiland 11y ago
The last time I checked, acknowledging the problem was the first step to solving it.
Lawtonfogle 11y ago
Considering it was a list of examples to show another poster's claim as being unfounded, you seem to be responding to the wrong person. Their parent comment is the one who insisted that one side has it worse, suggesting it is a competition. It is a trend I notice in online discussions. In the gender competitions, it seems the one who wins is reprimanded more than the one who started it.

ep103 11y ago

I've deleted this comment based on replies, I may have had wrong information : )

dragonwriter 11y ago
You can try, but every study I've seen has found that men are favored in contested custody proceedings. Its true that women are more likely to end up with custody, but that appears to because they are vastly more likely to seek custody.
- arzugula 11y ago
  You seem to think men can just walk down to the "Fathers Who Want Custody Office" and declare "Give me form #1 please! I'll have it filled out and be with my child again by this afternoon!" What is ignored when people make the "There's no bias in family court! Fathers just don't seek custody!" claim: 1. Who gets automatic custody? Custody of children born out of wedlock is automatically given to the mother. In most states custody of children in divorced families also goes automatically to the mother. In both cases the father must undergo a lengthy and expensive legal process (depending on how willing the mother is to allow him access - the father is at the mercy of the mother to allow him to be in his children's lives). It is then the father's "privilege" to sue for custody. 2. The price of seeking custody for men - fathers must pony up the cash, time, and emotional expense for: * Hiring a family practice lawyer (thousands of dollars) * Paying for a custody mediator (hundreds of dollars) * Paying for supervised visitation (hundreds of dollars) * Custody screenings (hundreds-thousands of dollars) * Psychological evaluation (hundreds of dollars and the risk of thrusting oneself into the state psychological system) * Drug testing (massive invasion of privacy). 3. While the father is busy jumping through these hoops and spending the required thousands of dollars, he is also expected to be paying child support (and alimony if he was married). If he fails to do so he will be jailed, have his state professional and drivers licenses revoked, and face public humiliation as a "dead beat dad". 4. Law surrounding domestic and sexual violence make it extremely easy for mothers to accuse fathers with a complete lack of evidence. This is extremely common ( http://www.saveservices.org/camp/faam-2011/false-accusations-of-domestic-violence-by-the-numbers/ http://www.saveservices.org/camp/faam-2011/false-accusations... ). Now the father is fighting a criminal charge while fighting for custody of his children. Thanks to VAWA/The Duluth Model, even with no evidence he will be arrested and charged. Lets take a look at what it really means to be a father facing the family court system: You are unable to see your child for months or even years, yet you are sending 25%+ of your income every month to their mother - the person who is preventing you from being in your kids lives. You are expected to continue sending these payments, while opening your life to rigorous inspection from the state and funding your custody battle. You are attending mediation and court hearings while holding down a full-time job - a job that if you lose, you will be unable to make your payments and end up a felon in child support arrears. During all of this your risk of being falsely accused of domestic or sexual violence is increased exponentially. When people like yourself try and spin the horrific situation that men face in the family court system as "men just don't want custody" it makes my blood boil. You ignore the cost of the process, you ignore the unequal laws surrounding parenthood and reproduction, and you ignore the normalized alienation of fathers from their children that is increasing exponentially and having a disastrous effect on society. If you are still confused about how family court works, I invite you to watch the documentary Divorce Corp. and get a more accurate understanding about how fathers are routinely alienated from their children by vindictive mothers with full support from the state.

erroneousfunk 11y ago

You're going to need citations for a lot of those statistics... http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024233028 http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024233028 http://www.pnas.org/content/109/41/16474 http://www.pnas.org/content/109/41/16474 You could also make a similar list of complaints about the "advantages that men have," which are obviously numerous. Everyone has it bad.

hamax 11y ago
Why the hack is this getting downvoted while the ridiculous post above is getting all the upvotes. What's wrong with this community?