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"Every interaction in life is a transaction of some sort." What about when a mother kisses her baby's head? What about when a friend offers a hug to someone w

"Every interaction in life is a transaction of some sort." What about when a mother kisses her baby's head? What about when a friend offers a hug to someone who has just lost a loved one? What about when a kid gives a friendly smile to the kid who always gets bullied? Are those transactions? Did those people get "good deals"? Now I'm just some hyperbole-prone kid who isn't qualified to give advice to a Life Veteran like yourself, but I find myself wondering what you might learn if you stopped keeping score for awhile. In my experience, treating every interaction as a little game to maximize profit is a great way to scare away anyone who is interested in anything more worthwhile than profiting off of you.

eclipxe 11y ago
Of course those are all transactions. The helping hand, the caring kiss from the depths of motherly love, etc - they are win-win transactions. The baby gets comfort and love and the mother gets a dose of oxytocin to encourage further bonding. The friend offering a hug provides comfort and gets the good feelings of helping/offering comfort. Win-wins, but still a transaction, an exchange of value. Time, attention, love, care - these are all benefits that can be given and received. Same with business - win-win transactions are best. When you provide something that others find valuable and you receive something valuable in return (loyalty, money, hype, etc) it's a good thing.
- YTc0YjY4MzBl 11y ago
  Surely you would agree that the amount of oxytocin the mother gets is not determined by the quality of her "sales strategy." Thank you for clarifying that you were not advocating the rather shallow, exploitative, and depressing approach to life that I misinterpreted from your previous comment.
mfukar 11y ago
> What about when a mother kisses her baby's head? What about when a friend offers a hug to someone who has just lost a loved one? What about when a kid gives a friendly smile to the kid who always gets bullied? Well, there are the obvious ones: evolutionarily beneficial responses. Still transactions, unconsciously working for the benefit of the species. The others are more selfish. Obviously not angry or malicious, but they convey certain clear benefits for little to no effort. Definitely transactional. Just because they are transactions, however, doesn't mean you have to weigh them in terms of some sort of emotional "profit", or they're in any way unwanted. It's just a way of talking about them, even modelling them for study.
- deleted 11y ago
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eclipxe 11y ago

Of course those are all transactions. The helping hand, the caring kiss from the depths of motherly love, etc - they are win-win transactions. The baby gets comfort and love and the mother gets a dose of oxytocin to encourage further bonding. The friend offering a hug provides comfort and gets the good feelings of helping/offering comfort. Win-wins, but still a transaction, an exchange of value. Time, attention, love, care - these are all benefits that can be given and received. Same with business - win-win transactions are best. When you provide something that others find valuable and you receive something valuable in return (loyalty, money, hype, etc) it's a good thing.

YTc0YjY4MzBl 11y ago
Surely you would agree that the amount of oxytocin the mother gets is not determined by the quality of her "sales strategy." Thank you for clarifying that you were not advocating the rather shallow, exploitative, and depressing approach to life that I misinterpreted from your previous comment.

mfukar 11y ago

> What about when a mother kisses her baby's head? What about when a friend offers a hug to someone who has just lost a loved one? What about when a kid gives a friendly smile to the kid who always gets bullied? Well, there are the obvious ones: evolutionarily beneficial responses. Still transactions, unconsciously working for the benefit of the species. The others are more selfish. Obviously not angry or malicious, but they convey certain clear benefits for little to no effort. Definitely transactional. Just because they are transactions, however, doesn't mean you have to weigh them in terms of some sort of emotional "profit", or they're in any way unwanted. It's just a way of talking about them, even modelling them for study.

deleted 11y ago
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