5 ms·

I think this article puts the euphemism 'social perfectionism' on the subtle, and in some cases blatant anti-male stance that pervades US and UK society today.

I think this article puts the euphemism 'social perfectionism' on the subtle, and in some cases blatant anti-male stance that pervades US and UK society today. Sports teams fall over themselves to wear pink for Mother's Day, hardly anyone celebrates Father's Day. [1] Time Magazine publishes an article on how "Men are Obsolete". [2] Politicians routinely trumpet the 77% pay gap despite it being "more complicated than that" at best, and false at worst. [3] Fathers are routinely mocked and disparaged in TV commercials, and shown as the bumbling idiot. [4] A Columbia student has gained national acclaim after doing a "art performance" accusing a fellow student of rape [5] while he (despite having been cleared by the University) is still a pariah. [6] Meanwhile, a female teacher in California who had sex with her 14-year old male student gets only two years in prison (note that the article doesn't ever say "rape", even though it is statutory rape).[7] Given these, is it any surprise that the average man who is mocked by society thinks of committing suicide after his wife commits infidelity multiple times, and then gets the house through no-fault divorce laws? This has nothing to do with so-called perfectionism. To be fair, the article covers this in one succinct sentence in the middle, which is, "In the UK and other Western societies, it sometimes feels as if we collectively decided, at some point around the mid-1980s, that men are awful." -- which I think is a far more accurate statement. [1] http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/granderson-met-yankee-players-pink-moms-article-1.2216320 http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/granderson-met-ya... [2] http://time.com/179/men-are-obsolete/ http://time.com/179/men-are-obsolete/ [3] http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/08/gender_pay_gap_the_familiar_line_that_women_make_77_cents_to_every_man_s.html http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/08/gende... [4] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGCTFjFiNu4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGCTFjFiNu4 [5] http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/10/29/its-hard-to-ignore-a-woman-toting-a-mattress-everywhere-she-goes-which-is-why-emma-sulkowicz-is-still-doing-it/ http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/10/29... [6] http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/02/03/columbia-student-i-didn-t-rape-her.html http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/02/03/columbia-st... [7] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/07/amy-beck-gets-2-years-for_n_567930.html http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/07/amy-beck-gets-2-yea...

meatysnapper 11y ago
Yeah, I'm not really seeing the whole social perfectionism thing either. An ex-coworker killed himself in a similar situation.
GhotiFish 11y ago
huh? I hardly feel threatened by basically everything you just listed there. Do you? I get the feeling if you asked most women: "Do you think men are awful?" The answer would be "Yes but we love them anyway." and, to be on a less cutsey point. There was a time in my life where I was seriously depressed, and it was not because I thought society treated men poorly on average. It was because I thought I would have no place in society. So at the very least for this poster, my experience directly contradicts you. Hardly scientific, but I trust my own eyes.
- parennoob 11y ago
  > I hardly feel threatened by basically everything you just listed there. Do you? Seeing a bias and pointing it out does not equal "being threatened". Would you speak this way to a woman who was pointing out, say, anti-female bias in hackathon results? > I get the feeling if you asked most women: "Do you think men are awful?" The answer would be "Yes but we love them anyway." The fact that you accept the "yes" at the beginning of that answer reflexively illustrates my point precisely. Remember that the adjective I used to describe majority of the bias I referred to was subtle, not blatant. > There was a time in my life where I was seriously depressed, and it was not because I thought society treated men poorly on average. It was because I thought I would have no place in society. So at the very least for this poster, my experience directly contradicts you. I think you are misconstruing my post as a reflection of my life situation. Nothing is really verifiable over the Internet, but I can assure you that it is not.
  - GhotiFish 11y ago
    huh? No. I was talking about my life only. I'm sure you're wonderful. To be clear, I don't actually believe that the thought "Society treats men so poorly, and I'm a man" is a thought that is pushing you towards depression, or anyone to depression. I don't believe would depress anyone. I do believe it outrages you. I would agree, some of those things seem pretty outrageous! I'd have a hard time believing you were actually depressed if you were to assert that the reason you were depressed is because you didn't like the way society treated men. I would not believe that at all. It would deeply contradict my experience with depression.

meatysnapper 11y ago

Yeah, I'm not really seeing the whole social perfectionism thing either. An ex-coworker killed himself in a similar situation.

GhotiFish 11y ago

huh? I hardly feel threatened by basically everything you just listed there. Do you? I get the feeling if you asked most women: "Do you think men are awful?" The answer would be "Yes but we love them anyway." and, to be on a less cutsey point. There was a time in my life where I was seriously depressed, and it was not because I thought society treated men poorly on average. It was because I thought I would have no place in society. So at the very least for this poster, my experience directly contradicts you. Hardly scientific, but I trust my own eyes.

parennoob 11y ago
> I hardly feel threatened by basically everything you just listed there. Do you? Seeing a bias and pointing it out does not equal "being threatened". Would you speak this way to a woman who was pointing out, say, anti-female bias in hackathon results? > I get the feeling if you asked most women: "Do you think men are awful?" The answer would be "Yes but we love them anyway." The fact that you accept the "yes" at the beginning of that answer reflexively illustrates my point precisely. Remember that the adjective I used to describe majority of the bias I referred to was subtle, not blatant. > There was a time in my life where I was seriously depressed, and it was not because I thought society treated men poorly on average. It was because I thought I would have no place in society. So at the very least for this poster, my experience directly contradicts you. I think you are misconstruing my post as a reflection of my life situation. Nothing is really verifiable over the Internet, but I can assure you that it is not.
- GhotiFish 11y ago
  huh? No. I was talking about my life only. I'm sure you're wonderful. To be clear, I don't actually believe that the thought "Society treats men so poorly, and I'm a man" is a thought that is pushing you towards depression, or anyone to depression. I don't believe would depress anyone. I do believe it outrages you. I would agree, some of those things seem pretty outrageous! I'd have a hard time believing you were actually depressed if you were to assert that the reason you were depressed is because you didn't like the way society treated men. I would not believe that at all. It would deeply contradict my experience with depression.