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Groping is not OK, but an invitation to a date? How are people going to get together in the future, matchmaking by computer is the only "form" allowed? I suppos

Groping is not OK, but an invitation to a date? How are people going to get together in the future, matchmaking by computer is the only "form" allowed? I suppose that would be good news for her startup... It's sleazy to invite somebody hoping to date them but giving the impression that you want to invest in them. But the guy mentioned explicitly stated "it's a personal invitation", meaning it would be a date. What is so horrible about that? Can women not even say "no thanks" by email anymore, is that too much of an ordeal (or, if that is too hard, just ignore an email - too hard?)?

deleted 11y ago
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kaitai 11y ago
Somehow we've gotten to a point in society where it is relatively accepted that me saying to a student, "Come to my office for a... personal meeting..." or "I'd like to have beers with you after class alone -- it's a personal invite. is wrong. This is not offering a date no-strings-attached, simply because of our jobs.
- facepalm 11y ago
  I think that's bullshit. Rich people are not allowed to date anymore? Actually there was recently a study that showed that upward mobility has severely decreased because fewer women are marrying richer men (used to be a major way to become richer). So this is yet another example of feminism harming women. By "protecting" the supposed victims of powerful men you deprive women of the option to date powerful men. And what if a student is interested in dating a professor? Running a startup is not such a dire situation that it forces you to become a sex slave. Edit: in reply to the comment below: The corollary of the statistic is that men don't have a lot of upward mobility. So often the unspoken assumptions that go along with feminism are simply wrong. Being able to marry upwards is a "privilege" of women mostly. It doesn't imply that they can not try other routes like everybody else. YC doesn't allow me to comment further atm, so good bye.
  - jeffbush 11y ago
    I think the point of feminism is that women should have upward mobility through their own merit, sorta like men... The pool of female founders is already incredibly tiny. Asking VCs not to proposition women who are pitching them won't mean they are unable to date.
Thriptic 11y ago
An investor should not be inviting people actively seeking funding from their VC to a VC backed event as a date. It's unprofessional (it sets up an obvious conflict of interest for both parties) and it's unethical (it sends very mixed signals and it could be viewed as coercive). Asking her out to dinner or a non-corporate event would have been much more appropriate, but frankly even that would have been somewhat questionable.
- facepalm 11y ago
  She wrote "Another never followed up with me after our meeting, but a month later invited me to an event his VC was holding" - it doesn't sound to me as if there was still the option of investing on the table. Besides, let's be honest - even if it was a private invitation, it was an even by some VC, so presumably lots of VCs would have been present. I'd be very surprised if women would not also routinely get the advantage of being introduced to VCs because they are women, which men don't get. It's dumb to not take advantage of that because of some weird puritan moral that attractiveness is not supposed to exist. She mentions herself that "attractive" male CEOs seem to get more funding. Edit: reply to comments below - first, do you really think a guy having sex with an investor just to get investment would not be called some unfavorable things behind his back? And being invited to a party with VC is a net positive option. Ignoring it would merely put her back to the level of men, not below that level. Feeling pressure to go there - really? As I said, it is strictly a positive option, ignore it and you can still do all the things men do to meet investors. And maybe that guy merely thought she would be interested in meeting VCs and proposed that as a date because of that. What's wrong with trying to cater to the interests of your date?
  - deleted 11y ago
    [deleted]
  - EmanueleAina 11y ago
    The flip side is that women that behave as you depicted often get labelled with unfunny names, while it does not happen when said behaviour comes from a man. :/

deleted 11y ago

[deleted]

kaitai 11y ago

Somehow we've gotten to a point in society where it is relatively accepted that me saying to a student, "Come to my office for a... personal meeting..." or "I'd like to have beers with you after class alone -- it's a personal invite. is wrong. This is not offering a date no-strings-attached, simply because of our jobs.

facepalm 11y ago
I think that's bullshit. Rich people are not allowed to date anymore? Actually there was recently a study that showed that upward mobility has severely decreased because fewer women are marrying richer men (used to be a major way to become richer). So this is yet another example of feminism harming women. By "protecting" the supposed victims of powerful men you deprive women of the option to date powerful men. And what if a student is interested in dating a professor? Running a startup is not such a dire situation that it forces you to become a sex slave. Edit: in reply to the comment below: The corollary of the statistic is that men don't have a lot of upward mobility. So often the unspoken assumptions that go along with feminism are simply wrong. Being able to marry upwards is a "privilege" of women mostly. It doesn't imply that they can not try other routes like everybody else. YC doesn't allow me to comment further atm, so good bye.
- jeffbush 11y ago
  I think the point of feminism is that women should have upward mobility through their own merit, sorta like men... The pool of female founders is already incredibly tiny. Asking VCs not to proposition women who are pitching them won't mean they are unable to date.

Thriptic 11y ago

An investor should not be inviting people actively seeking funding from their VC to a VC backed event as a date. It's unprofessional (it sets up an obvious conflict of interest for both parties) and it's unethical (it sends very mixed signals and it could be viewed as coercive). Asking her out to dinner or a non-corporate event would have been much more appropriate, but frankly even that would have been somewhat questionable.

facepalm 11y ago
She wrote "Another never followed up with me after our meeting, but a month later invited me to an event his VC was holding" - it doesn't sound to me as if there was still the option of investing on the table. Besides, let's be honest - even if it was a private invitation, it was an even by some VC, so presumably lots of VCs would have been present. I'd be very surprised if women would not also routinely get the advantage of being introduced to VCs because they are women, which men don't get. It's dumb to not take advantage of that because of some weird puritan moral that attractiveness is not supposed to exist. She mentions herself that "attractive" male CEOs seem to get more funding. Edit: reply to comments below - first, do you really think a guy having sex with an investor just to get investment would not be called some unfavorable things behind his back? And being invited to a party with VC is a net positive option. Ignoring it would merely put her back to the level of men, not below that level. Feeling pressure to go there - really? As I said, it is strictly a positive option, ignore it and you can still do all the things men do to meet investors. And maybe that guy merely thought she would be interested in meeting VCs and proposed that as a date because of that. What's wrong with trying to cater to the interests of your date?
- deleted 11y ago
  [deleted]
- EmanueleAina 11y ago
  The flip side is that women that behave as you depicted often get labelled with unfunny names, while it does not happen when said behaviour comes from a man. :/