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Could you expand on "If other people interrupt, contradict, or insult you, ignore it." Do you mean if you're in mid-sentence and someone interrupts you that yo

Could you expand on "If other people interrupt, contradict, or insult you, ignore it." Do you mean if you're in mid-sentence and someone interrupts you that you should continue talking as if they had not interrupted? I have someone I have to deal with who does this a lot, and I really struggle with it. I have pointed out the interruptions, and need to do so again, but interested to hear your point of view (as I really liked your points above)

adrusi 11y ago
If they do it repeatedly and it's making it impossible for you to communicate, a simple "excuse me" will do. If they absolutely will not stop interrupting, just excuse yourself from the conversation.
- kev6168 11y ago
  by repeatedly excusing yourself from the conversations, it's likely you let the a*holes and rude ones dominate the situation and let them exert more influence in work places or other social avenues. I have been struggling to find out better solutions, if they are out there.
anigbrowl 11y ago
I let people interrupt me, up to a point. When I was young I had a terrible temper and I'm pretty quick verbally, so it was easy for a disagreement to escalate into a fight as I would try to keep getting the upper hand. Eventually I grew out of it. (Of course not every interruption is meant to be confrontational or aggressive - my post above was slanted a bit towards those situations, I think because of the James Bond reference :-) ) I'll let someone interrupt me 2 or 3 times. If it's with a question I can answer in a single sentence I'll do so and move on, if it's complex then I'll reply that 'I'm coming to that,' assuming of course that it's relevant. If they're just venting without saying anything, I'll just reply 'I see.' and move on. If a person persists in interrupting, I'll ask him (it's almost always a guy thing) 'are you finished?' and ask again if necessary. If they really can't help themselves, eventually I'll say 'look, I didn't interrupt you when you were talking. Please show me the same courtesy.' That's generally enough to make the point without raising the temperature. In a tense conversation I'll also make a deliberate effort to slow down my speech. It helps me stay calm and and it also gives my remarks more weight. Although I talked about many situations involving verbal conflict, I'd like to stress that I don't see it as a matter of winning and losing. Often disagreements arise because people want to express their frustration but can't see a constructive path to resolve differences of opinion or interest. De-escalating the situation is a way to let the air out of the balloon slowly instead of with a bang, and reduce people's stress level. Books on mediation have lots of good techniques on this, and you can find mediation classes in many major cities - going to a professional mediator is often cheaper and more effective than getting into a lawsuit, so courts often encourage it. I wouldn't claim to be some sort of conversational amster who never turns a hair. I frequently yell at inanimate objects, my phone and so on :-)
- patrickdavey 11y ago
  Yip, I think I just need to say something, he's actually a great guy, it's just he gets interested in conversations and always has something to say. It's not a dominance thing, just an interrupting thing. I have become better at these sorts of conversations, but still struggle with confrontation. One book I found _excellet_ was Crucial Conversations, really really good.

adrusi 11y ago

If they do it repeatedly and it's making it impossible for you to communicate, a simple "excuse me" will do. If they absolutely will not stop interrupting, just excuse yourself from the conversation.

kev6168 11y ago
by repeatedly excusing yourself from the conversations, it's likely you let the a*holes and rude ones dominate the situation and let them exert more influence in work places or other social avenues. I have been struggling to find out better solutions, if they are out there.

anigbrowl 11y ago

I let people interrupt me, up to a point. When I was young I had a terrible temper and I'm pretty quick verbally, so it was easy for a disagreement to escalate into a fight as I would try to keep getting the upper hand. Eventually I grew out of it. (Of course not every interruption is meant to be confrontational or aggressive - my post above was slanted a bit towards those situations, I think because of the James Bond reference :-) ) I'll let someone interrupt me 2 or 3 times. If it's with a question I can answer in a single sentence I'll do so and move on, if it's complex then I'll reply that 'I'm coming to that,' assuming of course that it's relevant. If they're just venting without saying anything, I'll just reply 'I see.' and move on. If a person persists in interrupting, I'll ask him (it's almost always a guy thing) 'are you finished?' and ask again if necessary. If they really can't help themselves, eventually I'll say 'look, I didn't interrupt you when you were talking. Please show me the same courtesy.' That's generally enough to make the point without raising the temperature. In a tense conversation I'll also make a deliberate effort to slow down my speech. It helps me stay calm and and it also gives my remarks more weight. Although I talked about many situations involving verbal conflict, I'd like to stress that I don't see it as a matter of winning and losing. Often disagreements arise because people want to express their frustration but can't see a constructive path to resolve differences of opinion or interest. De-escalating the situation is a way to let the air out of the balloon slowly instead of with a bang, and reduce people's stress level. Books on mediation have lots of good techniques on this, and you can find mediation classes in many major cities - going to a professional mediator is often cheaper and more effective than getting into a lawsuit, so courts often encourage it. I wouldn't claim to be some sort of conversational amster who never turns a hair. I frequently yell at inanimate objects, my phone and so on :-)

patrickdavey 11y ago
Yip, I think I just need to say something, he's actually a great guy, it's just he gets interested in conversations and always has something to say. It's not a dominance thing, just an interrupting thing. I have become better at these sorts of conversations, but still struggle with confrontation. One book I found _excellet_ was Crucial Conversations, really really good.