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I agree with the OP -- from my experience, it's very difficult to tell how a person will act on a date, personality-wise, merely from their photos, profile, an
by psyklic 17y ago
I agree with the OP -- from my experience, it's very difficult to tell how a person will act on a date, personality-wise, merely from their photos, profile, and non-video chat. And personality is such an essential part of a person for dating.
- Tichy 17y agoAnd that's why people never fall in love with jerks, because all they care about is the personality.
- randallsquared 17y agoMaybe your intuition about the attractiveness of being a jerk is wrong?
- Tichy 17y agoDon't understand, what do you mean?
- randallsquared 17y agoI mean that being a jerk can make someone -- usually a guy -- more attractive, rather than less. (Your comment implied that you thought that when a person falls in love with a jerk, it's because that person is so attractive physically).
- gaius 17y agoIt's not the jerkiness (?) that's attractive, it's the self-confidence. That's what people really mean when they say "women prefer assholes". Bad behaviour is a proxy for confidence. Self-confidence trumps all other factors from a woman's POV.
- randallsquared 17y agoWell, there's a whole niche culture (PUA) built around this, and there are so many contradictory observations and prescriptions that I don't know that I even have a position on exactly what aspect of asinine behavior is sometimes attractive. I would note that it's not uncommon to see a girl devoted to a guy who seems self-loathing (as well as being a jerk, at least to her), so self-confidence is not always a major part of the picture.
- Tichy 17y agoFrom what I read about "the Game" a common play seems to be to make the girl feel insecure, though. Maybe other factors than just self-confidence are sometimes at play. (I have not read "The Game" itself, though, only blog articles mentioning it).