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Ok, I'm going to go out and say it: There is an absurd amount of pressure on women in this society to be perfect. Now, I'm not going to refute the fact that I

by physcab 17y ago

Ok, I'm going to go out and say it: There is an absurd amount of pressure on women in this society to be perfect. Now, I'm not going to refute the fact that I wouldn't message the most-attractive women as well. But if the knee-jerk reaction of a woman is to reject the message from the most-attractive men or to harshly rate decently looking guys, there are outside factors affecting the female perspective of appearance, especially if the same isn't true for men.

diN0bot 17y ago
sure. my first thought was: maybe the average guys on the site are worse looking than average. who knows? the statistics here are ridiculous.
- swolchok 17y ago
  To expound, men may have to retreat (when they're "retreating") to OKC because of below-average looks. Woman may have to retreat because of below-average personalities.
  - pmichaud 17y ago
    Maybe it's not "defective" people that post on dating sites, it's outliers who aren't likely to hook up with a random and have it work out. Maybe people with strange hobbies, beliefs, intelligence levels, whatever.
endtime 17y ago
Did you read the whole article? Men's attractiveness ratings of women are healthily distributed, almost unbelievably so. And women rated about 8.3/10 (rather than perfect 10/10) got the most messages.
- physcab 17y ago
  I did, but I'm not sure what in your comment disproves the self-esteem issue. My point is not what men think of women (how they rate them), but what women do when presented with the options I mentioned (attractive guys messaging them). If an attractive guy messages me, I would be thinking as a woman "Wow, this is validating" instead of "No, he must have made a mistake". If it's the latter, you have to wonder what initially gave her the idea that he made a mistake? Was it something deeply engrained? Maybe I didn't read the article correctly, but please don't assume I didn't read the whole thing. Starting off your comment like that is not very welcoming and doesn't add any value to the conversation.
  - endtime 17y ago
    You didn't talk about self-esteem. What you said was this: >There is an absurd amount of pressure on women in this society to be perfect. I think the data show precisely the opposite - that women aren't under pressure, at least from men, to be perfect. That was the point of my comment. Actually, in my experience, women are many times more guilty of the things they typically accuse men of than men are (e.g. objectifying the other sex, being judgmental about looks, etc.). Men are under at least as much pressure as women in these regards.
- joecode 17y ago
  And women rated about 8.3/10 (rather than perfect 10/10) got the most messages. This is a misleading statement. As a total number of messages, they did indeed get the most, since there are more of them, but the ones rated 10/10 still got a lot more messages per individual than those rated lower. And overall, the messages versus attractiveness curve is much steeper for men messaging women than the other way around.

by physcab 17y ago

diN0bot 17y ago

sure. my first thought was: maybe the average guys on the site are worse looking than average. who knows? the statistics here are ridiculous.

swolchok 17y ago
To expound, men may have to retreat (when they're "retreating") to OKC because of below-average looks. Woman may have to retreat because of below-average personalities.
- pmichaud 17y ago
  Maybe it's not "defective" people that post on dating sites, it's outliers who aren't likely to hook up with a random and have it work out. Maybe people with strange hobbies, beliefs, intelligence levels, whatever.

endtime 17y ago

Did you read the whole article? Men's attractiveness ratings of women are healthily distributed, almost unbelievably so. And women rated about 8.3/10 (rather than perfect 10/10) got the most messages.

physcab 17y ago
I did, but I'm not sure what in your comment disproves the self-esteem issue. My point is not what men think of women (how they rate them), but what women do when presented with the options I mentioned (attractive guys messaging them). If an attractive guy messages me, I would be thinking as a woman "Wow, this is validating" instead of "No, he must have made a mistake". If it's the latter, you have to wonder what initially gave her the idea that he made a mistake? Was it something deeply engrained? Maybe I didn't read the article correctly, but please don't assume I didn't read the whole thing. Starting off your comment like that is not very welcoming and doesn't add any value to the conversation.
- endtime 17y ago
  You didn't talk about self-esteem. What you said was this: >There is an absurd amount of pressure on women in this society to be perfect. I think the data show precisely the opposite - that women aren't under pressure, at least from men, to be perfect. That was the point of my comment. Actually, in my experience, women are many times more guilty of the things they typically accuse men of than men are (e.g. objectifying the other sex, being judgmental about looks, etc.). Men are under at least as much pressure as women in these regards.
joecode 17y ago
And women rated about 8.3/10 (rather than perfect 10/10) got the most messages. This is a misleading statement. As a total number of messages, they did indeed get the most, since there are more of them, but the ones rated 10/10 still got a lot more messages per individual than those rated lower. And overall, the messages versus attractiveness curve is much steeper for men messaging women than the other way around.