To me the issue with the deck is that it doesn't simplify the idea - it expands it over and over again until you get overwhelmed by the details of the business.

To me the issue with the deck is that it doesn't simplify the idea - it expands it over and over again until you get overwhelmed by the details of the business. That feeling of complexity, in my opinion, would leave investors feeling that the whole solution was so complex that there were too many ways to fail. Manufacturing? Marketplace? Hardware? It's too much for me - I can't imagine how an investor takes it all in and feels that the team could successfully execute on all the parts. The best decks I've seen, in addition to everything you've brought up, also simplify the idea down.