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" On work: it’s difficult to do a great job on work you don’t care about. And it’s hard to be totally happy/fulfilled in life if you don’t like what you do for

" On work: it’s difficult to do a great job on work you don’t care about. And it’s hard to be totally happy/fulfilled in life if you don’t like what you do for your work." How do you fix this? For the last 10 years of my life I've basically woken up each morning and wished I hadn't. I don't like what I do. I can't afford to not do it anymore. I don't even know what, if anything, I would actually enjoy waking up for.

Balgair 11y ago
Try a psychologist then, but before you start taking any drugs from them, just do a quick head count of the people around you. If more than 25% of them are total assholes, it's time to move. Really though, I don't know your situation, but it sounds like you gotta grab your huevos and change something. If there are financial issues, get rid of them as best you can. Explore other options for making money or getting out of debt or whatever you are in. If there are family/emotional reasons, remember that other people have feet too and can walk with you to a new place. If there are depression reasons, I hear running and weight lifting are great for it. Docs too, as I said. Also, music and dancing seem to be good too. You gotta plan for the end of your life just as much as the next meeting. And only you can do it for you. Take baby steps though, but keep them rolling.
- johnward 11y ago
  I've been to a counsellor but no psychologist is taking new patients in my area (that I've been able to find). I get up everyday at 6 and hit the gym before work. Usually 30-60 minutes of walking on an incline followed by an hour of lifting. I run maybe 1 or 2 times a week, still trying to get back into it. It's a little bit more difficult at 275lbs then I remember it being at <220lb but I still can make it 2 miles without stopping. I'm down 30lbs but I'm still up and down emotionally. I don't really have any reason my life seems pretty good relatively speaking. I'm much better now than I was a few years ago but still not good enough I guess.
cafebeen 11y ago
Depending on happiness from a job doesn't actually seem healthy. I don't know your situation, but maybe there's some way to improve life outside work, e.g. social circle, hobbies, fitness, mental health.
- johnward 11y ago
  The problem here is you spend a majority of your waking hours working. How can it not affect your quality of life? I get up at 6. Eat and then go to the gym until about 9. Work from 9:30 to about anywhere from 6:30-10. Go to bed. Rinse. Repeat. Thus is the life of a consultant. How do people have time for social activities and things? I mean on weekends I usually work around the house to catch up on things I missed during the week. It takes me 5 hours to cut grass so that doesn't help. Maybe once every 2 months or something I will go out with my wife.
testingonprod 11y ago
What do you do?
- johnward 11y ago
  I'm a software consultant. I travel or work from my house depending on the project. I think I like doing front-end dev type work as far as technical work goes. At least I seem to enjoy it a little bit when I actually get to do it on my projects. I keep getting rejected so I'm guess it's because I'm not a "real developer". IE I don't have experience with TDD and I don't code most of my day so I am always rusty. I thought about pulling a Peter Gibbons and getting in to construction or something a little bit physical. My family are all in construction and most of them make more than I do and spend a few months per year laid off (meaning time to do other things besides work). Outside of work I like lifting. Am trying to get back into running and even some competitive sports (ice/roller hockey) but it's hard to make time for it. Especially with travel.
pyrrhotech 11y ago
This just reality for many of us. Find something besides work to focus on, save as much as you can, and look forward to the day that you have the FU money to wake up every day thereafter to do whatever you please. Check out mrmoneymustache.com
peteretep 11y ago
> I don't like what I do. I can't afford to not do it > anymore. It may be true that the first one is completely out of your control, and the second one isn't true, but... I've been consistently amazed at how much I can squeeze my outgoings and maintain a pretty similar standard of living / happiness. The book "Your Money Or Your Life: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence" really goes to town on this idea. I've also been surprised by the degree to which I can sit down with a bright friend and brainstorm out changes I can make to my work that dramatically increase my enjoyment of it. Assuming that your enjoyment of your work is out of your control, rather than working to bring it in to your control, is a mistake.

Balgair 11y ago

Try a psychologist then, but before you start taking any drugs from them, just do a quick head count of the people around you. If more than 25% of them are total assholes, it's time to move. Really though, I don't know your situation, but it sounds like you gotta grab your huevos and change something. If there are financial issues, get rid of them as best you can. Explore other options for making money or getting out of debt or whatever you are in. If there are family/emotional reasons, remember that other people have feet too and can walk with you to a new place. If there are depression reasons, I hear running and weight lifting are great for it. Docs too, as I said. Also, music and dancing seem to be good too. You gotta plan for the end of your life just as much as the next meeting. And only you can do it for you. Take baby steps though, but keep them rolling.

johnward 11y ago
I've been to a counsellor but no psychologist is taking new patients in my area (that I've been able to find). I get up everyday at 6 and hit the gym before work. Usually 30-60 minutes of walking on an incline followed by an hour of lifting. I run maybe 1 or 2 times a week, still trying to get back into it. It's a little bit more difficult at 275lbs then I remember it being at <220lb but I still can make it 2 miles without stopping. I'm down 30lbs but I'm still up and down emotionally. I don't really have any reason my life seems pretty good relatively speaking. I'm much better now than I was a few years ago but still not good enough I guess.

cafebeen 11y ago

Depending on happiness from a job doesn't actually seem healthy. I don't know your situation, but maybe there's some way to improve life outside work, e.g. social circle, hobbies, fitness, mental health.

johnward 11y ago
The problem here is you spend a majority of your waking hours working. How can it not affect your quality of life? I get up at 6. Eat and then go to the gym until about 9. Work from 9:30 to about anywhere from 6:30-10. Go to bed. Rinse. Repeat. Thus is the life of a consultant. How do people have time for social activities and things? I mean on weekends I usually work around the house to catch up on things I missed during the week. It takes me 5 hours to cut grass so that doesn't help. Maybe once every 2 months or something I will go out with my wife.

testingonprod 11y ago

What do you do?

johnward 11y ago
I'm a software consultant. I travel or work from my house depending on the project. I think I like doing front-end dev type work as far as technical work goes. At least I seem to enjoy it a little bit when I actually get to do it on my projects. I keep getting rejected so I'm guess it's because I'm not a "real developer". IE I don't have experience with TDD and I don't code most of my day so I am always rusty. I thought about pulling a Peter Gibbons and getting in to construction or something a little bit physical. My family are all in construction and most of them make more than I do and spend a few months per year laid off (meaning time to do other things besides work). Outside of work I like lifting. Am trying to get back into running and even some competitive sports (ice/roller hockey) but it's hard to make time for it. Especially with travel.

pyrrhotech 11y ago

This just reality for many of us. Find something besides work to focus on, save as much as you can, and look forward to the day that you have the FU money to wake up every day thereafter to do whatever you please. Check out mrmoneymustache.com

peteretep 11y ago

> I don't like what I do. I can't afford to not do it > anymore. It may be true that the first one is completely out of your control, and the second one isn't true, but... I've been consistently amazed at how much I can squeeze my outgoings and maintain a pretty similar standard of living / happiness. The book "Your Money Or Your Life: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence" really goes to town on this idea. I've also been surprised by the degree to which I can sit down with a bright friend and brainstorm out changes I can make to my work that dramatically increase my enjoyment of it. Assuming that your enjoyment of your work is out of your control, rather than working to bring it in to your control, is a mistake.