According to my boss, the ideal programming language would allow him to scribble things onto a piece of paper, rub that piece of paper really hard on his screen

According to my boss, the ideal programming language would allow him to scribble things onto a piece of paper, rub that piece of paper really hard on his screen, and presto; programming! Coincidentally, the idea of there being a consensus on an ideal programming language is just as likely to occur.