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I fully agree with aidos. It's much more rewarding if you go to a place and live like a local. In my case I've done a few voluntary work trips, the longest I di
by amag 11y ago
I fully agree with aidos. It's much more rewarding if you go to a place and live like a local. In my case I've done a few voluntary work trips, the longest I did together with my wife and it lasted a year. I always try to learn the language in countries when I stay more than a couple of weeks. It quickly breaks the ice when you work side-by-side with the locals, trying to speak their language. You may not get to see all the main attractions in a country but you get to see and experience much more interesting things.
However, I also agree with reddytowns. Traveling like that changes you. You'll probably not notice until you return but it's quite likely you will feel disconnected from your peers, friends and family. You have changed and they have not. I would recommend anyone planning to go on a long immersive journey to consider going together with some one you like and get along well with. Then at least you will have that connection when you get back. This is important since this disconnected state could very likely be permanent. At least that's how it feels for me, it's been almost ten years since my wife and I spent a year abroad and I'd say we lost something then that we haven't been able to get back. We've spent nearly ten years back home, buying a house, raising kids and yet we don't really feel like we belong in our own country with our own families.. maybe it's just our personalities..
So in the end, would I recommend quitting your job and travel the world? I guess it depends on how well you'll handle the disconnect. The fact that your own family may feel like strangers to you.. In my case I can't really regret going, I've got too many amazing memories, too much fun with people I got to call my friends for a while. The sad part is though, you can't really go back either. Trust me I've tried. It will never be the same. Leaving and coming home changes you yet again.
- remar 11y agoCould you elaborate on what you mean when you say you feel disconnected from others when you get back? Do you mean in the sense that you feel their understanding of the world is limited compared to yours because you've seen/experienced more of it? Or in the sense that you had a different kind of fun/adventure that they'll never experience or know about?
- meric 11y agoIf you imagine everyone's personality is formed by their experience and strangers are strangers because you've had completely different experiences in your life - then by having different experiences than your family they would begin to feel more like strangers than before. It's not necessarily 'more' or 'less', I've been to half a dozen countries in SE-Asia and my cousins have been to half a dozen countries in Europe and America and I feel very disconnected from them. I went on a trip to Pakistan and on return, it's like I can strike a conversation with a Pakistani/Indian/Nepali anytime anywhere but with a Chinese or Caucasian (I'm Asian Australian)? It's harder to build rapport and feel connected in conversation. It's still possible, but I notice it takes a little more time. I think it'll even out over time, though, since I wasn't in Pakistan too long. The author of the parent comment may have a different perspective.
- heliodor 11y agoYou go to a new place and start doing things differently. You discover better ways to do things and realize people back home don't understand what they're doing. For example, in New York City, it seems the main activity for young people is to go out to bars and restaurants. You pack your bags and head somewhere tropical. You pick up a water sport like surfing or kiteboarding. You start waking up at 6am with the sunrise and realize it's amazing. Back in NYC, your awake hours were more like 10am to 2am. You start cooking at home. Now, you look back at your friends and view them as wasting their life in bars and restaurants. You start identifying with the older crowd who comes to the office at 6am or 8am instead of 11am. You also start wondering why your friends don't ever do anything outdoors. When you move, you end up with new habits. Your brain has a need to feel correct, so it views any changes as improvements; therefore, the ways of before (and of your friends) are now considered wrong, otherwise your mind experiences dissonance. You'll find a way to justify things to stop the dissonance.
- amag 11y agoYeah, I think the last paragraph probably nails it down quite well.
- amag 11y ago
- edwinyzh 11y agoI have the same question as heliodor does - what's the disconnection do you mean? Thanks.