you are fine, try to see it something is broke in your mechanism thinking this way is unnatural and a result of external influences who broke it is up for de

you are fine, try to see it something is broke in your mechanism thinking this way is unnatural and a result of external influences who broke it is up for debate but it is up to you to mend yourself you sound like you want someone to relieve you of your self imposed responsibility do something for yourself, ask yourself what that is and do it make it something that you are so sure and proud of that even if people deride you for doing it or complain that it is taking you too long you can comfortably know you are spending your time the way you should be go for long walks in your city at all hours, stumble upon unique corners that you would otherwise ignore or miss on a bike or bus or in a car, allow your mind to wander, build ideas up in your head go to a city in a developing nation far from your home and do the same achievement comparisons are superfluous thoughts, but if you need an extra jolt of energy now to start tackling your fears i present to you some highlights from the age game: Vincent Van Gogh :: * first picked up a paintbrush when he was 26.. note similarities to your own age.. * he was universally despised throughout his life.. he either sold 2 of his paintings or 5 depending on your source.. * died in poverty, but is now considered an essential element in the development of visual media Bill Withers :: * first picked up a guitar at 30, wrote some of the greatest songs sung and remixed by many musicians since and is an accredited influence to many contemporary musicians Walt Whitman :: * published only one book in his lifetime.. with five revisions.. leaves of grass at 36 * i personally think he is the greatest author ever to write.. even though i do see areas and room for improvement, yet i believe he is the best of the best.. and historically he is essential to contemporary life * without whitman we may have had to wait longer for the beats, which means we would have had to wait longer for the drug and sexual revolution of the 60s which would have meant we needed to wait longer for all of the wonderful derivatives of that movement: civil rights, gender rights, and on and on