I suffered from depression for many years and took several medications (a half-dozen SSRIs) with varying degrees of success for five years or so. The medication

I suffered from depression for many years and took several medications (a half-dozen SSRIs) with varying degrees of success for five years or so. The medications would get me energized to make some life changes that were helpful, but would not themselves serve as a permanent fix; each one would crap out after months or a year and the side effects could be unpleasant. Counseling helped me as well, but it is very important to find a counselor that you click with. Eventually I put together some life changes that helped with this -- I got married to a very supportive person -- and also begin to change a lot of habits having to do with diet and exercise. Specifically, I was raised on a very low-fat diet, and I have come to believe that consumption of healthy fats is absolutely critical to maintain a healthy mood and resilience in people who are prone to depression. Now I would say I see myself as "depressive" in that my lifelong tendency is still towards anxiety and depression, but none of my recent experiences have brought me to the dark and suicidal points I was at fifteen years ago. I would urge you to seek out a counselor and consider hacking your own lifestyle with improvements in diet and exercise, assuming you are basically physically healthy otherwise -- and you should rule out somatic problems like thyroid or other chronic issues that might be causing this.