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I think you've lost the thread. The problem I described as solved was "I can't get a date that matches my extremely specific qualifications". And yes, if that w

I think you've lost the thread. The problem I described as solved was "I can't get a date that matches my extremely specific qualifications". And yes, if that was my son's problem, I'd tell him to either lift and be awesome or accept being forever alone. As for requiring some specific experience to be a good parent, I find the idea a bit ridiculous. There are a variety of problems I haven't experienced and likely can't solve for my son. Experiencing racism from the larger society is, while not something I can solve, something I have experienced. So what?

anigbrowl 12y ago
Hmmm. Original article talks about the difficulty of black women finding partners of their own race for family formation. You observe that a solution to this has been legal since 1967 (obviously referring to Loving v. Virginia) and that the potentially resulting babies are cute. I suggest that this is not such a simple issue, because the babies in question would still have to deal with structural racism later in life. Now you switch to saying that the problem was black women saying "I can't get a date that matches my extremely specific qualifications". So finding a life partner is now just a matter of getting a date, and preferring someone of your own race is now an 'extremely specific qualification'...and you think I've lost the thread? And yes, if that was my son's problem, I'd tell him to either lift and be awesome or accept being forever alone. The hypothetical problem I presented was 'Dad, quite a lot of people express hostility towards me on the basis that I'm black. Help me out.' as opposed to 'I can't get a date that matches my extremely specific qualifications.' While the latter problem could be an instance of the former, they're far from being identical. You'll forgive me if I don't go the effort of providing Venn diagrams to support this claim. As for requiring some specific experience to be a good parent, I find the idea a bit ridiculous. That's not what I'm suggesting, and is wholly an invention on your part. What I said was that you don't seem to have through through the sort of problems that your offspring would be likely to encounter; my thesis is that this lack of apparent concern would be a major disincentive to marriage for a lot of black women insofar as they're looking beyond their short-term personal desire and thinking about things like family formation...as discussed in the original article.
- yummyfajitas 12y ago
  I suggest that this is not such a simple issue, because the babies in question would still have to deal with structural racism later in life. So would the children of two black parents. So no benefit there. ...and preferring someone of your own race is now an 'extremely specific qualification'...and you think I've lost the thread? Given that 20% of the people who want this will be forever alone, yes it is. The hypothetical problem I presented was 'Dad, quite a lot of people express hostility towards me on the basis that I'm black. Help me out.' as opposed to... I'll remind you that you asked whether I would "Tell him that it's a solved problem" - recall that according to me, the solved problem is "I want to date a person satisfying $rare_condition but I can't find such people, so now I'm forever alone". Has nothing to do with third parties being unkind. Also note: a black parent can't fix racism by third parties either. So again, no benefit to intra-racial marriage. What I said was that you don't seem to have through through the sort of problems that your offspring would be likely to encounter; my thesis is that this lack of apparent concern...family formation... I'm not quite sure why you come to the conclusion that either I or family oriented non-black men have not thought through some particular problem. Could you explain? (My post is fairly agnostic on this issue, which is why my attempt at a charitable interpretation led me in the direction of shared experiences.)
  - anigbrowl 12y ago
    recall that according to me, the solved problem is "I want to date a person satisfying $rare_condition but I can't find such people, so now I'm forever alone" Redrafting the premise after someone has disputed your conclusion looks awfully like an attempt to move the goalposts, and this isn't the first time I've had this argument with you. If that's not your intention, then I strongly suggest you put more effort into into articulating such assumptions up front. Since you didn't bother, I naturally assumed that the problem you were declaring to be solved was the one discussed in the article, rather than your highly idiosyncratic view of it.

anigbrowl 12y ago

Hmmm. Original article talks about the difficulty of black women finding partners of their own race for family formation. You observe that a solution to this has been legal since 1967 (obviously referring to Loving v. Virginia) and that the potentially resulting babies are cute. I suggest that this is not such a simple issue, because the babies in question would still have to deal with structural racism later in life. Now you switch to saying that the problem was black women saying "I can't get a date that matches my extremely specific qualifications". So finding a life partner is now just a matter of getting a date, and preferring someone of your own race is now an 'extremely specific qualification'...and you think I've lost the thread? And yes, if that was my son's problem, I'd tell him to either lift and be awesome or accept being forever alone. The hypothetical problem I presented was 'Dad, quite a lot of people express hostility towards me on the basis that I'm black. Help me out.' as opposed to 'I can't get a date that matches my extremely specific qualifications.' While the latter problem could be an instance of the former, they're far from being identical. You'll forgive me if I don't go the effort of providing Venn diagrams to support this claim. As for requiring some specific experience to be a good parent, I find the idea a bit ridiculous. That's not what I'm suggesting, and is wholly an invention on your part. What I said was that you don't seem to have through through the sort of problems that your offspring would be likely to encounter; my thesis is that this lack of apparent concern would be a major disincentive to marriage for a lot of black women insofar as they're looking beyond their short-term personal desire and thinking about things like family formation...as discussed in the original article.

yummyfajitas 12y ago
I suggest that this is not such a simple issue, because the babies in question would still have to deal with structural racism later in life. So would the children of two black parents. So no benefit there. ...and preferring someone of your own race is now an 'extremely specific qualification'...and you think I've lost the thread? Given that 20% of the people who want this will be forever alone, yes it is. The hypothetical problem I presented was 'Dad, quite a lot of people express hostility towards me on the basis that I'm black. Help me out.' as opposed to... I'll remind you that you asked whether I would "Tell him that it's a solved problem" - recall that according to me, the solved problem is "I want to date a person satisfying $rare_condition but I can't find such people, so now I'm forever alone". Has nothing to do with third parties being unkind. Also note: a black parent can't fix racism by third parties either. So again, no benefit to intra-racial marriage. What I said was that you don't seem to have through through the sort of problems that your offspring would be likely to encounter; my thesis is that this lack of apparent concern...family formation... I'm not quite sure why you come to the conclusion that either I or family oriented non-black men have not thought through some particular problem. Could you explain? (My post is fairly agnostic on this issue, which is why my attempt at a charitable interpretation led me in the direction of shared experiences.)
- anigbrowl 12y ago
  recall that according to me, the solved problem is "I want to date a person satisfying $rare_condition but I can't find such people, so now I'm forever alone" Redrafting the premise after someone has disputed your conclusion looks awfully like an attempt to move the goalposts, and this isn't the first time I've had this argument with you. If that's not your intention, then I strongly suggest you put more effort into into articulating such assumptions up front. Since you didn't bother, I naturally assumed that the problem you were declaring to be solved was the one discussed in the article, rather than your highly idiosyncratic view of it.