The problem with the "win friends and influence people" method is that some people just listen to the positive parts and go right on their way never improving.

The problem with the "win friends and influence people" method is that some people just listen to the positive parts and go right on their way never improving. We aren't selling cars nor running for office where "win friends" is particularly useful. I'm also not saying we should be deliberately nasty or personally demeaning. But we shouldn't let shit pass just to be nice either. There is far too much of that nonsense in the world, and the net effect of it is a theft from everyone. We should try to be our best. We should ask others to be their best. We should always be positive and helpful and teach others what we can. But we should also be direct when something is wrong and we know better. This in the best interest of the person, the project and the organization. The ability to give and to accept honest criticism with the goal of improvement is unfortunately strikingly rare. When we don't know better we should keep our mouths shut rather than bluffing and blustering our way along. If I had 10 bucks for every loudmouth know-nothing trying to impress everyone or score political points I have met in life I'd be rich. The tech scene is particularly full of these kind of blowhards in my experience. Some people have a hard time telling the difference between positive honest criticism and ego driving showing off. And some people just plain don't know what they are talking about but talk anyway. This kind particularly needs to be called out in the most direct manner possible for the best interest of everyone involved.