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Yesterday I needed to run some errands and it hit me pretty hard how silly we've become. My seven year daughter didn't want to come with me and while I'm sure

Yesterday I needed to run some errands and it hit me pretty hard how silly we've become. My seven year daughter didn't want to come with me and while I'm sure she's mature enough to stay at home by herself I went to Google to determine if I'd be viewed as a criminal or not in the eyes of my parenting peers or the state. It turned out that my local child protective services had a Q&A on their site stating that it's okay to leave a child home alone at age 11. I then went to my city and state statutes and couldn't find a single law which said it would be illegal. After a bit more research I found plenty of parents recommending that kids not only can, but should be left home alone if they are okay with it. This helps to build independence and self-esteem. I ended up leaving her at home alone for about an hour and not a single bad thing happened.

jobu 12y ago
No idea where it came from, but we've been told that up to one hour alone per grade level is a good rule of thumb.
- falsestprophet 12y ago
  I heard that too from a uninformed internet commenter.
bane 12y ago
We used to have the notion of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latchkey_kid https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latchkey_kid I grew up with both parents working long hours, and I was definitely a Latchkey kid. From the time I got home until right before dinner I was usually alone to do what I wanted. I think for a few years, when I was 6 or 7, my mother required I call her every hour as a check-in, but even that relaxed by the time I was 8 or 9. My only requirement was to be home by dark, regardless of the time of year and if parents were home. Curiously, my parents would also occasionally hire a babysitter, but I never quite understood why and what for. It was pretty random.
DanBC 12y ago
Homes are pretty dangerous and sometimes children do stupid things. While child protective services shouldn't be called[1] for someone leaving a child for a short time CPS needs to have clear and easy to communicate guidelines. They might want to say "11 and up; unless they're not stupid and the home is safe and you're not gone too long" but, well, the target audience needs clearer information. [1] it'd be good if we had a "report early, report often" culture and the funding to go with it. A single report of a mild incident means nothing happens; several reports of mild incidents from different agencies means a freindly chat to see if help is needed or wanted.
- abfan1127 12y ago
  no they don't. we don't need them telling us when our children are responsible enough for particular tasks. When our first reaction is "is this illegal" we've gone too far. When bad laws influence good parents, its wrong and needs to be repealed immediately.
  - DanBC 12y ago
    The first reaction a parent should have to "I might leave my child at home for a few hours" absolutely should be "is it safe?" CPS is not there for parents who know how to assess risk. They exist for parents who by definition are bad parents. Those parents need simplistic advice, with the threat of legal action. The fact that CPS overstepped their bounds in a few cases is bad, and needs to stop, but it doesn't change the fact that the advice needs to be clear and simple. And government totally should be trying to influence parents. I guarantee that their are some kind loving parents reading HN right now who do not have working tested fitted smoke detectors. Government here should be playing persuasive adverts; subsidising the costs of smoke detectors; providing assistance to fit those detectors; regulating the manufacture of detectors so we know they work. The thing that has annoyed me about the discussions of these cases is that people are only talking about the disruption to this family's life. The real outrage is CPS wasting time on non abusive parents when so many children are raped and murdered. An estimate 1600 children died as a rssult of abuse or neglect from a primary care giver in 2012; that doesn't count murders by other family members. I fully stand by my comment that the home is a dangerous place for children. Home is where children are murdered by family members; physically, sexually or emotionally abused by family members (and siblings are the greatest risk of being the abuser); most accidents happen in the home. Children can't get jobs; can't vote; are not held criminally responsible for their actions[1] -- so parents should be thinking carefully before they leave children alone in the house.

jobu 12y ago

No idea where it came from, but we've been told that up to one hour alone per grade level is a good rule of thumb.

falsestprophet 12y ago
I heard that too from a uninformed internet commenter.

bane 12y ago

We used to have the notion of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latchkey_kid https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latchkey_kid I grew up with both parents working long hours, and I was definitely a Latchkey kid. From the time I got home until right before dinner I was usually alone to do what I wanted. I think for a few years, when I was 6 or 7, my mother required I call her every hour as a check-in, but even that relaxed by the time I was 8 or 9. My only requirement was to be home by dark, regardless of the time of year and if parents were home. Curiously, my parents would also occasionally hire a babysitter, but I never quite understood why and what for. It was pretty random.

DanBC 12y ago

Homes are pretty dangerous and sometimes children do stupid things. While child protective services shouldn't be called[1] for someone leaving a child for a short time CPS needs to have clear and easy to communicate guidelines. They might want to say "11 and up; unless they're not stupid and the home is safe and you're not gone too long" but, well, the target audience needs clearer information. [1] it'd be good if we had a "report early, report often" culture and the funding to go with it. A single report of a mild incident means nothing happens; several reports of mild incidents from different agencies means a freindly chat to see if help is needed or wanted.

abfan1127 12y ago
no they don't. we don't need them telling us when our children are responsible enough for particular tasks. When our first reaction is "is this illegal" we've gone too far. When bad laws influence good parents, its wrong and needs to be repealed immediately.
- DanBC 12y ago
  The first reaction a parent should have to "I might leave my child at home for a few hours" absolutely should be "is it safe?" CPS is not there for parents who know how to assess risk. They exist for parents who by definition are bad parents. Those parents need simplistic advice, with the threat of legal action. The fact that CPS overstepped their bounds in a few cases is bad, and needs to stop, but it doesn't change the fact that the advice needs to be clear and simple. And government totally should be trying to influence parents. I guarantee that their are some kind loving parents reading HN right now who do not have working tested fitted smoke detectors. Government here should be playing persuasive adverts; subsidising the costs of smoke detectors; providing assistance to fit those detectors; regulating the manufacture of detectors so we know they work. The thing that has annoyed me about the discussions of these cases is that people are only talking about the disruption to this family's life. The real outrage is CPS wasting time on non abusive parents when so many children are raped and murdered. An estimate 1600 children died as a rssult of abuse or neglect from a primary care giver in 2012; that doesn't count murders by other family members. I fully stand by my comment that the home is a dangerous place for children. Home is where children are murdered by family members; physically, sexually or emotionally abused by family members (and siblings are the greatest risk of being the abuser); most accidents happen in the home. Children can't get jobs; can't vote; are not held criminally responsible for their actions[1] -- so parents should be thinking carefully before they leave children alone in the house.