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No One Is Self-Made – What Fatherhood Taught Me About the American Dream

11 points by MediaSquirrel 11y ago

gscott 11y ago
Parenting is a huge job, you have to give this new person everything they need to survive life. This is pretty much all inclusive from tutoring, personal growth, overcoming issues, being successful in relationships, creating the scenarios their first accomplishments come under they feel are their own but really you set them up to be successful and gave them something that they could really chew on successfully setting them up for their next success, and their next success and so on.
jklein11 11y ago
The graph demonstrating the different levels in education was interesting. At first I thought there most be some mistake, because one field was high school education or less and the other was college education or more, but the two lines didn't add up to 100%. I realized that the cause for this is people who started college but did not graduate. Because the bachelors degree or greater line stayed the same this must mean that less people have started college. I'm not entirely convinced that this is the case.
NTDF9 11y ago
This is also what I observed when I compared my life with my younger brother's life. While growing up, I was surrounded by a peer group of high achievers. I had a generally stable home environment and my reading, math and writing abilities were better than class average. My younger brother on the other hand never had that peer group. His best friends were bullies and destined to be jocks. He was never into reading, math and writing. This shows in his grades. What really helped my brother not get sucked into the usual teen bullshit is a good home environment and constant reminder that other kids are not necessarily doing the right thing. Peer group and family background are pretty much the strongest indicators of future success in life. Also, they are a great indicator of a potential mate. I pretty much use this as a yardstick while dating these days.
- eevilspock 11y ago
  You had me until you said, "Also, they are a great indicator of a potential mate. I pretty much use this as a yardstick while dating these days." Compare to a key point in the article: Over the last 40 years, college-educated, rich Americans have clustered together, enjoying all manner of positive network effects much like the ones I just described. Americans without college degrees are living together too, suffering from the same sort of network effects, except in reverse: crime, drug use, low expectations and bad schools. So by rejecting potential mates who are not so lucky as you, and even encouraging others to do the same, you are furthering the clustering of the lucky and the unlucky, furthering the gap in inequality, adding to the tragic Mathew Effect the defines our world.
  - BrainInAJar 11y ago
    > So by rejecting potential mates who are not so lucky as you, and even encouraging others to do the same, you are furthering the clustering of the lucky and the unlucky, furthering the gap in inequality, adding to the tragic Mathew Effect the defines our world. You're proposing we ought to 'take one for the team' and date people who we have nothing in common with and don't necessarily respect (in as much as their life hasn't led them to be as high achieving as them) ?
    - eevilspock 11y ago
      No, I'm saying look beyond the "indicators" and "peer groups", and look at the individual person. I personally would have far more respect for someone who bucked the odds and fought for everything she had than for someone who is "high achieving" but got there relatively easily on a path well paved (if not paved with gold). I also find that people who made it through a hard early life tend to be less spoiled and selfish, to be more sympathetic to the plights of others, and to have a greater capacity for love and trust, and to know what's really important in life.
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  - 11y ago

11 points by MediaSquirrel 11y ago

Parenting is a huge job, you have to give this new person everything they need to survive life. This is pretty much all inclusive from tutoring, personal growth, overcoming issues, being successful in relationships, creating the scenarios their first accomplishments come under they feel are their own but really you set them up to be successful and gave them something that they could really chew on successfully setting them up for their next success, and their next success and so on.

jklein11 11y ago

The graph demonstrating the different levels in education was interesting. At first I thought there most be some mistake, because one field was high school education or less and the other was college education or more, but the two lines didn't add up to 100%. I realized that the cause for this is people who started college but did not graduate. Because the bachelors degree or greater line stayed the same this must mean that less people have started college. I'm not entirely convinced that this is the case.

NTDF9 11y ago

This is also what I observed when I compared my life with my younger brother's life. While growing up, I was surrounded by a peer group of high achievers. I had a generally stable home environment and my reading, math and writing abilities were better than class average. My younger brother on the other hand never had that peer group. His best friends were bullies and destined to be jocks. He was never into reading, math and writing. This shows in his grades. What really helped my brother not get sucked into the usual teen bullshit is a good home environment and constant reminder that other kids are not necessarily doing the right thing. Peer group and family background are pretty much the strongest indicators of future success in life. Also, they are a great indicator of a potential mate. I pretty much use this as a yardstick while dating these days.

eevilspock 11y ago
You had me until you said, "Also, they are a great indicator of a potential mate. I pretty much use this as a yardstick while dating these days." Compare to a key point in the article: Over the last 40 years, college-educated, rich Americans have clustered together, enjoying all manner of positive network effects much like the ones I just described. Americans without college degrees are living together too, suffering from the same sort of network effects, except in reverse: crime, drug use, low expectations and bad schools. So by rejecting potential mates who are not so lucky as you, and even encouraging others to do the same, you are furthering the clustering of the lucky and the unlucky, furthering the gap in inequality, adding to the tragic Mathew Effect the defines our world.
- BrainInAJar 11y ago
  > So by rejecting potential mates who are not so lucky as you, and even encouraging others to do the same, you are furthering the clustering of the lucky and the unlucky, furthering the gap in inequality, adding to the tragic Mathew Effect the defines our world. You're proposing we ought to 'take one for the team' and date people who we have nothing in common with and don't necessarily respect (in as much as their life hasn't led them to be as high achieving as them) ?
  - eevilspock 11y ago
    No, I'm saying look beyond the "indicators" and "peer groups", and look at the individual person. I personally would have far more respect for someone who bucked the odds and fought for everything she had than for someone who is "high achieving" but got there relatively easily on a path well paved (if not paved with gold). I also find that people who made it through a hard early life tend to be less spoiled and selfish, to be more sympathetic to the plights of others, and to have a greater capacity for love and trust, and to know what's really important in life.
- deleted 11y ago
  [deleted]
- 11y ago