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"never appear more relaxed than your boss." This is so true and has gotten me into trouble many times. I'm highly focused, I worry a lot about the downside, I

"never appear more relaxed than your boss." This is so true and has gotten me into trouble many times. I'm highly focused, I worry a lot about the downside, I work hard but my calm exterior and relaxed, aproachable manner has led this type of comment: "You're a pretty laid back kind of character, aren't you". Meant as a criticism, not compliment. I hate it. Not sure what to do about it. Submit to the corporate BS, or startup on my own with my own rules.

mhurron 12y ago
Stop being a slave to looks. I'm as laid back as I can be. I don't panic when something happens. Yes, I've had management get mad at me for not screaming in a panic with them, but I don't care. Of course, I don't care about their profits either or how they look to their boss. Yes, that makes some management types annoyed that you don't sell your soul to the company. Show up, do your job well. If you do you will be calmer. You are just there to do the job you were hired for. Stop caring so much about anything else.
- maemilius 12y ago
  I think that reflects more poorly on you than you might think. Not because you're calm and laid back but because you don't care. If you're working a job that doesn't excite or, at least, interest you, you're not doing anyone any favors by continuing to work that job. Do yourself a favor and find something you like to do and a place you like to do it in.
  - alchemism 12y ago
    "Choose a job you love and never work a day in your life." That is probably a cliche for a few good reasons.
    - kyllo 12y ago
      "...because that field isn't hiring" would be the punchline.
  - mhurron 12y ago
    > I think that reflects more poorly on you Only if you are interested in climbing the corporate ladder. And I don't care about that. Yes I suppose it's bad that I'm not passionate about making money, heaven forbid.
    - bkeroack 12y ago
      You're advocating simply refusing to participate in the game, which may be a good choice for you personally but probably isn't applicable more broadly. As an overly-extreme example, imagine if a woman responded to sexual harassment by refusing to ever get a job again. It may have solved the problem for her, but it's not good advice to give someone experiencing the same thing.
  - jsudhams 12y ago
    i think he is still working, i am not what this compulsion being sincere to corporation. I can sincere to the monay paid and get the job done for that. I dont have an interest in making money for the CEO. If the corporations are so good CxO should be get less money and share that with other in company and community. When they limit thier profit sharing why should we not limit how much value we provide to them. Why we should give our life to company.
  - saiya-jin 12y ago
    why does everything need to be black or white? development is nice, has creative heureka parts that few other jobs have, but it's just a freaking job, nothing more! life has so many more interesting things to offer (travelling, adventures, family, friend, you name it), that it would be shame to miss on them (and later regret, like so many work-wise successful people do when old).
Jimmy 12y ago
What exactly would submitting to the corporate BS get you? A promotion, the recognition of your current batch of co-workers? Are you really the kind of person who cares about such things? Do you need more money, are you afraid you might be fired? No? Then what's there to worry about? At any rate, it sounds like option 2 is more up your alley.
- saiya-jin 12y ago
  I am (still) quite surprised how many otherwise grown up and fully mature people have internal fears that drive their lives so much. Issues from childhood (pushy parents, school bullies, etc) or from growing up can leave strong scars. Heck, even I am not 100% scratch-free, albeit apparently much better than many peers. Many people are chasing careers although extra cash doesn't really makes any impact in their lives, and they lose a lot by earning them (fun at work, extra pressure/time from more senior positions). By all means, if that's something that you enjoy doing, go for it! But money is probably the last thing to consider
savanaly 12y ago
I was laid off from my first software job and this definitely contributed. I am more careful about how laid back I appear now.
kyllo 12y ago
Be laid-back in a way that projects the "don't worry, I got this" type of calmness, as opposed to the apathetic type. There's a clear difference, and the former will earn you trust from management.

mhurron 12y ago

Stop being a slave to looks. I'm as laid back as I can be. I don't panic when something happens. Yes, I've had management get mad at me for not screaming in a panic with them, but I don't care. Of course, I don't care about their profits either or how they look to their boss. Yes, that makes some management types annoyed that you don't sell your soul to the company. Show up, do your job well. If you do you will be calmer. You are just there to do the job you were hired for. Stop caring so much about anything else.

maemilius 12y ago
I think that reflects more poorly on you than you might think. Not because you're calm and laid back but because you don't care. If you're working a job that doesn't excite or, at least, interest you, you're not doing anyone any favors by continuing to work that job. Do yourself a favor and find something you like to do and a place you like to do it in.
- alchemism 12y ago
  "Choose a job you love and never work a day in your life." That is probably a cliche for a few good reasons.
  - kyllo 12y ago
    "...because that field isn't hiring" would be the punchline.
- mhurron 12y ago
  > I think that reflects more poorly on you Only if you are interested in climbing the corporate ladder. And I don't care about that. Yes I suppose it's bad that I'm not passionate about making money, heaven forbid.
  - bkeroack 12y ago
    You're advocating simply refusing to participate in the game, which may be a good choice for you personally but probably isn't applicable more broadly. As an overly-extreme example, imagine if a woman responded to sexual harassment by refusing to ever get a job again. It may have solved the problem for her, but it's not good advice to give someone experiencing the same thing.
- jsudhams 12y ago
  i think he is still working, i am not what this compulsion being sincere to corporation. I can sincere to the monay paid and get the job done for that. I dont have an interest in making money for the CEO. If the corporations are so good CxO should be get less money and share that with other in company and community. When they limit thier profit sharing why should we not limit how much value we provide to them. Why we should give our life to company.
- saiya-jin 12y ago
  why does everything need to be black or white? development is nice, has creative heureka parts that few other jobs have, but it's just a freaking job, nothing more! life has so many more interesting things to offer (travelling, adventures, family, friend, you name it), that it would be shame to miss on them (and later regret, like so many work-wise successful people do when old).

Jimmy 12y ago

What exactly would submitting to the corporate BS get you? A promotion, the recognition of your current batch of co-workers? Are you really the kind of person who cares about such things? Do you need more money, are you afraid you might be fired? No? Then what's there to worry about? At any rate, it sounds like option 2 is more up your alley.

saiya-jin 12y ago
I am (still) quite surprised how many otherwise grown up and fully mature people have internal fears that drive their lives so much. Issues from childhood (pushy parents, school bullies, etc) or from growing up can leave strong scars. Heck, even I am not 100% scratch-free, albeit apparently much better than many peers. Many people are chasing careers although extra cash doesn't really makes any impact in their lives, and they lose a lot by earning them (fun at work, extra pressure/time from more senior positions). By all means, if that's something that you enjoy doing, go for it! But money is probably the last thing to consider

savanaly 12y ago

I was laid off from my first software job and this definitely contributed. I am more careful about how laid back I appear now.

kyllo 12y ago

Be laid-back in a way that projects the "don't worry, I got this" type of calmness, as opposed to the apathetic type. There's a clear difference, and the former will earn you trust from management.