I have to second the "tell your wife" part. If she is supportive, you two can find a solution that makes your whole family happy in the long run. And for the

I have to second the "tell your wife" part. If she is supportive, you two can find a solution that makes your whole family happy in the long run. And for the lost sheep, it sound like you really need a different job. I have a job with a long commute, but a great boss and that's hard enough. In my opinion, it's just not worth the stress. I'm not sure how to answer the money part. At least you've recognized there is a problem and can now try to address it through savings, lifestyle change, etc.