First off - try to realise and embrace the fact that these situation don't last forever. I love the phrase "this too shall pass" because it's pithy and accurate

First off - try to realise and embrace the fact that these situation don't last forever. I love the phrase "this too shall pass" because it's pithy and accurate. It sounds like your first step though is to find a better job - better boss/more interesting work/closer to home/ less travel etc.) That will give you more time away from your family. This alone can have a massive impact. I commuted 4 hours a day to a client's site almost every working day for close to 2 years on a single project and at the end of that - when I returned back to the office - 30 minutes from my house - I felt like I was on holiday! Even with a new project underway the de-stress was enormous. You may have to take a financial drop in take home pay but it will give you space for you to evaluate your longer term options more calmly, under less mental stress and away from a work relationship that is clearly not pleasant for you. I think it's pretty common for these feelings but at least you've recognised them, some people aren't even able to do that. I think it's also pretty common during your 40s to feel like this - I did and still do - and I know a LOT of people in a similar position. I think noonespecial's advice about sharing these feelings with your family is good and also about seeking mental health advice.