Wow, this is a really touching question. Thank you for your courage. It's inspiring. My advice is follows. I would recommend a programming language with the si

Wow, this is a really touching question. Thank you for your courage. It's inspiring. My advice is follows. I would recommend a programming language with the simplest syntax, without the unnecessary policing that most languages entail. Begin with the lambda calculus, or better yet combinatory logic. The best book to slowly work through is "To Mock a Mockingbird", by Raymond Smullyan. After that you'll have a conception of what computation is. All computation is is substituting something in place of something else, or forgetting it, in a systematic way. From that point, you can move to something like the programming language Racket, which has a very simple syntax that is close to the lambda calculus. After this, you ought to be experienced enough to follow whatever path you wish to, for example understanding Javascript and how HTML on a webpage is scripted by it in response to user actions. My best wishes to you.