I know this does not apply to all situations, but if your circumstances allow (and spouse is on board) - delay having children until you have these answers. Or

I know this does not apply to all situations, but if your circumstances allow (and spouse is on board) - delay having children until you have these answers. Or at least understand that you don't have all the answers (and may never) early as possible. That way it does not sneak up on you. Think stoically about the future and be mindful of the present.