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I am 40 this year, and while I don't want to kill myself, I understand the feeling of having failed. It is even stronger (IMHO) if you work in start-up/tech bec

by LBarret 12y ago

I am 40 this year, and while I don't want to kill myself, I understand the feeling of having failed. It is even stronger (IMHO) if you work in start-up/tech because you're either millionaire or... obsolete. Finding inner peace is important for anybody, but even more critical at 40.

plongeur 12y ago
Why do you think you have failed? Because the superficial rule set of your surrounding social group dictates so? If you don't harm other people and every now and then make someone happy or smile - then you did not, do not and will not fail! Guys like Donald Trump are failures [1] - you most likely are not. Do something to reshift perspectives if you're stuck in one that makes you feel so bad about your life that you even associate this with the subject at hand. Travelling, reading, moving, meditating, ... [1]: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1943873/ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1943873/
- nailer 12y ago
  Donald Trump is an obviously insecure man, so he's pretty low value even by the aforementioned superficial rule set.
  - spacemanmatt 12y ago
    Man, you really nailed it (see what I did there?) about insecurity. He broadcasts it.
toyg 12y ago
I'm 36 and I know what you mean, but I think this "success" stuff is the male equivalent of "being beautiful": something that society relentlessly pushes on us, which we should probably reject from first principles.
- noir_lord 12y ago
  I'm 35 and I couldn't give a flying balls about success or what society wants (never really have). Life is literally too short to care.
brc 12y ago
Dealing with failure gets tougher as you get older, just because you being to understand you have a limited set of 'resets' available, and each one is going to be tougher. Growing ageism in the tech industry is a massive concern, however. But relearning the new thing every couple of years gets very old, so I completely understand how it happens. Inner peace is the key - as you say - you have to give some missed goals the virtual Viking burial and let go of them. But I think you also need to set new goals or risk losing direction altogether.

by LBarret 12y ago

plongeur 12y ago

Why do you think you have failed? Because the superficial rule set of your surrounding social group dictates so? If you don't harm other people and every now and then make someone happy or smile - then you did not, do not and will not fail! Guys like Donald Trump are failures [1] - you most likely are not. Do something to reshift perspectives if you're stuck in one that makes you feel so bad about your life that you even associate this with the subject at hand. Travelling, reading, moving, meditating, ... [1]: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1943873/ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1943873/

nailer 12y ago
Donald Trump is an obviously insecure man, so he's pretty low value even by the aforementioned superficial rule set.
- spacemanmatt 12y ago
  Man, you really nailed it (see what I did there?) about insecurity. He broadcasts it.

toyg 12y ago

I'm 36 and I know what you mean, but I think this "success" stuff is the male equivalent of "being beautiful": something that society relentlessly pushes on us, which we should probably reject from first principles.

noir_lord 12y ago
I'm 35 and I couldn't give a flying balls about success or what society wants (never really have). Life is literally too short to care.

brc 12y ago

Dealing with failure gets tougher as you get older, just because you being to understand you have a limited set of 'resets' available, and each one is going to be tougher. Growing ageism in the tech industry is a massive concern, however. But relearning the new thing every couple of years gets very old, so I completely understand how it happens. Inner peace is the key - as you say - you have to give some missed goals the virtual Viking burial and let go of them. But I think you also need to set new goals or risk losing direction altogether.