Your reply is helpful to me, to clarify my own thinking. Thank you. Let's continue with the hypothetical that I presented. We have a man who is shirking his r

Your reply is helpful to me, to clarify my own thinking. Thank you. Let's continue with the hypothetical that I presented. We have a man who is shirking his responsibility to his wife and to his children. Presumably, his wife did not sign up for the deal she now has when she married him (and if she did, it's on her, then, but I'm assuming she did not) and the children, of course, had no role in the decision making. Does the man who ignores the responsibilities he freely chose develop or improve his sense of self-esteem, by sitting home and playing video games? Does he come to view himself as more and more competent to make his way in the world? I would say he does not. I would expect that, by his own estimate, he will come to consider himself less and less worthy of honor and respect. I don't know that he would admit this to anyone, but I think his estimate of himself would decline. Now, consider his wife. Should she consider him worthy of honor and respect? Is she acting with integrity if she fakes something she doesn't really believe? I would say that his wife would have less esteem for him over time, that she would come to resent him, and that this would have a negative effect on her view of him as worthy of honor and respect. Finally, I would say that I am not out to shame people, but if someone does act unjustly, I think they should bear the consequences of their decisions.