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The main takeaway for me is that people forget how to be frugal. Hopefully I'll leave grad school having learned more than just CS - given how I spend these da

by endtime 17y ago

The main takeaway for me is that people forget how to be frugal. Hopefully I'll leave grad school having learned more than just CS - given how I spend these days, I can't imagine ever blowing that kind of cash while unemployed.

henrikschroder 17y ago
A lot of people never learn it in the first place.
gaius 17y ago
Well, it's more complicated than that. The thing people fear most is the destruction of their self-image: finding out they are not who they thought they were, or everyone finding out that they aren't. Most times when you see someone do something that's utterly inexplicable given the facts - like, having no income but continuing to spend frivolously - this is the mechanism in action. The "executive" has come to associate themselves with the physical trappings of success - the car, the suits, the watch, and so on. Letting go means admitting failure, means admitting that their life was just a facade. It may sound shallow, but it's not an entirely negative thing. A fireman enters a burning building, he's afraid sure, but his self-identity is the hero, he's not going to back down, he's more afraid of the shame.
- endtime 17y ago
  Makes sense, and I agree that there are utilitarian benefits (e.g. firemen), but it's a pretty shallow life. Maybe it's because I define myself more by my thoughts and values than my actions, but I can't imagine questioning my identity because I got laid off.
JeremyStein 17y ago
It's not a matter of skipping Starbucks, buying clothes from a department store, and having a "staycation". When you're paying $3000/mo for your mortgage, $1000/mo on school tuition, $800/mo on your car lease, etc. you can't cut your expenses without making major changes. And, if you expect to get a job in the next few months, it doesn't make sense to move to a bad neighborhood, transfer to public school, and buy a used car.

by endtime 17y ago

henrikschroder 17y ago

A lot of people never learn it in the first place.

gaius 17y ago

Well, it's more complicated than that. The thing people fear most is the destruction of their self-image: finding out they are not who they thought they were, or everyone finding out that they aren't. Most times when you see someone do something that's utterly inexplicable given the facts - like, having no income but continuing to spend frivolously - this is the mechanism in action. The "executive" has come to associate themselves with the physical trappings of success - the car, the suits, the watch, and so on. Letting go means admitting failure, means admitting that their life was just a facade. It may sound shallow, but it's not an entirely negative thing. A fireman enters a burning building, he's afraid sure, but his self-identity is the hero, he's not going to back down, he's more afraid of the shame.

endtime 17y ago
Makes sense, and I agree that there are utilitarian benefits (e.g. firemen), but it's a pretty shallow life. Maybe it's because I define myself more by my thoughts and values than my actions, but I can't imagine questioning my identity because I got laid off.

JeremyStein 17y ago

It's not a matter of skipping Starbucks, buying clothes from a department store, and having a "staycation". When you're paying $3000/mo for your mortgage, $1000/mo on school tuition, $800/mo on your car lease, etc. you can't cut your expenses without making major changes. And, if you expect to get a job in the next few months, it doesn't make sense to move to a bad neighborhood, transfer to public school, and buy a used car.