I'm nearly forty years old. I can't claim that I don't ever feel the way you do. But honestly, those feelings come to me only rarely now. Behind the things y

I'm nearly forty years old. I can't claim that I don't ever feel the way you do. But honestly, those feelings come to me only rarely now. Behind the things you have written is a motivation you don't realize. You are trying to win the approval of other people. At some point in your life you will realize there is not much point in impressing people. They are just like you. Mostly they are concerned about their own lives. No matter what you do, people will only think about you for a small moment of time, and then their own lives will be most important again. So why do you care so much about these external things that impress other people for only a short moment in time? Anyone that is famous, that writes about fame, admits its kind of a burden and not much benefit. The primary benefit of fame and notoriety is in finding mates and collaborators. But even with modest levels of success you can cultivate those things, without the psychic burden of trying to impress people all the time. Trying to impress everyone is an endless treadmill. Even if you get some success, there will be a little man in your head that tells you that you are successful only because of luck. You'll want to reach up for the next rung on the ladder.