Sigh. I'm so sorry you feel this way. My demons are different but I often feel the same intolerance for them. There is a very harsh and critical voice in you. I

Sigh. I'm so sorry you feel this way. My demons are different but I often feel the same intolerance for them. There is a very harsh and critical voice in you. In these cases I ask myself, whose voice is this? How did this develop? You can't accomplish anything with a conflicted, unfocused mind. Without kindness to yourself, you can't be healthy enough to be productive. If you want to unlock the stamina and inspiration to build the life you're aspiring towards, you need to understand yourself and your mind and how you work and how to make it work. It sounds like you're trying to dictate when maybe a listening and trial/error approach with a kinder and gentler disposition would be more effective.