3 ms·

Experienced this last week. Felt trapped and didn't know how to politely get away.

moron4hire 12y ago
It's been a problem often enough that I've had to learn how to just walk away. Say something like, "thanks, good bye" if you can't just walk away. They don't know the difference between polite chit-chat and real interest, and they don't know the difference between politely and rudely ending the conversation, which mostly works to your advantage. They might make a scene, but unfortunately you sometimes lose the little gambles of life. I really like it when the events include a brief, round-circle intro period. Some general behavioral signs that I try to avoid: 1) bodily or facial ticks, like hand contortions. 2) obvious poor hygiene, like greasy, dandruffy hair or food stains around the mouth or on the shirt, very wrinkled clothing, shirt only half tucked. 3) very bad fashion sense, i.e. dirty sneakers with khaki pants (AKA The Ugliest Pants Known to Man) and a polo shirt (AKA The Ugliest Shirt Known to Man), or cargo shorts (pulled up too high) and conference swag t-shirt at an event where everyone else is wearing dress shirts and jeans. 3) lack of direct eye contact when speaking. 4) a sense of near-panic (different than garden-variety nervousness, you get the feeling this person is going to bolt at any second if someone says something wrong) when speaking. 5) either talks far too loudly or far too quietly for the situation. 6) (as previously mentioned) a project idea that verges on fantasy. 7) Near-complete lack of useful skills, or mentions attending "code bootcamp" to "get into programming". This applies to anyone, even normal people who pass all of the previous points, just to avoid a different type of time-burglar. I know this sounds insensitive and discriminatory, but... yeah, it's discriminatory. That's the point. I'm trying to discriminate between people who will completely waste my time and those who won't.

It's been a problem often enough that I've had to learn how to just walk away. Say something like, "thanks, good bye" if you can't just walk away. They don't know the difference between polite chit-chat and real interest, and they don't know the difference between politely and rudely ending the conversation, which mostly works to your advantage. They might make a scene, but unfortunately you sometimes lose the little gambles of life. I really like it when the events include a brief, round-circle intro period. Some general behavioral signs that I try to avoid: 1) bodily or facial ticks, like hand contortions. 2) obvious poor hygiene, like greasy, dandruffy hair or food stains around the mouth or on the shirt, very wrinkled clothing, shirt only half tucked. 3) very bad fashion sense, i.e. dirty sneakers with khaki pants (AKA The Ugliest Pants Known to Man) and a polo shirt (AKA The Ugliest Shirt Known to Man), or cargo shorts (pulled up too high) and conference swag t-shirt at an event where everyone else is wearing dress shirts and jeans. 3) lack of direct eye contact when speaking. 4) a sense of near-panic (different than garden-variety nervousness, you get the feeling this person is going to bolt at any second if someone says something wrong) when speaking. 5) either talks far too loudly or far too quietly for the situation. 6) (as previously mentioned) a project idea that verges on fantasy. 7) Near-complete lack of useful skills, or mentions attending "code bootcamp" to "get into programming". This applies to anyone, even normal people who pass all of the previous points, just to avoid a different type of time-burglar. I know this sounds insensitive and discriminatory, but... yeah, it's discriminatory. That's the point. I'm trying to discriminate between people who will completely waste my time and those who won't.