I think it's more straightforward and less depressing than that. For most people it's simply hard to tell the difference between someone with those traits ("st

I think it's more straightforward and less depressing than that. For most people it's simply hard to tell the difference between someone with those traits ("still waters run deep"), and someone who just doesn't have much to offer[0]. We do tend to correct those misperceptions given enough exposure and investment in the relationship, but it takes time -- and there's only so much time in a day. [0] modulo subject X or situation Y -- we all have talents