4 ms·

I agree. If you get a woman pregnant and marry her, it's called fulfilling your responsibility as a parent. You don't like it? Don't become a parent in the firs

I agree. If you get a woman pregnant and marry her, it's called fulfilling your responsibility as a parent. You don't like it? Don't become a parent in the first place. I find it disgusting that the writer would describe the guy's situation as being "sucked into a trap" (implying Japanese women are just scheming to catch a man) or that she would be sympathetic to him for being dumped by a girlfriend who wanted a stable breadwinner for a husband. The writer already states that "many women drop out of [employment] when they get married and have children, whether they want to or not," so wanting a husband who can support them is simply sensible.

thatswrong0 12y ago
> I find it disgusting that the writer would describe the guy's situation as being "sucked into a trap" You find it disgusting because you didn't read very carefully. Read it again: > Japan can be the best place in the world for some, but for others it can be a trap. And sometimes I think it’s far easier for Western men to be sucked into this trap than women. Then the author proceeds to list all of the ways in which a foreign man can become "trapped", from overworking, to hitting a career ceiling, to entering an unfamiliar relationship: > Men can be sidelined when it comes to participation in child-rearing and other home-related matters, such as controlling the family budget. to having difficulty finding work, to being harassed, and finally to having difficulty communicating with coworkers and people and feelings of exclusion. All of that is the "trap". I read absolutely _no_ such implication that Japanese women are scheming.
- jaredklewis 12y ago
  It's still ridiculous that they are portrayed as victims while Japan is portrayed as a "trap." It's not like these men are refugees from Syria. They chose to come to Japan, they chose to stay, and the nature of Japanese society has never been a secret. Most of their hardships are common sense. Surprise, surprise, career advancement in Japan often requires fluency in Japanese. And yes, supporting a family is generally pretty hard if you want to be a full time student. A subset of foreigners in Japan make it their hobby to explain to why their lives are tough, but leave out the fact that they chose it.

thatswrong0 12y ago

> I find it disgusting that the writer would describe the guy's situation as being "sucked into a trap" You find it disgusting because you didn't read very carefully. Read it again: > Japan can be the best place in the world for some, but for others it can be a trap. And sometimes I think it’s far easier for Western men to be sucked into this trap than women. Then the author proceeds to list all of the ways in which a foreign man can become "trapped", from overworking, to hitting a career ceiling, to entering an unfamiliar relationship: > Men can be sidelined when it comes to participation in child-rearing and other home-related matters, such as controlling the family budget. to having difficulty finding work, to being harassed, and finally to having difficulty communicating with coworkers and people and feelings of exclusion. All of that is the "trap". I read absolutely _no_ such implication that Japanese women are scheming.

jaredklewis 12y ago
It's still ridiculous that they are portrayed as victims while Japan is portrayed as a "trap." It's not like these men are refugees from Syria. They chose to come to Japan, they chose to stay, and the nature of Japanese society has never been a secret. Most of their hardships are common sense. Surprise, surprise, career advancement in Japan often requires fluency in Japanese. And yes, supporting a family is generally pretty hard if you want to be a full time student. A subset of foreigners in Japan make it their hobby to explain to why their lives are tough, but leave out the fact that they chose it.