6 ms·

I'm 25 and I have no understanding of human, sexuality, rich people, old people etc... How do I catch up?

by NhanH 12y ago

afarrell 12y ago
Read stories. Start with short stories and blog posts. Also audiobooks are great for when you are walking around. Take walks where you talk to yourself or a friend about those stories and thereby think about them more clearly via the same mechanism that makes rubber-duck debugging a good way to solve technical problems. This YouTube series is a good start to how to think about stories: https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8dPuuaLjXtOeEc9ME62zTfqc0h6Pe8vb https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8dPuuaLjXtOeEc9ME62zTf... Actually, John Green's works in general aren't bad for what you are after, but don't restrict yourself to one author. Accept that not only are all these things maddeningly complex, but that you will never be comfortable with their ambiguity. Also, go out into the world. Learn to be a good listener so those who are tired, scared, lonely, or otherwise vulnerable will come to you for comfort.
- qznc 12y ago
  I think you give too much credit to stories. I fully agree with listening to people. You need to respect them first, though. Every human being tries to live a good life. The filthy beggar on the street, the greedy wall street trader, the corrupt cop, the geeky programmer. I listed stereotypes. If you get to know people, you learn how they are not stereotypes. It does not matter if you travel around the world or around the block. You can meet very different people everywhere. Usually people love to talk about themselves. Just ask questions. More concrete? Find something you dislike (folk music, Pokemon, PHP, Justin Bieber, conservatives, art museums, baseball, soap operas), then find out why other people love it. Learn about biases, fallacies, psychology, persuasion. We meatbags are so broken, confused, and warped.
  - afarrell 12y ago
    My post definitely does. Too often we pattern-match against stories we already know and don't examine where reality deviates. But I don't know how to counteract that besides other countervailing or attached stories.
watmough 12y ago
I would highly recommend the books of Radcliffe Hall.
semi-extrinsic 12y ago
If you are up for a bit of a challenge, that will prove very rewarding, I recommend reading "Madame Bovary". Flaubert writes with such poise that it's like being there, experiencing the emotion of the room. But it's very different from a modern book.
angersock 12y ago
Go outside and talk to humans, old people, rich people, and get laid. No reading necessary.
- afarrell 12y ago
  > get laid That's a bad goal to direct you to anything useful. Trying really hard to just plain get laid is a self defeating quest because you'll probably creep people out in the process and make them not trust you enough to share their experiences (much less their sexuality) with you.
  - throwmeunder 12y ago
    And in turn learn social cues, how to approach people, rejection. Mistakes will hurt a bit more than at 16 yo but at the same time the social circle is more mature as well and can express themselves better if necessary. Also I agree that it's better to not have that as a end goal but if the person feels it as a burden, sex is a great tool for validation and ego boost. And it certainly is a quick way to bond with someone. Also in the pursuit of it people can really focus on improving themselves. Again it might be unhealthy to try really hard and in turn alienate people but it can also be motivating and can help sometimes. Especially if the person is mature enough and recognises normal limits. edit:Sorry. I got lost in the comment chain and missed the context of your post, sorry if that edit comes after your post.
  - angersock 12y ago
    It's worked for tens of thousands of years, so I think it's a reasonable goal. If somebody's goal is to understand sexuality, they should be out interacting with other people instead of reading books.
    - NhanH 12y ago
      Actually, unless I'm severely mistaken, most people managed the get laid over the last tens of thousands of years, but they're mostly terrible at understanding human and relationships. I've seen too many relatives, elders and generally people around me making one too many mistakes -- some even seems to do everything wrong. And I'm rather scared of that. "Getting laid" is definitely a skill by itself, but I disagree whether it has any relations with understanding human beings at large.

I'm 25 and I have no understanding of human, sexuality, rich people, old people etc... How do I catch up?

by NhanH 12y ago

I'm 25 and I have no understanding of human, sexuality, rich people, old people etc... How do I catch up?

Read stories. Start with short stories and blog posts. Also audiobooks are great for when you are walking around. Take walks where you talk to yourself or a friend about those stories and thereby think about them more clearly via the same mechanism that makes rubber-duck debugging a good way to solve technical problems. This YouTube series is a good start to how to think about stories: https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8dPuuaLjXtOeEc9ME62zTfqc0h6Pe8vb https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8dPuuaLjXtOeEc9ME62zTf... Actually, John Green's works in general aren't bad for what you are after, but don't restrict yourself to one author. Accept that not only are all these things maddeningly complex, but that you will never be comfortable with their ambiguity. Also, go out into the world. Learn to be a good listener so those who are tired, scared, lonely, or otherwise vulnerable will come to you for comfort.

qznc 12y ago
I think you give too much credit to stories. I fully agree with listening to people. You need to respect them first, though. Every human being tries to live a good life. The filthy beggar on the street, the greedy wall street trader, the corrupt cop, the geeky programmer. I listed stereotypes. If you get to know people, you learn how they are not stereotypes. It does not matter if you travel around the world or around the block. You can meet very different people everywhere. Usually people love to talk about themselves. Just ask questions. More concrete? Find something you dislike (folk music, Pokemon, PHP, Justin Bieber, conservatives, art museums, baseball, soap operas), then find out why other people love it. Learn about biases, fallacies, psychology, persuasion. We meatbags are so broken, confused, and warped.
- afarrell 12y ago
  My post definitely does. Too often we pattern-match against stories we already know and don't examine where reality deviates. But I don't know how to counteract that besides other countervailing or attached stories.

watmough 12y ago

I would highly recommend the books of Radcliffe Hall.

semi-extrinsic 12y ago

If you are up for a bit of a challenge, that will prove very rewarding, I recommend reading "Madame Bovary". Flaubert writes with such poise that it's like being there, experiencing the emotion of the room. But it's very different from a modern book.

angersock 12y ago

Go outside and talk to humans, old people, rich people, and get laid. No reading necessary.

afarrell 12y ago
> get laid That's a bad goal to direct you to anything useful. Trying really hard to just plain get laid is a self defeating quest because you'll probably creep people out in the process and make them not trust you enough to share their experiences (much less their sexuality) with you.
- throwmeunder 12y ago
  And in turn learn social cues, how to approach people, rejection. Mistakes will hurt a bit more than at 16 yo but at the same time the social circle is more mature as well and can express themselves better if necessary. Also I agree that it's better to not have that as a end goal but if the person feels it as a burden, sex is a great tool for validation and ego boost. And it certainly is a quick way to bond with someone. Also in the pursuit of it people can really focus on improving themselves. Again it might be unhealthy to try really hard and in turn alienate people but it can also be motivating and can help sometimes. Especially if the person is mature enough and recognises normal limits. edit:Sorry. I got lost in the comment chain and missed the context of your post, sorry if that edit comes after your post.
- angersock 12y ago
  It's worked for tens of thousands of years, so I think it's a reasonable goal. If somebody's goal is to understand sexuality, they should be out interacting with other people instead of reading books.
  - NhanH 12y ago
    Actually, unless I'm severely mistaken, most people managed the get laid over the last tens of thousands of years, but they're mostly terrible at understanding human and relationships. I've seen too many relatives, elders and generally people around me making one too many mistakes -- some even seems to do everything wrong. And I'm rather scared of that. "Getting laid" is definitely a skill by itself, but I disagree whether it has any relations with understanding human beings at large.