The idea that a pilot could put a plane on autopilot soon after takeoff and then "not touch anything" and end up landed on the ground again is patently ludicrou

The idea that a pilot could put a plane on autopilot soon after takeoff and then "not touch anything" and end up landed on the ground again is patently ludicrous. There are certainly things that automatic controls can do to make flying and landing a plane easier but they don't resemble your description at all. Source: I have a pilots license.