4 ms·

Right - it's that ceasing to be, as before I was, that scares me. Now that I have existed, I like it much better than before. That said, that's my hangup, and

Right - it's that ceasing to be, as before I was, that scares me. Now that I have existed, I like it much better than before. That said, that's my hangup, and has nothing to do with your right to choose to die with dignity. It's silly to me that you could choose to jump off a bridge, but can't choose something much less gruesome without fear that your or a loved one might find themselves tangled up legally.

sago 12y ago
I know this is getting OT, so apologies. And thank you for the second paragraph. But I'm interested in the first. To me it doesn't seem like I will cease to be, in any meaningful way. To cease to have something is to have it at some point but not another. I will never experience not being. So I find it hard to worry about that. Of course I enjoy being, but it's not like I would rather be than not be, because the latter would suck. So I find your first paragraph strange. And therefore interesting. [edit, add:] I scan sympathise with the point made about others: I'd very very much rather my wife was than ceased to be. But me? Only for other people's sake. I can't imagine how it could possibly make any difference to me. I can't even imagine the idea that I'd miss out on all those good experiences I'd have if I lived. Because again that just presupposes that I'd be missing something.
- themartorana 12y ago
  I never said it was a rational feeling :) I don't know the right way to explain the feeling. I think it's mostly the same sadness that one experiences when anything particularly wonderful comes to an end. I have known loss in a variety of ways, and I imagine dying taps in to that same idea of mourning. Something that I enjoy terribly must end, I have to say goodbye to not only a terrific experience - but to experience itself. It's mostly the anticipation of the thing, not so much the thing. I'm sure once I'm dead I won't care so much that I'm dead. I just care now that one day I will be. And thus concludes my inability to lend written word to irrational emotion. Edit: as I sit here reflecting now, I wonder if part of it isn't the fear of regret - of not having taken full advantage, of not having loved enough or having wasted time on things actually inconsequential. It's also making me wonder if I already know that I'll have those regrets and maybe should make a few changes. Tonight got deeper that I expected it to...
  - dhimes 12y ago
    "You" die every moment, and in the next moment a new "you" arises. The "you" now is different than the "you" five minutes ago- cells have been born and died, you've exchanged particles with your surroundings, your thoughts have changed, and so on. There is no "you" in the sense of an unchanging "being." It's impossible for "you" to exist for more than a moment. On the other hand the "you"s that have arisen have left an indelible footprint of their existence on the universe. It's impossible for those footprints to go away. They are immortal. That is not to say it is irrational to grieve your (our) unavoidable lack of being "alive," but it helps to understand clearly what we are grieving. It's not the ceasing of the existence of "you"- that happens every moment. It is the lack of the next arising. These are largely Buddhist thoughts FWIW.
- wjkm 12y ago
  Yes, you're exactly right. I think one of the reasons a lot of people get anxious and scared about death is because they think that when they die they're going to be locked up in a dark room forever... but you won't, because non-existence is not an experience. As Alan Watts put it, death will be just like going to sleep and never waking up, just as being born was waking up never having gone to sleep.
  - realityking 12y ago
    Isn't that even scarier? All my thoughts, memories, ideas, experiences will be gone, just vanished. Unlike @themartorana, I'm somewhat religious (or maybe spiritual would be a better word, as I recognize how much religion is influenced by man) but like he hopes to be proven wrong I'm terrified of being mistaken.
    - jpindar 12y ago
      You won't be able to experience your own thoughts and memories anymore, but we experience dead people's ideas all the time - if they put those ideas down in writing (or music, video etc.) And it's never in the history of mankind been easier to record your thoughts. Just do it.

sago 12y ago

I know this is getting OT, so apologies. And thank you for the second paragraph. But I'm interested in the first. To me it doesn't seem like I will cease to be, in any meaningful way. To cease to have something is to have it at some point but not another. I will never experience not being. So I find it hard to worry about that. Of course I enjoy being, but it's not like I would rather be than not be, because the latter would suck. So I find your first paragraph strange. And therefore interesting. [edit, add:] I scan sympathise with the point made about others: I'd very very much rather my wife was than ceased to be. But me? Only for other people's sake. I can't imagine how it could possibly make any difference to me. I can't even imagine the idea that I'd miss out on all those good experiences I'd have if I lived. Because again that just presupposes that I'd be missing something.

themartorana 12y ago
I never said it was a rational feeling :) I don't know the right way to explain the feeling. I think it's mostly the same sadness that one experiences when anything particularly wonderful comes to an end. I have known loss in a variety of ways, and I imagine dying taps in to that same idea of mourning. Something that I enjoy terribly must end, I have to say goodbye to not only a terrific experience - but to experience itself. It's mostly the anticipation of the thing, not so much the thing. I'm sure once I'm dead I won't care so much that I'm dead. I just care now that one day I will be. And thus concludes my inability to lend written word to irrational emotion. Edit: as I sit here reflecting now, I wonder if part of it isn't the fear of regret - of not having taken full advantage, of not having loved enough or having wasted time on things actually inconsequential. It's also making me wonder if I already know that I'll have those regrets and maybe should make a few changes. Tonight got deeper that I expected it to...
- dhimes 12y ago
  "You" die every moment, and in the next moment a new "you" arises. The "you" now is different than the "you" five minutes ago- cells have been born and died, you've exchanged particles with your surroundings, your thoughts have changed, and so on. There is no "you" in the sense of an unchanging "being." It's impossible for "you" to exist for more than a moment. On the other hand the "you"s that have arisen have left an indelible footprint of their existence on the universe. It's impossible for those footprints to go away. They are immortal. That is not to say it is irrational to grieve your (our) unavoidable lack of being "alive," but it helps to understand clearly what we are grieving. It's not the ceasing of the existence of "you"- that happens every moment. It is the lack of the next arising. These are largely Buddhist thoughts FWIW.
wjkm 12y ago
Yes, you're exactly right. I think one of the reasons a lot of people get anxious and scared about death is because they think that when they die they're going to be locked up in a dark room forever... but you won't, because non-existence is not an experience. As Alan Watts put it, death will be just like going to sleep and never waking up, just as being born was waking up never having gone to sleep.
- realityking 12y ago
  Isn't that even scarier? All my thoughts, memories, ideas, experiences will be gone, just vanished. Unlike @themartorana, I'm somewhat religious (or maybe spiritual would be a better word, as I recognize how much religion is influenced by man) but like he hopes to be proven wrong I'm terrified of being mistaken.
  - jpindar 12y ago
    You won't be able to experience your own thoughts and memories anymore, but we experience dead people's ideas all the time - if they put those ideas down in writing (or music, video etc.) And it's never in the history of mankind been easier to record your thoughts. Just do it.