5 ms·

Financial security is obviously important, and I might be in a minority here, but I'd like to think that financial strength isn't a good basis for choosing a pa

by dasboth 12y ago

Financial security is obviously important, and I might be in a minority here, but I'd like to think that financial strength isn't a good basis for choosing a partner. Depends what you want out of a relationship I guess.

cmdkeen 12y ago
Financial issues ruin marriages, moreso even than infidelity. "Richer or poorer" is the bit of the vow that might seem easy when you're young, in love and likely to get richer, but if a financial crisis destroys your social circle, uproots your children and severly challenges your lifestyle then it becomes very hard to overlook.
- jerf 12y ago
  I'd also observe that "ability to live within ones means" is not necessarily a "richer or poorer" thing. There are those who will always live within, say, 80% of their free income until you literally hit the bottom where you can no longer survive, and there are those who will always live within 125% of their income, even if you give them a 25% raise every single year of their life. The first of these is marriable, the second effectively isn't. (Note my complete lack mention of any gender whatsoever, or any other characteristics. Regardless of what the population statistics may be based on any traits a person may have, what matters is whether this person standing in front of you can live within their means, and anyone has the capacity to pass or fail this test.)
  - dasboth 12y ago
    Exactly, this is why I said financial strength (by that I mean the ability to buy an expensive diamond ring) in itself isn't as important.
draugadrotten 12y ago
> I'd like to think that financial strength isn't a good basis for choosing a partner. You rarely or never see beautiful women dating beggars and homeless people. You often see beautiful women dating the rich. Draw your own conclusions, but I observe and I see that financial strength is often required for attracting a partner. Required but not sufficient.
- dasboth 12y ago
  I agree that this is what can be observed, although it's probably a lot more complex than "being rich = beautiful partner". Either way that's why I said I'm probably in a minority in considering it less important than other traits (such as honesty and kindness).

by dasboth 12y ago

cmdkeen 12y ago

Financial issues ruin marriages, moreso even than infidelity. "Richer or poorer" is the bit of the vow that might seem easy when you're young, in love and likely to get richer, but if a financial crisis destroys your social circle, uproots your children and severly challenges your lifestyle then it becomes very hard to overlook.

jerf 12y ago
I'd also observe that "ability to live within ones means" is not necessarily a "richer or poorer" thing. There are those who will always live within, say, 80% of their free income until you literally hit the bottom where you can no longer survive, and there are those who will always live within 125% of their income, even if you give them a 25% raise every single year of their life. The first of these is marriable, the second effectively isn't. (Note my complete lack mention of any gender whatsoever, or any other characteristics. Regardless of what the population statistics may be based on any traits a person may have, what matters is whether this person standing in front of you can live within their means, and anyone has the capacity to pass or fail this test.)
- dasboth 12y ago
  Exactly, this is why I said financial strength (by that I mean the ability to buy an expensive diamond ring) in itself isn't as important.

draugadrotten 12y ago

> I'd like to think that financial strength isn't a good basis for choosing a partner. You rarely or never see beautiful women dating beggars and homeless people. You often see beautiful women dating the rich. Draw your own conclusions, but I observe and I see that financial strength is often required for attracting a partner. Required but not sufficient.

dasboth 12y ago
I agree that this is what can be observed, although it's probably a lot more complex than "being rich = beautiful partner". Either way that's why I said I'm probably in a minority in considering it less important than other traits (such as honesty and kindness).