3 ms·

Down payments and savings don't prove commitment. The point of signalling is to prove things. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signalling_theory https://en.wikipe

Down payments and savings don't prove commitment. The point of signalling is to prove things. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signalling_theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Signalling_theory If you change your spouse, your savings account remains the same. The ring you paid for is gone.

dietrichepp 12y ago
Right... but humans have a much richer way of signaling than most animals. My point is that some humans will find ways to signal commitment without sinking three months of their salary into a worthless rock. Signalling theory is an explanation for observed behavior, not a guarantee that such behavior will persist if the organisms in question develop alternative strategies. I like to think humans are pretty good at developing alternative strategies. Besides, if you get divorced, you don't get your down payment back anyway.
- facepalm 12y ago
  Sure, as I said in another comment, diamonds could probably be replaced. But it would probably be by something just as useless. Or maybe if you can find a way to mimic the effect, but make it useful, you have your hands on a very valuable startup idea. I guess it would be something like helping friends move, which is considered a good signal for true friendship. I don't know (not an expert on this), maybe if you find a way to "help your spouse move" for the equivalent worth of 3 months of your salary, you are good. Why don't you get your down payment back if you get divorced?
k__ 12y ago
The money is gone right from the start. Even if your spouse is with you till you die.
- facepalm 12y ago
  The point is, changing spouses is expensive if they all want a diamond ring. So that custom is a shield against heavy spouse changing. The whole marriage thing is also extremely expensive. I suspect for similar reasons - so that people think twice before throwing it away. In that case they also have angry friends and relatives who invested into expensive travel and presents and probably wouldn't be too happy if it was all for nothing.
  - lurkinggrue 12y ago
    I guess I should be happy that I'm gay and the state won't let me get married so I don't have to deal with this BS. But then I've also been with the same person for 19 years who also things the ring this is a scam.

dietrichepp 12y ago

Right... but humans have a much richer way of signaling than most animals. My point is that some humans will find ways to signal commitment without sinking three months of their salary into a worthless rock. Signalling theory is an explanation for observed behavior, not a guarantee that such behavior will persist if the organisms in question develop alternative strategies. I like to think humans are pretty good at developing alternative strategies. Besides, if you get divorced, you don't get your down payment back anyway.

facepalm 12y ago
Sure, as I said in another comment, diamonds could probably be replaced. But it would probably be by something just as useless. Or maybe if you can find a way to mimic the effect, but make it useful, you have your hands on a very valuable startup idea. I guess it would be something like helping friends move, which is considered a good signal for true friendship. I don't know (not an expert on this), maybe if you find a way to "help your spouse move" for the equivalent worth of 3 months of your salary, you are good. Why don't you get your down payment back if you get divorced?

k__ 12y ago

The money is gone right from the start. Even if your spouse is with you till you die.

facepalm 12y ago
The point is, changing spouses is expensive if they all want a diamond ring. So that custom is a shield against heavy spouse changing. The whole marriage thing is also extremely expensive. I suspect for similar reasons - so that people think twice before throwing it away. In that case they also have angry friends and relatives who invested into expensive travel and presents and probably wouldn't be too happy if it was all for nothing.
- lurkinggrue 12y ago
  I guess I should be happy that I'm gay and the state won't let me get married so I don't have to deal with this BS. But then I've also been with the same person for 19 years who also things the ring this is a scam.