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Sounds like you're the one that struggles with conversation.

astrodust 12y ago
You just shut the conversation down. Congratulations.
saiya-jin 12y ago
nah, I presume like in everything else, one should strive for quality, not quantity. this being highly subjective, one does not want to be one of those people desperate to talk at all costs, just to avoid moments of silence. people write here about being good listener, and encourage your counterparts to talk about them. this might be OK if you are trying at all costs to be liked by somebody else (ie find new friend). otherwise, be yourself, find interesting people that share your view with. and don't be desperate, worthy friendships take time to build, and are not meant to be had with everybody out there
- nickysielicki 12y ago
  I agree with you and I'm the same way. I look at it in a different light, though. It's not a deficiency in their ability to have a conversation, it's a trait of the way that we are. We don't waste our time on people that don't interest us. That's bad in some ways and good in others, but it does make us the bad conversationalists, not them.
- beat 12y ago
  As one of the proponents of active listening... well, motivations vary. Personally, I think the purpose of listening is to learn. Being liked for it is a useful side effect, but not the end itself. Just about everyone I meet knows something interesting and potentially useful that I don't know. I'm not sure I agree that the purpose of conversation is to create "worthy friendships", either. Often, it's just to pass the time, or be polite, or to discover if there's a common ground for future business. Conversation is what you do with other people, not just with friends. So how do we strive for quality? What makes a "quality" conversation? Is it what we talk about, or who we talk with?
  - nickysielicki 12y ago
    > So how do we strive for quality? What makes a "quality" conversation? Is it what we talk about, or who we talk with? Do what you love. You'll find everything you need there.

You just shut the conversation down. Congratulations.

nah, I presume like in everything else, one should strive for quality, not quantity. this being highly subjective, one does not want to be one of those people desperate to talk at all costs, just to avoid moments of silence. people write here about being good listener, and encourage your counterparts to talk about them. this might be OK if you are trying at all costs to be liked by somebody else (ie find new friend). otherwise, be yourself, find interesting people that share your view with. and don't be desperate, worthy friendships take time to build, and are not meant to be had with everybody out there

nickysielicki 12y ago
I agree with you and I'm the same way. I look at it in a different light, though. It's not a deficiency in their ability to have a conversation, it's a trait of the way that we are. We don't waste our time on people that don't interest us. That's bad in some ways and good in others, but it does make us the bad conversationalists, not them.
beat 12y ago
As one of the proponents of active listening... well, motivations vary. Personally, I think the purpose of listening is to learn. Being liked for it is a useful side effect, but not the end itself. Just about everyone I meet knows something interesting and potentially useful that I don't know. I'm not sure I agree that the purpose of conversation is to create "worthy friendships", either. Often, it's just to pass the time, or be polite, or to discover if there's a common ground for future business. Conversation is what you do with other people, not just with friends. So how do we strive for quality? What makes a "quality" conversation? Is it what we talk about, or who we talk with?
- nickysielicki 12y ago
  > So how do we strive for quality? What makes a "quality" conversation? Is it what we talk about, or who we talk with? Do what you love. You'll find everything you need there.