The thing is, EVERYBODY thinks this about themselves by default, not just you. Nobody is sitting there thinking that they wish people would just sugarcoat every

The thing is, EVERYBODY thinks this about themselves by default, not just you. Nobody is sitting there thinking that they wish people would just sugarcoat everything for them and be as passive-aggressive and indirect as possible. Likewise, everybody probably feels like they have to be this way when interacting with other people, and that that can be burdensome sometimes. It can be very, very different when you're actually in that situation though, and your boss is giving you the Torvaldsing that you always thought you wanted. If there is even a teensy part of you that thinks your boss is a jerk, or that they don't respect you, or that you know more about whatever it is that they're Torvaldsing you about, that part of you is being given a golden opportunity to assert itself really hard. Maybe it will, maybe it won't, but it's human nature and why spark the flint if you don't have to. I thought I was completely immune to this kind of defensiveness for most of my life, and it wasn't until I got into my 40s that I realized that it was always there. Another way of looking at is, what is gained by being as blunt as possible, as opposed to the rules in this article? I'd say nothing. Nothing recommended here makes communication any more ambiguous or time-consuming. In fact it's about being more clear about what exactly you are discussing.